What to Get MIL for X-mas

Oh what to do with those marter mother in laws. Have the kids make her a velvet reading glasses holder, with "Grandma" poorly embroidered on it. Give it a long golden string of yarn so she can wear it around her neck. If she puts down a hand-crafted gift made with love, throw her in the bay.

Try creating her a personal calendar w/ picutres of her grandchildren. This way she can enjoy it all year long. Who doesn't need a calendar?

http://www.wholeliving.com/recipe/cranberry-tea-bread

That's the link for the tea bread we bake for the adults every year. Cheap and thoughtful all at the same time. Bake two days in advance, let cool completely, wrap in cellophane and add a nice tag. Rosemary bread is a good one too, but a bit more work.

AFTER READING YOUR “So What Happened Response”.

When one responds with “Whatever”, other then being a pretty juvenile comment, it also translates into, “ I’m right and you’re wrong”, and never the two shall meet.

Your mother in law may be difficult and I predict you may be equally difficult when you become a mother in law. So when you purchase the book on manners for your mother in law, you might browse the books on compassion and tolerance, as a gift to yourself.

Whether I like or dislike the women my son dates, especially the long term ladies, I look at them as the possible, future mothers of my future grandchildren and more importantly, the possible future wife and life partner of my son. So I treat them with the love and respect that they deserve.

The last thing I would want to do is offend or be offended by someone my son loves, thus putting him in the woeful position of choosing or siding between two people that he also loves. Sometime this means I bite my lip and we all move forward.

Blessings…..

Dear J., “No Time, No Money, Lots of Love” and the other Mama’s that seem sort negative concerning their mother in laws, I’m not feeling the LOVE!

Ladies, while many of you had some great, thoughtful and inexpensive ideas, a few of you better watch out, you could be headed for Santa’s “NAUGHTY LIST”.

No matter how you may feel about your mother in laws, you ALL have a couple of things in common; you love your husband and children and so do they!

In reality, what most of your parents and grandparents (his and yours) would cherish is a little of your TIME. So if you don’t have money to take them out to dinner or lunch on Sunday, make a homemade gift certificate to dinner at your house (on a no special occasion date). Better yet fix the meal and bring it to their house.

I can understand the NO money part, as far as the NO time, make the time...they made lots of time for you and your husband.

Blessings…..

PS...Something for All Mamas to Ponder - Your husbands may think your mother is a little "Out There" too!

Wow, when I read this, all I could think of is "How does she have MY MIL?" So, here's what I think. DOn't stress out looking for the perfect gift. In her eyes, you won't ever find it. What she needs is a big bottle of colon cleanse. And if you hit the 20.00 mark, we could be looking at Super Colon Cleanse, which sounds appropriate as her head needs to find a way out of there and it may be tough! Wow, to say those things to someone ("Oh I guess I should have gone to Wal Mart"...or, "I must really love MY family") is just mean. No sugarcoating that one. I guess you could get her a craft kit where she could make her own frame to proudly display a big photo of herself in. If you were feeling generous, you could do it for her. I'd love to say give her a note that says sleep with one eye open lady, but I wanna try to help. I think you should pack her bags and send her on a guilt trip. Buy some really inexpensive scrapbook (small 6x6) and collect a few pictures of all of your family members who are going to be there and have each person write a special message about why they like/love Sybil in the first place. Each page is a picture of her with someone special and their message to her like "I love when Grandma takes me to the park," or "I enjoy the smell of Grandma's house when she has just made her famous jam." If you don't have a lot of pictures to illustrate what people want to say, have a kid draw them. Can she be mean to a kid? Kids too young to talk? Write something for them and sign it with their handprint or footprint, and have the photo show them in an outfit she bought for them. (You can also get a kit with everything you need to thro this book together except the pix for less than 20.00, including adhesive. If you have trouble finding one, let me know. I'll find one for you!) So you decorate it a bit. You may even have some craft items to decorate with, but if not, get some papers and a few stickers and a nice pen or two. Tie the book closed with a pretty ribbon, put it in a box and wrap it up. You can make her cry, but in a good way, and show her what the holidays are all about. I think she may be happy to learn that people like her afterall. Maybe that's why she tries hard to buy everyone?
I truly hope it goes well and that you get a gazillion great suggestions. I hope mine made you smile.
~S

Hi J.,

I think when you get to be the age of your MIL you don't need more stuff. I've since stopped buying the older folks in the family things and moved on to plants and gift cards. They especially like gift cards to Borders or Barnes and Noble. Good luck, sounds like this woman is bound and determined to be unhappy, so don't take it personal, believe me it has NOTHING to do with you!!
Merry Christmas!!
K.

