When??? - Tampa,FL

Updated on July 25, 2011
N.L. asks from Asheville, NC
11 answers

When do toddlers start to be afraid of things (like thunderstorms, dark, etc)? How do you help them?
N.

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M.M.

answers from Chicago on

Personally, mine never has, and he's 3. Every kid is different.

But I think the average age is between 2-3.

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J.N.

answers from Philadelphia on

all different times, you stop it by explaining to them exactly why its happening in terms they can understand...they have kid youtube educational vidoes and songs for explaining the water cycle...my daughter loves that song...most times fear comes from the unknown...once they understand it they're fine

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K.P.

answers from New York on

I asked this question about six months ago and got some really great responses!

It's really common for toddlers to experience "irrational fears" meaning that they come out of nowhere to the adults but are very real for the toddler. Their imaginations are developing rapidly and they can't always differentiate b/w "real" and "imaginary".

The best thing we did for our son was to acknowledge his fear, but to stress the "reality" of the situation. Don't make too much of an issue out of it, but don't "enable it" either!

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S.H.

answers from St. Louis on

anything can happen at any age.....with my daycare, we simply "cheer" during storms. It makes it a happy moment....& then we move on.

Most of these fears take hold only when you make a big deal of the fear factor.....instead of applauding the "happy".

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S.C.

answers from Des Moines on

It totally depends on the kid if/when they develop fears. but the single most important thing you can do is be calm yourself! If they see you dealing calmly with things they're more likely to do the same!

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T.P.

answers from Indianapolis on

My daughter didn't start until she was 4. She is afraid of thunder unless she's at home and she has to sleep with a night light. She is also afraid of rain. She siad she doesn't want to get wet. All of this happened when she turned 4.

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J.L.

answers from Chicago on

I think by the time they're 2 and more self aware.

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R.J.

answers from Seattle on

Many don't.

Most start to when being afraid of such things starts being on television shows or they come across friends who do. Also ANY time a parent is afraid of something, kids tend to freak about them (big note for preschool/K/babysitting/etc.). They reeeeally take their cues from parent's facial expressions, tones of voice, and body language. After all if GOD came down and started wringing his hands about grass... most people would get a little wild around the eyes and start yanking up their lawns. With a 10' pole.

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J.W.

answers from Lexington on

Obviously, some do not get afraid of things like that since my younger daughter did not. She was a very serious, analytical, rational being who, even at two, liked to talk talk talk talk and discussed so many things. I believe explanations about causes and effects alleviated any potential fears. She loved thunderstorms, was not afraid of the dark... was always thinking about what was real and what was not and used logic. It disconcerted her older sister who still believed in things that were not real, but each child is different.

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S.B.

answers from Fort Myers on

My daughter is 8 and she says she is afraid and shivers and puts her shoulders near her ears when she sees lightning/ thunder but i know she is faking the fear. I try get her to tell me what she is afraid of but i dont get it. I just assure her that we are very safe and its a natural thing that happens when it rains heavy. I try not to give her special treatment when it does do this, otherwise she will rely on that and always treat and fear thunderstorms because she gets soemthign special.

J.S.

answers from Jacksonville on

I don't think there is a set date. :) My 2 1/2 year old is afraid of loud noises. We taught her how to tell us when she was scared, and usually a few "It's ok, it just a truck, motorcycle, etc." Will do the trick. My bestfriends daughter was afraid of the dark so they gave her a nightlight and a tiny flashlight, problem solved.

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