What Do Think About Skipping Halloween?

Well I LOVE Halloween but maybe these kids don't care, maybe they would rather have the money.
Kind of hard to form an opinion not knowing this vital missing information, and yet six people have already done so.
Hello internet :-(

there's nothing that could make me do that. although i celebrate samhain separately as a spiritual observance, i also LOVE halloween and so do my kids. even as adults they always celebrate it.
this sounds way too scrooge-y for me.
khairete
S.

I think that is lazy parenting. That is what I think of that. Because SHE doesn't want to deal with costumes, candy she is going to pay her kids not to go? I think that is one of the dumbest things I have ever heard. Its hard enough being a kid nowadays. Why would you not let them have some kid fun? Seriously, adults ruin everything for kids today. GRRRR!!!

Well, there's a boat load of moms who don't even let their kids eat candy, burgers, hot dogs, etc. So to each their own. I think if she offers it to the kids and they say yes, then who cares? I think it's a great idea! I may offer each kid $20 and a bag of their favorite candy and call it a day...thanks for the great idea!

I hate Halloween. I don't blame her. Wouldn't do it, but.... Bah humbug.

Eta - to everyone saying "why bother kids" - did you only have kids so you could celebrate childhood traditions? Of course not. So why ask such a stupid question. And how is it not respecting children by not having them take candy from strangers and celebrate with grotesque, gruesome images? I prefer celebrating life and health. My kids eat candy, but I hate the idea that theyre consuming large quantities from strangers. We've always participated, but like other holidays, it's so ridiculously commercial there's no fun in it for me anymore. Besides - I grew up in the country where there were a whopping 5 houses in walking distance. I would come home with literally a few pieces of candy, some pennies, and an apple. I survived just fine and to me, that was a much healthier approach. My kids do everything their peers do, and I don't say a word. But I hate it, every year.

I wrote a long response, but gave too much personal information for this site. I just wonder, why can't we live and let live? Instead of picking apart this mom, why can't we just assume the best about her?
You love Halloween and that's okay. Some people don't love it and that's okay.

Wow, some of these responses are awful. There is so much more to parenting than taking kids trick or treating. Our church partners with our town's trick or treat street event and there are scores of kids brought to our event whose parents can take the time to stuff them in a costume and bring them trick or treating, but can't be bothered to take care of their kids when they are sick, or can't leave the casino long enough to make sure their little girl doesn't have to wear the same pee soaked clothes to school each day, or can't bear to turn in the boyfriend who repeatedly rapes her 5 year old because she doesn't want to be alone. But hey, at least these parents provide the magic of Halloween.

If that is what she prefers, but I feel sorry for her kids. We love halloween. We make our own costumes so the cost is never very much and the kids get a chance to really use their imaginations. We of course do the secular parts of the holiday, but for us it is also one of our religions most sacred holidays, a time to honor all our ancestors who came before us and pay homage to our dead. It is a time for family and friends to come together.

I think if her kids are open to getting paid to not participate in Halloween, then good for her. I used to love Halloween, but as the years went on, it became more and more of a chore. My kids are teens now, so they go to Halloween parties instead of trick-or-treating. The only thing they need from me is a ride...I'll admit, it's kinda nice. Her kids are 8 and 11 - that was pretty much the same ages my kids were when I started getting sick of it all. Before that, I would have said "She's a grump!", but now, I really understand how she feels.

I thoroughly enjoy Halloween too. I love the whole getting to pretend for an evening thing.

I love making crafts this time of year and decorating and making party plans. We have community activities the whole week before Halloween too. We have a huge party at church for the kids so they don't have to go out door to door and take risks on items from strangers but we still go to a couple of blocks after that party.

Our girl is 11 so this will probably be her last year to go to a "trick or treat" sort of activity. If we had any of the other grand kids that are younger then she could dress up and take them while we follow along in the car.

I think it's sad this woman's kids can't decide to make their own costumes and figure out what to do on their own. We haven't had to "buy" anything other than a tube of costume make up for $.99 at Walmart in varying colors. The kids, even the 8 year old, always dresses up on their own with their own clothes and fabric scraps.

She is being incredibly selfish. If money is an issue she can get costumes at places like Goodwill, and candy at the dollar stores.
Halloween is a holiday kids look forward too as much as Christmas, so much more fun for kids than Thanksgiving. I would par down on Thanksgiving and New Years and let have happy Halloween memories.

I think it's lazy, selfish and miserable. This is parenting - this is the job she signed up for when deciding to have kids. I hope she comes to her senses or that the kids have a dad in their life who will step up to her. What a shame.

