What Would U Do - Davenport,IA

I would also explain to him that boys can be just as acrobatic as girls. Does he want to try gymnastics? Maybe he thinks it is a girl sport.

Other than that I don't know if there is too much to talk about.

I remember being quite a tomboy as a child. I preferred to play with boys, catching frogs and snakes and running around in the woods with toy guns. I actually still prefer those things. We don't all conform to traditional gender roles. I even tried my hardest to pee standing up because I was jealous that the boys could do it! (Didn't go well.)

I would not have made a big deal about it at all. I would have said yes, because I want to be able to pee wherever I want to - boys have a much easier time of doing that.

Nothing wrong with dance or gym for boys though, let him try one of those.

Yeah, drop it. This sounds 100% developmentally appropriate. He is becoming aware of the differences between the genders. The differences that go beyond the biological. It's not like he was all "gee mom I wish I could know what it was like to have boobs and a vagina one day", he was thinking purely on an experiential level. And a little bit on the physical level (their flexibility) It sounds like he was also asking, what would be different about me if I were female, could I do the same things I can now, or more? And bless his heart, he thinks a few days are all he'd need to figure it out.

In fact he sounds like a very tuned in and empathetic boy. It's a maturity thing, and a self-awareness thing. Like when an only child wonders what it is like to have a sibling, and then extends it further by asking someone else if they ever wonder what it would be like to be an only.

Google "men's gymnastics" and have him watch some on YouTube.

I'd take him to a circus and have him watch the acrobats and tumblers - even the clowns!.
Both sexes are equally talented.

There's no reason he can't take gymnastics.
If he's interested, sign him up!

If you ask kids too many questions, even if you are doing it in a kind, loving tone, it starts to feel like interrogation. (Does anyone remember the mother who posted a video of her kid sitting on a table while she knelt down and pestered and pestered him with loving question after loving question, and the kid started freaking out? She wouldn't shut up, and she wouldn't let him off the table. And she was wondering why he was freaking out.)

Even adults don't want to be questioned endlessly about personal stuff.

You are right, you do confuse him by asking him too many questions. By doing so, you are taking something that should be treated lightly and making it way too serious.

Stop asking your kid so many questions. Try limiting it to three questions, about anything. Take your cues FROM HIM, about how much he wants to talk about anything. Just keep your tone light and matter of fact.

"Oh, that's interesting. What would you like about being a girl." (Listen) "Oh, yes, that would be fun. Anything else?" (Listen. He probably won't have much more to say after this. "Yes, being a girl has some good points. I like being a girl. What's good about being a boy?" (Listen) Probably the conversation will come to a natural end after this.

No point in worrying if your son is transgender or gay. If he is, he is, But he's probably not, based on what you told us he said. If he is, you will adjust.

Stop asking so many questions and putting your anxiety on your kid! Let life be what it is! You can't control life.

What would I do? Not ask him quite so many questions as to put more ideas of it in his head.

Anyway, at this point, I'd enroll him in gymnastics. He will find out that he'll have just as much fun as a boy doing gymnastics as girls do.

I think you handled it well. I know, it's always a bit of a surprise when they just ask things out of the blue.

I tend to keep the I will love you no matter what to minimums ... because they just assume of course that you will. I also don't ask too many questions. One of mine was into girl stuff around same age, and I asked too many questions I think (although I tried just being casual about it). In grade 5 when they learned about transgender and transsexual at school he came home and said "was that what you were getting at?". They remember.

My sister was described as a tom boy - and she grew up to be hetero but she had a very active imagination (went on to be an artist) and she always wanted to be a boy because back then (70s) she saw more boys on TV and movies doing the stuff she wanted to be doing. She just related to it more at the time.

So I get the part about him wanting to be more acrobatic. I like the idea of letting him try that out if it interests him.

I have learned when mine come to me with things out of the blue to just stay with them more that day. So if one comes home and throws me for a loop with a funny question, I'll be sure to hang out in kitchen with them after supper, or linger while putting stuff away in their room, or flop next to them on couch while they're watching tv .... then if they are having concerns, you're there to listen and answer questions. Mine tell me far more (and it's not skewed by me) that way.

