What Is Expected from a Mother's Helper?

What wonderful fun! My daughter since the age of a 9 has been "helping" out the new moms in the neighbourhood. She is now 12 and has many babysitting jobs because of it.

Her responsibility was to "play", play with the baby if the other kids needs a bath or to be fed, or play with the other kids while baby is being tended to. One mom was brilliant and she had planned play time with each child when my daughter came over (she has 3 kids).
My daughter earned $5 an hour and even though she said she would do it for free, I INSISTED she take the money. Children need to understand that their time is valuable, that they are "worth" getting paid. If as a parent you decide to have them use that money for something special, or to save it, that is up to you. It is not illegal to pay a child. It is actually encouraged. The earlier kids have an understanding of money the better.

It is very important for you and her and the new mom to sit down and have a quick discussion about expectations. How long will she stay? What are her responsibilities? Treat it like a "job" and teach her that she will be responsible, it's not just a time to play. She is only 9 after all.

Have fun with it!

B.
Family Success Coach

I think it depends on many things, the ages of the kids involved, what kind of "help" is actually expected, etc.
Since your daughter is only 9 she will probably only be expected to play with the 3 year old, and maybe help with snack or lunch, and clean up. Since you are already friends with the mom I think it would be great to sit down together and decide what's appropriate.
After that, the mom can sit down with your daughter and discuss her duties and pay. Let your daughter do that without you, she will feel very grown up and responsible discussing her new "job" with another adult :)

$5 per hour at most, IMHO.
I think she should work at the mom's direction, e.g. "play with son while baby and I take a nap" or make a snack. And the 9 yo can help the LO pick up toys when they are done. Not major cleaning. Maybe hold/watch the baby so mom can go to the bathroom.

I was a mother's helper when I was younger (part of our culture) I can't help with pricing though because it was free service and I didn't mind because I was just happy being around the new baby. You are right, your daughter would help a lot with the older sibling. I also helped with dishes and light picking up of the home. When the mother had to cook I kept an eye on the baby (she only had that one child), fed her and stuff. Mom was able to shower without fear of the baby being in bed alone. It's an awesome experience. Maybe a form of birth control for your daughter in realizing that taking care of a child or children is hard work.

Hi,
I just started using a mommy's helper a few months ago - my neighbor who is 12. She's obviously older than 9 and I feel comfortable with her giving my 2 toddlers a bath and getting them in their PJs and reading them books, playing with them, etc. We are her first family to give her this kind of job so I try to teach her things so she can gain experience and get into babysitting once she's ready. There is a babysitting course here in the South Bay (LA area) and she took the class - a lot of the girls do that here. At age 9 I would think it's just playing with the kids so mommy gets a little break to do stuff around the house. I would encourage your 9 year old to see this as "training" and ask questions so she can be ready to babysit in a few years.
We pay ours $3 an hour. I talked to her Mom about what to pay her so it is still in line with what they pay her for chores, etc. If I ever stepped out and left her alone (which I wouldn't do during bathtime) I'd pay her $5/hr.

Well, the two 9 yr old mother's helpers I had, (who begged me to let them come over), played with my cat, showed my kids bad youtube videos, followed me around the house and actually made more work for me to do and whined for snacks. One had NO boundaries and would even follow me into the bathroom, I had to request her to leave so I could pee.. so I'm guessing that is what they aren't supposed to do! They are pretty much supposed to just keep the kids entertained and help out a little bit, nothing major. Give them some ground rules and expectations, they need lots of direction!!

Their mother's wouldn't allow me to pay them due to their age and it technically being illegal to pay them for service so young, so we bartered. I'm a jewelry designer, so I gave them some cute jewelry and some little shoes and trendy purses and stuff, I took one out to lunch. They loved it.

I hired a girl in our neighborhood to play with my 3 year old and the only expectation I had was to play with her and have fun. I had just had my son and was sooooo tired and cranky, so it was a relief for me to know that she was having fun, and I wasn't extirely responsible for entertaining her. I paid the neighbor $5.00 per time and had her come over twice a week. It's a win-win for everyone involved.

Enjoy!!

Since she's only nine, it probably won't have much to do with caring for the baby - I would assume she would be there to entertain and help the 3 year old so mom can take care of the baby and perhaps even keep an eye on the baby (probably while he/she is sleeping) so mom can get some things done (like go to the bathroom and take a shower). I think it will be a wonderful experience for your daughter and the money just an added bonus. I know my 9 year old GD would give ANYTHING to be asked to do that!