What Bedtimes Do You Have?

My kids are 3 and 4. My oldest just started preschool in September. Until that point bedtime was generally 9:00. My husband wouldn't be home from work until 6 or 6:30. We would eat and then he could have some time with the kids before we started the bedtime routine. On occasion it would be 9:30 or 10:00. I didn't really like putting them to bed that late but sometimes they weren't cooperative, sometimes I was lazy, and sometimes I allowed flexibility for special events. My kids would sleep until around 9-9:30 in the morning. Also, I am a SAHM so I didn't need a rigid schedule. Had I worked, I would have opted for a different kind of schedule. Now they are in bed at 8:00 because I get them up at 8:00 for preschool. Sometimes they get cranky around 7 or 7:30 so on those days I put them to bed at that time. I have always insisted on naptme - even if they don't sleep. I feel they need downtime and the opportunity to sleep. I also need time to myself to relax, clean, etc. So we have naptime from 1:30 until about 3:00.

Hi J.,

I put my daughter(who is 4) to bed around 10 and she normally doesn't wake up until 9 or 10 in the morning if she doesn't have school. She also takes about a 2 hour nap every afternoon around 3 to about 5, so a ten bedtime isn't that bad. If she doesn't put up a fight I wouldn't change a routine you have in place.

Hi J.,
It seems like your daughter is on the right schedule for her. Obviously she needs the sleep or she wouldn't be sleeping that much! My son is almost 6 and I try to have him in bed by 9:00 or so. This may change in the fall when he starts first grade. Right now he has p.m. Kindergarten so there is "wiggle room" in our mornings. Do what works for YOUR child and YOU. Every kid is different!
Enjoy your time in the evenings that you have to yourself!

My children had what I would call "usual" sleep schedules when they were little. By age 2, we mostly were winding the day down at 7:00 p.m. for them. That meant no high energy activity, then winding into baths, stories, bedtime by about 8:00. Both of my sons were good nappers, too, and even at age 2 had short naps of about an hour in the morning with a longer nap in the afternoon. I used to worry that they slept too much, in fact! It seemed that none of my friends had 2 year olds who took two naps, and of course I worried that my children were spending so much time unconscious that they weren't getting enough stimulation and would not develop normally. They turned out just fine, though! I have to say, that right up until their junior year in high school, I did insist that they be in their rooms by 10:00 p.m. I didn't make them actually fall asleep, but I wanted them in their rooms (not tv or computer by the way) to basically give me and my husband some time to mentally unwind at the end of the day. Believe me, it's not so hard to get a teenage boy to retreat to his room away from his parents, so it was never an issue!
Now, they are 18 and 20, and when they are home from college, they laugh at their "old" parents who can barely make it to 11:00 p.m. before going to sleep. There are nights when I'm in bed at 9:00 now!
In the big picture, in my opinion, doesn't make a difference. As long as the child gets adequate sleep. Later on, when you are dealing with school routines, you won't be able to be quite so flexible, but you'll figure out what will work for your family.

It all depends on what time you want your child up and what time you want your day to get started.

My children used to go to bed at 11 PM but wouldn't get up until approximately 10AM (and wouldn't nap during the day - their choice). They would get the sleep they needed because they woke on their own. I did not wake them. (I had no hard and fast schedule to abide by.)

Morning kindergarten changed our whole schedule around since my oldest has to be at the bus stop around 8 so now her bedtime is 8 but she often doesn't fall asleep until 9 and is typically up before 7. While she doesn't need all of that sleep it is 'available to her'.

Truly I miss the later schedule because before I never has to rush them home to get them to bed. We could be out and about and not have to worry about 'bedtime'.

It's all a personal choice of how you want your household to run. If you want to be out the door before 8 then you will have to have an earlier bedtime. If it doesn't matter then you can keep a schedule that suits your family.

my 7 almost 8 year old goes to bed at about 7:30-8:00

my 9 year old about 9:00 ish.

they get up for school at 6:40, on the bus at 7:08.

Our son is 18 months old and his bedtime is 7:30. Some nights he may be cranky and need to go to bed earlier and some nights he gets to stay up until 8 if he's being pleasant:) He usually sleeps about 12 hours. I wonder if these other moms do this in hopes that their children will sleep in later in the morning? I definitely feel they could be setting themselves up for trouble when they reach school age. If that bedtime is working for you and your family, don't question it! I'm sure you've noticed how nice routine is and how well they respond. Don't second guess yourself. Young children are unable to make those decisions on their own. Toddlers staying up until 10 seems a bit nuts. When do they get quiet couple time??
Stick with your gut and enjoy your evenings:)

Hi J.

I have an almost 4 year old that goes to bed at about 8:30, My 18 month old at 8pm and the little guy (4months) falls asleep at about 9pm. They all sleep until about 8am. The younger 2 take naps every day and my oldest takes a nap if he is especially cranky in the afternoon, if he naps he is then up until ungodly hours at night... I am flexible though, over the past week we've been out until late and there have been missed naps and such but they have started falling back into our routine. What's important about bedtime (in my opinion) is that it works for your family and they get enough sleep.