I think there are many of us who understand your problem, and I don't mean Christmas. You can't win, so don't stress. Do your best and move on. Better yet, put your husband in charge of his mother's gift.

My MIL gives a list of things she'd like, and expects the same from all of us too.

How about shopping at the outlets. You might get more for your money. Check out their websites. They often list specials, at least Gilroy Outlet does.

S

He he - I had to laugh when I read this just because MIL can be funny this way. My MIL refuses to ever tell us what she wants every year. "Whatever you get will be fine." She doesn't even tell us what her interests are really, so I admit I get frustrated, but then I go OK, if you say so....and honestly, she really does like what we give her, so I can't complain. It would just be easier if she gave ideas, but what can you do?

This year my husband and daughter made a bird house for her and her husband - they've recently redone their backyard. It was part of a project for school, but the teacher recommended that the project could be a gift for a grandparent, so we decided that the teacher had a great idea. You could build something like this and have the kids paint it. I would think something made by you, your husband and the kids from the heart would eliminate the "comments". We're making my father-in-law and his wife a bocce ball scoreboard for their bocce ball court.

I also have thought of burning a few CDs for my MIL of oldies music that my dad has on his iPod/computer that I know she doesn't have. Another idea is getting one of those calendars made with pics of your family/kids - they're usually about $20. I personally have made my own w/o the help of a service and that keeps costs down too - the grandparents LOVE it. Or how about one of those movie packs with two tickets, popcorn, drink, etc. Usually that's about $20.

Well, good luck and Merry Christmas!

I always do pictures for the In-laws. One year I did a calendar with pictures of my boys on every month. That was a big hit and it was like $12. This year I am having them paint ornaments. I got a ton of blank ones last year at the after Christmas sale for almost nothing. Like you, our parents have more money than we do, so it's hard to buy them something they want and haven't bought. So, home-made kid stuff or framed pics, maybe a knitting bag with all her Grandkids hand prints on it. Grandparent stuff LOL!

Hi J.,

I would try something from the heart/homemade. I'm not sure how old your kids are, but they can draw her a picture and you can put it in a nice frame. Or if they are too young, you could give her a great pic of her with your kids or just your kids alone. Most grandmas love to show off their grandkids, so you can't go wrong!

Have a blessed Christmas!
N.

You can order adorable photo mugs online from Costco ($6.99 each ) using family photos. I used old photos that my family hasn't seen in a long time. See if you can find a few shots of her and her family back when your husband was a little boy. If you order soon you can still have them before Christmas.

I bought for a family member this year the Straight No Chaser cd. They are a men's a cappella group and their cd is all Christmas tunes. It is absolutely beautiful, with a very funny rendition or the 12 Days. You can see them on You Tube. My FIL loved it (we already celebrated Christmas with them). I may buy a couple more copies and bring them to parties for Hostess gifts.

Dear J.,
Here is a really simple idea that I did when my kids were little. And it costs virtually nothing. We made a bunch and gave them as gifts or tied them to packages.
Get a sheet of poster board available just about anywhere. They sell them at Rite Aid for sure and come in various colors, but we used white. The sheets are big so you can use them for lots of other things or put the rest away for next year.
I traced the kids hands and made a template then cut the hands out of the sturdy poster board. Then, give them some Elmer's glue, some glitter or buttons, whatever you want, and let them decorate them. I used a nail to make a hole at the tip of the middle finger and tied on a ribbon so it could hang on the christmas tree. They turned out really cute. This time of year you can get all kinds of little things to glue on like holiday buttons or little tiny ribbons. Grandmas love getting things the kids make!

How about a book with craft ideas/projects?
Good luck!
C.

I made peppermint bath salts with my kids for Grandma, teachers, aunt. It was fun, inexpensive, and very festive. I am not crafty and I was able to do it and quickly. Then you can buy solid colored bags for the kids to decorate. We have given a bunch out and everyone has loved them and been very impressed. Let me know if you need suggestions on where to buy stuff. Also if you don't need that much you could half the recipe.
C.

http://organizedchristmas.com/recipe-candy-cane-bath-salts

This is not a competition, between your MIL and yourself. (I was in the same situation with a good friend of mine, and I finally just told her no more gift exchanges.) If all you can give is love, just do that. Give her all the love she can handle, spend a day with her and the kids, that's all it needs. If she loves you and your family, she shouldn't care what you get her, it's the thought that counts. She should care about the happiness of your family instead of putting you in the bad position of what to get her. If she chose to spend a lot more on other peoples present, she shouldn't expect anything in return.
J.

I can't imagine making negative comments about what someone bought me for a present - in front of them, no less! I am sorry you have to deal with that.

