My first grader gets nauseous and sometimes vomits when things upset her. This happened last year on school mornings when she was having trouble adjusting to kindergarten. Recently, it happened over going to the eye dr (she hates dilation drops), the dentist and the pediatrician. Yesterday she was going to go with a friend and her M. to the mall. She was waiting for them by the door talking and joking and then went to the bathroom and threw up. She did not seem at all upset prior and was excited to go. She told me later that she was nervous going without me. She does things with this friend and without me there often so I was surprised this was her reason. She was fine the rest of the night playing and ate a good dinner. I have never let her being "sick" get her out of going to school or the drs. so I don't see it as manipulative. I have talked to her about the thoughts she has that make her feel sick because I realize she is working herself up. Does anyone else have a child that does/did this? Has anything you have done or said helped?
My wifes daughter goes through this (6 yrs old). We have learned to
un-hype the impending event. If we talk it up or make a big deal out of it.. here comes the barf. I feel for her... and you. Good Luck.
My daughter doesn't throw up, but when she's nervous, she always complains that her stomach hurts and frequently cries because of it. The only thing I try to do is anticipate the nerve racking situations ahead of time and try to talk her through it beforehand. Usually I hug her and try to give her the thumbs up right before she has to go into the situation.
She competes in gymnastics and always has a "stomach ache" and cries before she competes. I've learned to have a long talk with her ahead of time about how she'll do fine and I'm proud of her no matter what. For things like doctor or dentist, I tell her that millions of kids go to the doctor or dentist and they all do fine...that usually puts her a little at ease.
I personally was a very nervous child. I did not throw up but I felt crummy and afraid in new situations. Sounds like you are handling it well and gently pushing her along. I think that will help her to learn to deal with her anxiety as she grows.
I would file this in the back of my mind though and keep a watch. She is young, but not too young for an anxiety disorder. Keep a watch. If you think she is not coping well get her evaluated. I hate to give meds to children, but I have a sister that claims her childhood was awful because she needed an antidepressant and was never happy.
There are herbal remedies that might help your daughter as well. Nutrition is very important to combat anxiety. Be sure your child is eating well and taking a good vitamin supplement. Lecithin and extra vitamin C might be a consideration. If you would like a link to some great kids vitamins shoot me a message.
Best!
My niece who is 6 is like this. She still does stuff but sometimes throws up before. My sister says it helps if she really talks to her about the activity beforehand. Talks about the anxiety and talks about things she can do to make herself feel better. I would not make a big deal about her throwing up. Sounds like she is coping pretty well with that. I think she will eventually develop ways to calm herself down but she will prob. always have a bit of a nervous stomach.
It sounds like you've had many good responses. I just wanted to add my own experience with the same situation. My son, now 6, used to get so worked up over similar appointments and events. For the past 6 months I've been using a combination of reaction techniques and the Bach Flower Remedy called "Rescue Remedy" both bringing complete success. Here is a link to other testimonials, as you scan through them you may note many moms have had wonderful results- as well as the M.'s themselves! http://www.bachflower.com/success.htm
The reaction techniques are 1)Acknowledging the child's fears (not confirming them, but offering a hug & saying "I can see your upset right now, many kids feel upset over going to the Dr. "(or whatever). This provides a sense of comfort without adding to the fear. Many times parents end up making a bigger deal out of the situation which add & confirms a reason to be fearful. 2)Point out the positives. Explain the reason for the dilating drops- many kids respond much better when they can better understand what is happening AND why. Inform you sweetie that the drops allow the doc to see into her eyes much better so that he can keep her eyes healthy, further the explanation as she requests or as far as she seems attentive to it. Keep your tone calm, factual & positive. 3)If she is only doing this with you, and not while with friends, it could be a bit of a power struggle. If this is the case you should tell her in advance what you expect: "I know your ready to be a big girl and show the Doc and me how healthy your eyes are..." Then gloss over the details and drop it. In a power struggle, the more you make from it, the more her fire will be fueled. Again, I did all of these in combination with the all-natural Bach Flower Remedy. She is learning & feeling new emotions & will conquer them quickly if given the right tools. :) Good luck!
She might benefit from breathing exercises.
My guess is she's producing a lot of adrenaline when she gets excited, nervous, or anxious. I get nauseated when I have a surge of adrenaline.
Breathing in for 3-4 slow counts through her nose (making sure it's her belly expanding and not her chest), holding for 3-4 slow counts, then blowing out through her mouth for 3-4 slow counts, pausing for 3-4 slow counts and then repeating.
If her adrenaline is getting the best of her, she's probably not getting enough oxygen. Slow, "belly breathing" could help.
I was like this as a child! I was a swimmer and before a lot of my meets, I would get sick from nerves...and now as an adult, I do get anxious about things, which makes me grumpy cause I am stressed. I wish I could give you a sure fire fix, but my advice would be to help her learn to deal w/ her stress and anxiety now, so as an adult, she'll have a better handle on it! You may need to do some research or even talk to a therapist on coping mechanisms for her...I know that sounds drastic, but take it from a former nervous child, being an anxious adult is no fun! (I get anxious over the dumbest things too! Like not finding my daughters friends house or having to drive in an area I've never been to.) Anyway, teach her to not sweat the small stuf!!!! The earlier she learns this, the more relaxed she'll be later!
Yes my friends grandaughter. She just lets her throw up and moves on.
Like your daughter, she eats fine etc. I think it is just the anticipation. Some
kids are worriers some are not. I think as she gets older it will get better.
I was an anxiety barfer. I only got it under control when I had my first child. I guess hyperemesis gravidarium and learning every possible way to try to control vomiting was the only thing that helped me.
When my anxiety is through the roof, I still get nauseated and can feel it wanting to come up. I have to use the tricks I learned during my pregnancies to control the nausea and vomiting reflex. I also use methods I've learned in therapy over the years to try to control the anxiety itself. The therapy more than anything is what helps, to be honest.
I would suggest taking your daughter to a therapist. This isn't to say that I think she's mentally ill or having so many problems she needs someone to talk it out with (although she could, so who knows) but she may have an anxiety disorder that needs to be identified and a therapist can help her learn coping skills so that these incidents are reduced.
This sounds a bit odd for sure. Most kids have no concept of their body reacting to stress like yours does. How mature she sounds. I would sit down and talk to her. There may be peer pressures you are unaware of that are making her uncomfortable. Even kids this age are doing things that they know are wrong. They can start taking things, making fun of other people while walking around the mall, all kinds of petty little things that are making your daughter uncomfortable. She may still like these friends but be unhappy about some of their actions. I would talk to her and tell her she can tell you anything.
My daughter had a friend that was/is the same way. She was like this when we met her in kindergarten. They are in 10th grade now. The little girl never got the help that she needed and got worse. She started cutting and having bipolar issues. I am not saying that this is the same thing. I do think that your daughter should see a therapist though. It could help. Especially if there is that tiny chance that this anxiety could get out of hand as a teen.
My child doesn't, but when I get really nervous, (Like right before I fly) I can't eat or I get really nauseated. Poor kid....
