I have been thinking of this on and off for the last year or so and wanted to get everyone's opinions. I have a few friends that have been very good friends since high school. We all have families now but the main difference is that my oldest is at least 3 years younger than their youngest kids. Because they have been such good friends I have kept sending invitations for my kids birthday parties. They haven't come to the parites for the last few years because of the age difference. All the kids still play together when we get together as a group but when you add it all of my kid's friends it's different. They don't really know anyone and because of the age difference they feel out of place. As a result the birthday's are typically very boring for them. I don't mind if they don't come - who wants to go to a birthday where all the kids are 3-4 years younger than you are but I've kept sending invitations because the kids are otherwise still close. Knowing they probably will decline the invitation should I continue to send them or just talk to my friends and tell them the details and they can come if they would like? What would you do?
I think I would stop sending invitations. At some point as the kids get older I think it's really about the kids' personal friendships for party invites, who the birthday child is close to and who the birthday child really wants to be there, and not who happens to be the kids of their parents' friends.
If you are as close as you say you are then definitely just ask your friends if their kids are getting bored of the parties. Let them know it doesn't offend you, you've just noticed the age difference seems to be hitting that stage where the older ones don't care to hang out with the younger ones, it happens. But also let them know you still love them coming but don't want to keep boring the older ones if they'd rather be somewhere else.
I stopped inviting my high school friends when my son turned 4 last year and we had his first party at a place I paid for, rather than at home or the park. Since he is not close enough with their kids, and some of them were too young, it made sense not to invite them. Like yours, they play nicely when we all get together, but we don't see them on a daily, or even weekly, basis, so we don't invite them to the parties anymore.
Let your son have friends his age at his party and save your socializing with your high school friends for another occasion.
I had a friend whose kids didn't come because of the age different between her sons and mine, and I said "I understand, that's fine". Then on the phone I'd mention "Joe's having a birthday party on __ " and leave it at that, and keep talking. Once she came without her kids, and we hung out. But after the first decline because of age differences, I never invited them again, because that is something that isn't going to change. A scheduling conflict, a sick kid, other reasons would have warranted another invitation the next time, but age differences will always be there, and aren't likely to even out until the kids are in their mid-20s, ya know? You can always meet up with your own friend another day.
Just talk to your friends and skip the paper invites.
Good question!!
I would just verbally tell your good friends that the kids are more than invited, but it's okay if they don't...
i would send the invites as the parents might drag their kids over. I have a couple friends who have older children and i send them invites just to let them know I havent forgotten about them and that im not snubbing them.
If you are able to do it, have a celebration with them. Maybe a little pizza dinner.
Do they extend invitations to your children for their children's birthday parties? And if so do you attend? I would consider my answers to those questions, but my gut would tell me to stop sending them and just enjoy the time when you get together as a group. Doing things out of a perceived obligation is sometimes pointless ; )
I would send an announcement via email vs an actual invitation.