I would get her a $20 gift card to Michael's or Beverly's. That way she can pick what craft project or supplies she likes.

After reading the rest of the responses, I just wanted to add something else. I get my mom the SAME thing every year. She gets a pound of her favorite See's candy, and framed (by me) pictures of my kids. It makes gift giving easy! I am VERY lucky to have ILs who just want cash, so they can go do the tiny bit of gambling they enjoy. So easy.

Old Navy has huge sales on Saturday's $5 - $20 deals with Cashmere Sweaters for $30. Get her a gift receipt and she can return it if she doesn't like it.

There is a store on Broadway is Sonoma (a yarn store) going out of business (doors close on 12/21) Their name is Bella Yarns I think. I bet they have some beautiful knitting stuff for a great price if you live close by. Good Luck. I have a lot of struggles with my cynicle Monther in Law and my sweet husband always reminds me, difficult Mother in Laws are part of the package. Good Luck!

I found little picture frames at Target and put photos of all my mother-in-laws grandchildren in them. They can be coasters for the coffee table or also have stands in the back so you can display them. She loved them. Good luck!

we went to a paint your own ceramics place & made ornaments with the kids' handprints on them. i paired that with a photo of my husband and the kids for my MIL and me & the kids for my mom. ( we took the pix ourselves & printed them in 5*7) It was about $20 for both items (so, it's really about $10 for just your MIL) & then i got a GC for my mom's favorite store.

hello -
i did not read all of the other responses, however I know my MIL loved a 'date' with the grandkids. You can print personalized gift certificates for a day at the park or a trip to the zoo, or lunch or time at the library..

A.

Dear J.,
Maybe you could get her some pretty and higher quality knitting needles or today they make really beautiful stitch markers. You probably don't have a clue what I am talking about if you don't knit, but a stitch marker is slipped on to the knitting needle to remind the knitter to start with the special stitch or a decrease...
They are a metal ring and some have beads and look pretty when being worked with and on the needle. You would have to go to a good knitting store (Not Michaels...)and the staff there will know what you are talking about. I hope this helps. Greetings A.

I make calendars for the grandmothers. Two ways to do it - either on-line, for digital pictures (about $20) or at FedEx/Kinko's or Staples. Staples was $10-$15 2 years ago and FedEx/Kinkos was $22. If you include picture of her with the kids all the better.

Hi J.,

Irontically my daughter in law is J.. Right now at Tuesday mornings there are cute pin cushions for about $4.00. They are shaped like a bug, spider, or a teacup. You could get her one of those and a gift certificate to Joannes material shop for $15.00.

Have a nice Christmas.

I just bought my daughter the cutest sewing basket- it was 15 dollars at Joanes Fabrics. (you can look online too, before you go out tromping around, just to see whats available out there right now. A lot of what was online was the same or similar to what was at Joanes)

You could get her a subscription to a hobbie magazine.

Or a sewing project book. Barnes and Nobles has a ton of books.

I'm a hobby/craft person. I love to get supplies, books, etc.
Just inclue a receipt in case something doesnt work. Ps...some stores, walmart is one of them, give you the sales/clearance price back when you have a gift reciept. Use the regular recipt when giving gifts.

J.,
Would she like something that your kids made for her? Like an ornament or something? I know my MIL and FIL love that sort of thing, and in their estimation it is priceless. If your kids are small you could do a photo 2009 calendar with cute pictures of them with her etc.
Just a thought,
D.

I am in the same boat. One suggestion is to purchase a photo coffee mug ($10 Target), print a great photo of her grandchild or of the family and insert. Inexpensive and thoughtful. Good Luck.

Have the kids draw a picture of themselves and grandma, then frame it so she can hang it on the wall. Other suggestions are consumable items, like a special jar of all fruit preserves, or syrup, salad dressing, coffee beans, teas, etc. (something she likes) and is from a speciality shop or produce stand, with natural ingredients. I am a grandma that loves photos of my grandchild, especially if we're together. ( I've always hoped to receive a calender with monthly photos of my son's family and grandchildren remembering special moments we've shared.) I also Love anything handmade by the kids. Gifts that evoke memories are some of my favorite. Gifts that promise future time together are very special to me. This year you can buy postage stamps with a photo of your children on them! Anything that is personal should be a very welcome gift.

have your kids make her something that's what we are doing this year I have 4 kids and we are having there hand prints painted on a white tee shirt its really not a bout money its about was the present from the heart Keep it simple and if there to young so what it just makes it more fun Please don't stressed Tis the season not to be stressed like.
I like to say:
MONEY CAN"T BUY LOVE OR HAPPINESS
Merry Christmas
D. mom of 4

I think you should be able to get a decent sized bag of coal for that price! LOL

Does she like to bake? On Good Morning America they showed making a baking kit for something like cookies (which would be great for her to do with the kids at some point). You measure out all the dry ingredients and package them up. Provide the cookie sheets which would make a great wrapping base for the cellophane, a mixing spoon and the recipe on pretty paper.