Ugh I am not a big fan of Halloween either and I hate the hassle of "what to be".

But I would never deprive my kids of the costume and trick or treating. They would probably harbor bad feelings about not being allowed to do what their peers got to do for years.

Plus how hard is it really guys? Especially in this day and age when a costume can be purchased on Amazon and at my doorstep in two days? A quick trip around the block with a pillowcase for the kid and warm beverage for mom and all is said and done. Please.

(I hate when people are so "all or nothing" in their thinking- Halloween doesn't have to be at the "We LOVE Halloween!" level or bust.... decorations and treats and parties and dry ice haunted houses and parties and the BEST costume ever.... just cut two holes in a sheet and call it a day lady!)

Pretty sure my kids would have made that bargain with me, like brought it to me, if they thought I would say yes. They really don't like freezing to death but they sure like candy.

Halloween is a pretty quiet night for us and always has been -- we get almost no trick-or-treaters on our tiny side street though we always have something ready for the handful who might come. My daughter is older and has always had fun making costumes but most of her celebrating is at her dance studio's Halloween party now, and at a school bingo/Halloween party years ago....

But even though Halloween is not a huge decorated candy-fest for us -- wow, I'd never dream of paying my kid NOT to do anything! A kid should have a chance to participate if he or she wants to trick or treat; maybe this mom is forgetting that she does control how long they're out, where they can go, and what happens to candy afterward. Maybe she's forgotten that she can say no to store-bought costumes if she doesn't want to shop, and she can send the kids to find things around the house to make something. If they whine and want shiny store-bought costumes, well, that might be a sign that they feel they have to keep up with their friends and/or she has been buying them whatever costumes they want for too long already. She can control whether her kids get out of that groove and they can still do some Halloween things

It also seems like a terrible precedent to pay a child not to do something. Where does
that end?

Halloween is so much fun for kids. I think it's sad you heard someone saying that! You don't have to spend a lot of money...just raid the old costume chest, a thrift store, or borrow stuff. The thrift store near us is bursting with costumes. My kids both put together their costumes this year with stuff they already had...and they are both so excited. My daughter wants to be a ninja warrior Elsa princess. She borrowed warrior stuff and a sword from her brother and is wearing the armor etc over the princess dress. She is going to look awesome by the way! My son wants to be an IRS auditor to scare all the adults...he is hilarious. I did go buy some iron on letters to put on the back of his old jacket. He is going to carry around a clipboard wearing a button down shirt, tie, jacket with the words IRS AUDIT TEAM on the back, and an old fedora on his head. We also might pin on fake money coming out of his pockets. How much did I spend...$6. I would have bought them more if they wanted it but that is just what they both wanted this year.

We never were big on trick or treating.
We use to go to a Halloween parade in Leesburg in costume and get lots of candy that way - which was safer than going door to door - and everyone enjoyed seeing everyone s costumes.
I have to wonder why that lady bothered having kids if she gets bored by doing holiday things.
10 years from now she can stay home and watch a movie and no one will care.

I do object in some ways to the endless commercialization by the candy industry. So I get that part of it. We have some kids in our neighborhood with diabetes and other health issues, so many of us give out other things. I do a lot of Halloween-themed pencils, spider rings, stickers/fake tattoos, that sort of thing. For the oldest kids, I have the snack size bags of pretzels - no sugar, and not the worst snack in the world. They come in bat shapes so they're sort of Halloween-themed.

I also understand the financial pressure of buying costumes. Again, I think she's missing the boat here. Her kids are completely old enough to take on the responsibility of creating their own costumes, either from materials at home or from thrift shops and so on. We made many costumes over the years - some were ridiculously labor intensive (a T-rex costume I sewed) and some were out of cardboard boxes and miscellaneous hardware (robot). The family fun time to prepare these was the real benefit.

I also respect people who don't participate in Halloween for religious reasons, and I think we need to be aware of that. So if someone is downplaying Halloween for that reason, that's fine. I'm not saying that's what your friend is doing, but I think it's worth keeping it in mind when we're hyping the holiday as something everyone needs to be part of.

Friends of mine have discovered "the Halloween Fairy" who collects all the leftover candy after the kids select a few of their favorites to keep, and the Fairy leaves toys/books instead. The Fairy and many of the rest of us donate our excess candy to local dentists who collect it and send it to the troops overseas or in rehab hospitals.

I think this woman's 11 year old will age out of the holiday very soon. I have a friend who is a single mom with a near-useless ex husband who just got laid off. She's not happy about the expense of providing candy to all the neighbors and I think she'll keep her lights turned off this year, and I think that's okay.