My son is 9mos. old. He has slept thru the night maybe 4 times in his life, so I am still trying to figure out the whole bedtime thing. I think what you're doing is a great time/routine, I would love to be able to put him to bed at 6:30! DOn't get home til 6 though, so there goes that idea. Anyway, right now he goes to bed at 7:30. He will sometimes sleep until 3am or so and only half wake for a diaper change, then sleep til about 6 (on a great night). He naps twice a day, usually abouy 1.5hrs. each (again, on a great day!). My parents watch him 4 days a week, and sometimes he will not nap there. That causes an issue since he is so tired and then will sleep on the way home (meaning he wakes up at 5:30-6pm!).
Anyway, you are very lucky to have such a great sleeper. Enjoy it! :)

Thank your lucky stars! I have an all-nighter. He is 6 years old and he stays up forever. We have tried everything since he was born. We have tried music, reading, warm bath.......I mean everything. We asked the pediatrician what he thought and he said that there are some children that are just made that way. He told us just to continue putting him to bed at a regular time every night and shut the door. If he gets out of bed, just put him back in it. Needles to say we make a lot of trips up and down the stairs every night. A lot of times, I know we fall asleep before him. He even started school this fall for kindergarten full-time. He is still the same way. Hopefully for us some day he'll grow out of this. I don't think you put your child to bed to early. It sounds like you know when she needs it. Each child is different, bedtimes are different. I remember when my daughter was 3 months old she was sleeping throught the night. I asked the pediatrician if that was normal, because I thought she should wake for a feeding or two. My pediatrician said "If that baby is tired let her sleep. When she is ready, she will wake." Your baby is still so young, let her sleep, keep your sanity and enjoy her while she is awake!

my youngest (15 months) takes a nap from about 11am-230 pm, then he goes to bed around 7pm every night..it's a wonderful thing! but my other kids (all 4) are put up to bed at 9pm but the tv must go off at 10. i feel that that is plenty of sleep time for them. and even on school days they still get up at 7am for me, and then the baby gets up around the same time...so for us that works out.
i think the schedule you have is good, in my opinion..

I really think that 6:30 is early. Is she still taking a nap during the day? She would not get cranky that early if she had a nap. I don't even get dinner on the table until 6:30 :-)

This is a great question. I'm anxious to see your responses. And before i start, i ask that people be kind and respectful of each other. I have always had BAD sleepers and feel that bedtimes and naps have been a constant stuggle since day one.
I have a 5 year old and a 3 year old. Just with in the last year, has my 5 year old started sleeping through the night with out 3 or 5 am wake ups. I didn't do anything different so i think it was just a maturity thing. My 4 year old still will have a minimum of 2 nights a week where she wakes at some ungodly hours. Sometimes if I ignore it she goes back to sleep herself, sometimes she doesn't.
Prescshool starts for us at 8:30 so it has helped to have the set wake up time of 7:30.
Until this month, both kids have been required to have a nap or quiet time. I would begin our routine at 1pm but sometimes it was 2 or later that the younger child fell asleep. The old one left to himself would usually fall asleep too but more around 3. I would always try to wake them by 3:30 if they didn't wake on their own. This is so tough to admit, but i would often fall sleep myself, while sitting with the younger one. I'm exhausted and totally unable to spend 2 hours cleaning my house or crafting like it seems other moms are able to do while their cherubs nap.
I've begged for hubby to be home for dinner at 5:30 but it never lasts and it's chronically 6 or 7 pm before he walks in the door. He loves his kids and wants to spend time with them. We discussed repeatedly when they were younger how bed time needed to be earlier and again he would vow to take over the bedtime routine, only to have evening meetings several nights in a row and some how i was back on duty. Plus the kids perferred me to him, because of the incosistency. No mean comments please because i did all i could to encourage his involvement.
So long story short bed time on bath nights starts at 7. 7:30 on non bath nights, jammies, tooth brush, three stories and then the ..... don't even know what to call it. All you mothers that just walk out and shut the door and aren't called back for drinks of water, blanket adjustments or what ever they invent at the moment, I don't know how you do it! In my best guess, because i don't stay in the room until they are completely asleep, i would say my youngest is asleep by 9 or 9:30 and the oldest by 10:30 sometimes 11 if he's had an extra long nap. I know!!!! 11 is not ok!!
We are doing way with naps for everyone, due to the busyiness of the holidays it's been ok, but I am very scared about how it will be when we are back on a normal schedule.
and i'll also add that i would like to spend time with Hubs, but on nights that the kids don't sleep until 10 I end up staying up past midnight, cleaning or talking with him. Which is just a vicious cycle that exhausts me.
So i'm not really asking for advice, just explaining that in our family, This is how it is.
I would be curious to know if you put your preschoolers to bed at 6pm. when does their father play with them?? And what time are they awake by??
Thanks