Get her a gift that involes your children, like something w/ their photo on it or it. How can she argue w/ that. good luck

Hi J.--
You can get her two skeins of really, really nice yarn (in SF, they sell them at Urban Knitting Studio, Noe Knits, and other places) or a subscription to a knitting magazine--there are tons of them for all different levels and most subs aren't more than 20 bucks. Good luck!--N.

What about nicely framed portraits of your family? I know that can get pricey, but believe you could get at least one good one of your whole family within your limits. (Of course, that will mean go to WalMart for the frame, but they have some nice ones.)

To be honest, as I read your comments about her saying she should have gone to WalMart like the rest of you and how she must really love her family, I wonder if she will stick with the limit, or if having the limit will change her attitude. I hope it works out for all of you, but am saying don't be too discouraged if it doesn't. Just love her as she is.

J.,

I agree with Deanne. Have your kids make her something special. It really is the thought that counts. She should really appreciate all the effort that your kids put into a gift made just for her.

Take care,

Molly

How about a gift card for her fave yarn store???

A few thoughts I had around the knitting in that price range would be ... a magazine called "Living Craft", it is a craft/knitting magazine with amazing ideas for making things for kids, if she likes to make gifts for the kids in her life. Also, there is a website called silkenskystudio.com and they sell felt kids that you and your kids could make her a Xmas angel, or something similar. The kits are all made up and very unique! Also, the ladies in my knitting class talk about these knitting mystery novels they exchange with each other and love. If you called a local knitting shop they may have one or could recommend one. Good luck!!

As a professional organizer who helps people reduce clutter, I am a big fan of non-"stuff" gifts. First on my list is charitable giving - great for the person who has everything and for the organization that really could use a little something more this season. Even a $20 donation to her favorite cause is meaningful.
If that doesn't fit your style, what about movie tickets (you can buy discounted ones at Costco, for example) or a pass to a museum she might like or a special outing for her and a loved one of her choice. Time is more important than money and the things it buys. Please take this opportunity to change her perspective on the meaning of Christmas (and life generally)
Merry Christmas to you.

A framed picture of the kids? That is what we're doing for the grandparents this year. My husband has a nice camera, we dressed all the kids up and took pictures outside. We're printing them ourselves and framing them. It's costing about $10 per set of grandparents.

Make her something that involves the kids. Calendar, coffee mug, t-shirt with picture. If you let the kids get involved, they would be very happy about that as well.

I think that maybe next year you should ask her in advance for a Christmas list. And just tell her I have X amount of dollars to spend on each person. You could even still do that this year...

Another option would be (we do this in our family), we each buy a uni-sex gift (we set a $25 limit u can set whatever kind of limit that you want) and then we draw numbers and pick a gift in order of the numbers - so #1 picks a gift, and #2 can then pick a new present or steal #1's present, #3 can pick a new present or steal #2 or steal #1's present and so on....we set a limit that a gift can only be stolen 3 times, once it is stolen 3 times it is dead and that person gets to keep that gift. It's a lot of fun, and there have been many years when I have just gone after the very gift that I brought! LOL Anyways, then she can go after her own gift if she wants to, or if she sees something else that she wants, she can do that! This has really helped to cut our expenses....

Hope that one of these ideas will work for you!

Merry Christmas! ~ Janine

My thought is kind of related to your question. I just wanted to comment that if your mother-in-law loves to go overboard and give gifts why not let her? I love giving, I really don't worry about being fair because I give what I want. If what I get is inexpensive or little, it doesn't matter to me, what matters is how I feel when I give my gift to that person. It sounds like your mother-in-law feels the same. Christmas is not about giving gifts just to give gifts and be fair, it is about giving. If you mother-in-law enjoys giving a lot and isn't unhappy with what she gets in return who cares if she goes overboard. Let her enjoy her Christmas season her way. I just wanted to comment on that. Have a merry Christmas and God bless. Sorry, I didn't see the Walmart comment. That takes some nerve. I would still let her go overboard and give what you can and tell her if she doesn't like it there is a gift receipt enclosed. Good luck. Again, sorry, I missed that she can be not a gracious receiver. Sorry

This probably sounds mean, but what about a book on manners and being grateful for the things we are given by the people who love us, maybe something to help her learn APPRECIATION!!! You can wrap it with a ball of yarn for her crafts!!