I do think there are things your friend can do to make it more manageable, starting with making the kids responsible for creating their own costumes rather than them dragging her to a store for the most expensive things out there. And I think she can get an order of cheap toys from Oriental Trading to give kids stickers and erasers rather than candy, and donate her kids' excess candy to deployed service members to feel better. Maybe she just needs a little help in figuring out how to adapt some unmanageable aspects to more sensible things.
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ETA - I got a private message from someone who reminded me that pretzels turn to sugar. So I'm clarifying - yes, like all white flour products, they convert to sugar. However, they are low fat, and they won't poison the family dog like chocolate does, and they don't stain the carpet if they get dropped. They're not a health food, for sure. It's something to hand out so the older kids - who are too old for Halloween but haven't accepted it yet - don't decide to egg my house because I just gave them erasers and stickers!) But thanks for the reminder that pretzels are still junk food and something that diabetics need to keep an eye on.

We love Halloween so much so I just can't image doing this!

If her kids want the money, I don't think it's a big deal. My son stopped wanting to go trick or treating by the time is was about 8 or 9... He's never been a big candy eater and once he got older, the costume idea no longer appealed to him. However if the person's children wanted to go out, then I would feel bad for the kids.. on the other hand, I don't think not going out is the worst thing that can happen.

Okay I just can't get past that your kids are in snow suits and mittens and you live in Beverly Hills???? Ok!

That mom sounds like a whole lotta no fun. If she's willing to pay her kids not to do it it sounds like it isn't a money issue so she's just a scrooge.

We don't do Halloween. So there is no need to bribe the children. Also we NEVER let the inmates run our asylum. We make the rules and the kids live with the rules we have made. End of story. So I think it is fine but I don't need to pay my kids to do or not do whatever I ask of them because I'm the parent. If the kids are unhappy about a rule I have put in place, they can talk to me but not whine about it. If they can come up with a valid argument my mind can be changed but often their reasonings don't trump my logic.

So sad, they are still young. I remember Halloween fondly. Poor kids. Going 6 times before isn't the
point...you go every year until you are too old to go.

I think that is just being lazy. My daughter has so much fun on Halloween and enjoys going out to see decorations and getting candy (even though she gives most of the candy away).

I have many Christian friends that do not celebrate Halloween, but they do have fall festivals at their churches. The kids will dress up as biblical characters or in friendly costumes and have fun.

Do you think this has anything to do with some areas canceling Halloween? I have seen a couple of articles where the towns/school districts will not allow anything to do with the holiday so that people who do not participate do not get offended.

I bribed my younger kid to skip the magazine-sales school fundraising this year by taking him to Dollar Tree and letting him buy 'prizes'. (I donated direct cash to the school. I just didn't want to bother with the fundraiser.) He was thrilled to death with this proposition. I guess my determining factor about TOT would be if the woman's kids liked the idea or not.

My husband and I both love Halloween. This year I had to scale back on our yard decor due to life circumstances eating up my time, but I still got a few things up. :-)

My kids love trick-or-treating. One son found a $3 Storm Trooper helmet at Goodwill and will be wearing a white shirt with an armor pattern on it over black thermals. Our oldest is using a lab coat we already own, printing a logo from the internet, and bought a plastic crowbar and striped tie from Goodwill to dress up as Dr. Gordon Freeman from Half-Life. Did I mention these were teenagers who are taller than me?

I wouldn't pay my kids to not do something. If I didn't want them to do it, I would just tell them that they were not allowed to do it.
At eight, I was putting together my own costumes using mostly stuff I already had because money was tight and neither my mom nor I sewed.
Candy can be gotten cheaply at the dollar store.

I think it's one of the most dumbest things I've ever heard/read. Is she going to pay them for Not having Thanksgiving next and then what, let's see, Independence Day, Christmas, etc. etc. If she's so set on not doing it, own it and deal with the kid's reactions and come up with something else. Talk about a lazy cop out. Lame excuse for a .....

I personally believe you shouldn't pay children for anything, (although there may be a rare exception once in a blue moon) it makes them appreciate money and earn money on their own volition and at the appropriate time. My children were never paid to do anything, we're in this together after all. Yet, as they grew they all earned their own money and completely on their own decision. What this woman is even worse than paying kids to do a chore or job around the house. This is maddening and she's opening a can of worms. She is giving emptiness to her children. When no values have been lived out in the life as children, there will be no value given to you when they leave and you're wanting and or needing them to do something for you. We have to think of the principles we're living and what the children are gaining from the life their living, what is the message?