Very Clingy 3-Yr. Old

The things that you want to do around the house, include her. I know at times it is not very easy to do! But for example, when I had to do dishes, and a few things in the kitchen, I use to set my daughter on the counter (farther back so she wasn't close to the edge), so she could be right next to me while I did the dishes. When you want to read the newpaper, or a book, make it exciting...such as putting a blanket on the floor, and both of you sit down to read. Give her some of her own books, or if she is jealous about you having the paper...give her a section that you don't care to read, or are done with and let her have fun with (even maybe drawing all over it with crayons or something). I do know what you feel like though...both of my daughters were like that from the start...and the would just cry if dad held them! There were many times I had to go to the bathroom wearing a snuggly! It does get to you, but just keep in mind that it wont last forever...and just try to get creative about how you include her so that she wont feel like she is missing out on something mom is doing.
K.

Can you figure out ways for her to help you do the chores you need to do? Maybe if she is folding socks, she won't be so clingy and you can get some things done. It's still annoying when you just want to get things done, but my son helps me do everything and it keeps him occupied a little better than just hanging on my legs like he used to do.

If she won't let you read the paper, try giving her a book or the classifieds to "read" while you read. Make it an event you can do together. As for the cooking, explain to her that she will get big booboos if she doesn't stay away from the stove. Give her the plates and napkins and silverwear to set the table as her job to help mommy. My 3 year old was like that until I gave her more responsiablility and now she is a big helper when I am trying to cook. She sets the table and gets the dogs bowls out so we can all eat dinner together. It makes her feel like she is doing something other than annoying me.

My 3 year old is the same way. It happened just about when she turned 3. I can't even go into the bathroom alone (LOL) or read the paper either. Her older sister was the same way. I think it is just a phase where they have separation anxiety. My older one got over it but I can't remember exactly when. All I can say is it doesn't last forever. My 3 year old is also not as clingy with her Dad.

I have my first business trip on Thursday. It will be interesting to see what happens while I'm gone.

Good luck,
M.

First, congratulations on being the kind of parent their kid wants to be with. You will be thankful that you established a strong bond at this time as your daughter grows up and begins to face life's harder challenges. She'll want to turn to you in hard times, and that goes a long way to developing an emotionally healthy person. In two years, your daughter will be off to kindergarten and establishing friendships, and you may find yourself longing for the days when she only had eyes for you.

Second, she's now old enough to "help" you with the chores, and what perfect opportunities to both bond and teach. Time to cook? Let her don a little apron, put a big bowl on the kitchen table and make "soup" with leftover ingredients. Or play with any kitchen sets she might have. Laundry? Perfect opportunity to practice sorting colors. Get her a little laundry basket and have her help you take the clothes to the laundry room. Let her dump the soap in the machine (perfect opportunity to teach her the dangers of soap). Teach her hot for whites, cold for darks, etc. Vaccuuming? Break out a retro sweeper and let her have at it.

Third, can dad read a book to her or take her to the library while you are catching a breather? Can he teach her how to play a game (she's old enough for Memory, Candyland, Chutes and Ladders) or use the computer? There are some fun educational web sites out there for kids. Our favorite is starfall.com for teaching letters and phonics.

It seems like your daughter misses you during the day. You work until 6 in the evening, and she probably wants your undivided attention with the little time she has with you at home. This too shall pass, as the saying goes. Chores and the newspaper will always be there, but she will not always be a cute three year-old. Enjoy her now.

I have a mama's girl myself - it seems to go through phases where she needs more or less mommy time. What has worked for us is that I spend some one on one time with her when we get home. Then I tell her that mommy has to get her chores done. I try and include her in what I am doing when its safe (she helps me put laundry in the washer or stands on her step stool and talks to me while I make dinner). I also do something I saw on Supernanny. I get her started on a project in a nearby room - coloring, a puzzle, etc. Once she is into the activity, I go into the other room to make dinner, etc. Hope this helps. I also think about how in a few more years she'll want me to leave her alone!

do you work allot of hours? If so how does she react when you leave at daycare or her babysitter? Have you tried not leaving her in another room but have her help you with household chores?

Try to give her little jobs to do while you are doing housework. Seeing results from her efforts may show her that she is capable of doing something important. Don't be too critical of her trials and errors! You could then give her things to do in other rooms while you are busy in one room. She is probably just beginning to realize that she is a separate individual and that is kind of scary for a child. May God bless you. You have such a wonderful opportunity in raising a little girl to adulthood.

Hi A.,

My name is E. Infantes. Is your daughter interacting with other children her age? Sometimes when children do not interact with other kids and are home along without any siblings they tend to be clingy. The reason why I ask is because, I have over 8 years experienced working with this age group. I used to be a home daycare provider and now I open a new facility in bristow and I still work with this age group. If interested let me know, but I would suggest you get her involved in activities or a program with children her age as much as possible, that way she can become more independent.

Hope this helps! E.

does she have playmates? have you ever been part of a play group? how long has it been like this?

maybe she is not getting something at daycare that she is getting from you. or maybe she has rules at daycare and knows that she can push you over when you are with her. is daddy more sturn with her? do you give in more to her requests. if she cries and cries and know you will eventually give in she is going to keep crying and begging. i have had this problem with my daughter.
good luck!

i see you work from 9 to 6. when is she clingy? i imagine she goes to bed between 7 and 8. that gives her max. 2 hrs with you. of course she will be clingy. i am all for working moms, i work too but that means less time spent with our kids and it is impossible to explain to them that mami got tired at work and now she needs to rest. it will be like this for a while. good luck