You dealt with it really well I think :)

Don't overthink this.
He's just beginning to notice the differences among the boys and the girls that he interacts with every day.
It's perfectly normal to see someone different from you who has abilities you don't and want those abilities. He apparently knows a lot of acrobatic girls, and attributes their ability to their sex.
Sounds llike he wants to be an acrobat more than he wants to be a girl. He just thinks it would be easier to be an acrobat if he were a girl.
I can recall thinking at about that age that life would be much easier if I were a boy because I could pee pretty much anywhere without haveing to take half my clothes off. But I never had any desire to BE a boy.
The kid is happy with who he is. Don't lose any sleep over this.

Put him in gymnastics! I used to be a gymnast and those guys are hot!! Sure they are acrobatic, they wear tights, but there is nothing not guy about them.

Guess I am saying wanting to be a gymnast is really nothing to get worked up about.

It seems he was speaking in terms of being more flexible. Explain that there are wonderful girl and boy acrobatics and find out if he is interested in enrolling in the next tumbling class. I would quit asking about boy or girl and let him be.

I would sign him up for a gymnastics class.

I'd pull up some youtube videos of gymnastics so he could see men doing them and then ask if he wants to take gymnastics so he can learn the moves. You did a good job with him.

I think it's pretty normal to be curious about a lot of things at this age. My 8 year son recently was walking around doing everything with his eyes closed because he wanted to see what it was like to be blind. He doesn't want to be visually impaired- he was just curious.
I think your son is in the same boat. Try not to overthink this. To be honest, if my 8 yo asked me what this question ,I would have answered it and not thought twice about it after that.

It doesn't sound like he has a gender identity issue, but rather just curious. I'd ask if he'd like to try a course in gymnastics to become more acrobatic. Watching a video of men gymnasts is a great idea to start!

I would take it as he doesn't want to be a girl, really, and isn't transgender, but has an interest in gymnastics. I would find a gym for him if he wants to take classes and not really worry about anything he pretends to be at this age. I think he's just a curious child.

Sounds like you did fine! You let him talk, you asked a few questions, and let him know you loved him. If he brings it up again, I think you can consider more open-ended questions rather than yes/no ones, but that's not to criticize what you said this time. I'm not sure I know what he means about girls being more acrobatic - you might put on some competitions form the sports channels for different things like gymnastics and so on, as well as groups like Cirque de Soleil and even dance troupes so he can see the wide range of acrobatic abilities in men and women. But maybe he means women are more flexible in doing splits and so on, due to hip structure? But I'm not sure that's entirely true, only what he may have observed. It's possible that exposure to performance styles and so on will spur more conversation.

I think the most important thing is that he felt he could come to you and express his feelings. I'd let him take the lead most of the time though, and not grill him on things. Let him know he can come to your with anything.

It's a normal curiosity. I'd sign him up for gymnastics. Legalos was my favorite character from Lord of the Rings too!

Sign him up for gymnastics. It sounds like most of the sports stuff he's seeing isn't a fit for him. Gymnastics is for everyone.

And heck, if you can find an archery place, maybe he can do that :) I took a class for fun in my early 20's.

It's normal to wonder. Let him be. If there are some co-ed gymnastic classes in your area (especially short term so he can just try it), maybe you could look into that for him.

Nothing. You handled it beautifully.

There's a big difference between "I wonder what it's like to be a girl" and "I feel like I AM a girl."

I don't think there's an issue here. I wanted to be a boy from about age 4 to age 11. I hated snotty girls and their clique-ish attitudes. Boys didn't act like that, all hateful and dramatic and snooty. So I played with the boys.

Don't worry about it. ♥

I agree with the gymnastics suggestions. See if you can find some videos from the recent Pan American games. The American who won the men's all around is pretty amazing to watch. One of Sam Mikulak's former coaches now is my daughter's coach. Sign him up for some gymnastics classes. My almost 6 year old son loves gymnastics. Even if it isn't something that he pursues long term, he will learn skills that will help him in other sports. As he gets older it could lead into Parkour which is pretty amazing to watch. Guys are doing things that don't seem humanly possible.