Venting..Moms That Give Their Opinion When No One Asked!

I 100% agree with Jo on this one.

I didn't send my kids to preschool until 4 years old, and I had plenty of money to do so. I didn't want to. Just because she made a comment doesn't mean she's jealous of you.

We all overreact, so no judginess from me, but I do think you're overreacting.

I LOVED sending my kids to preschool, yes because it's good for them, but it was good for me too!
She sounds petty and jealous. I actually probably would have responded with a "hell yes I'm looking forward to getting him out of the house!" He gets to have fun and you get a break, win-win.
PLEASE don't waste another minute thinking about her comment, it's not worth it.

Wow, I'm scared to answer, but yes, 2 is too young in my opinion... So, I am guilty of having an opinion.

Why do moms let other moms critiquing bother them?

My answer to your friend's question, had I been the askee:

Yep, the duct tape just isn't working anymore.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand return about my day.

Honestly, you are the one that told HER you were putting him in PS. So what is she supposed to do after you share something with her? Just say "ok" and not give her opinion, whatever it may be? If you don't want an opinion on what someone may think of you sending your son to PS, then don't tell anyone. Just my opinion but if you tell someone something, expect a back and forth conversation, even if its a snarky remark from the other person. Don't let it bother you, accept it for what it was: her opinion. Good luck!!!

Mountain, meet molehill.

As upset as you seem to be about this are you sure you weren't reading more into her comments. I don't mean this as critical since apparently you aren't in the mood for critical. It is just when I get upset over nothing it is because I am not 100% sure I am doing the right thing myself so I don't want to hear others saying I am not doing the right thing.

When my kids were little I got a lot of get them out of the house comments I just answered damn straight!

By the way my kids went to preschool at two and I was a stay at home, what can I say I think my kids needed to be around other kids. Seemed to make them more tolerant of their sibs. :) To me it was not a luxury it was part of their education. They all don't seem scarred by it.

Kiwi, your friend is jealous. She doesn't have the money for it. So she is making herself feel better about her lack of money by taking it out on you.

Some friend.

Either call her on it, or step back from the friendship. If she comes back asking you why you aren't calling her anymore, tell her why. Do it in a kind way. If you don't, ANYTHING that costs money that you do that she cannot will end up like this.

Btw, all moms don't do this. All women don't do this. I promise you.

Dawn

Totally agree with Dad.

If I reacted to every single snippy comment a friend has made I wouldn't have any left. Sometimes people are just saying what's on their mind. It isn't always about jealousy. My friend is always telling me this and that when it comes to my kids, but that's part of her personality. She's known me for 20 years so I guess she feels she can. It goes in one ear and out the other, and if I don't wanna hear it, I tell her, and we talk about something else. No muss, no fuss.

Ah, the Daily Pot And The Kettle Post!

:)

She might not have meant it like it came out. If she did, don't even let it take up your head space. We're all just trying to our best. I'm willing to be the majority of the time, women are projecting. Typically, when a person is harsh, nitpicks, inserts their opinion tactlessly...it's because of themselves, shortcomings, jealousy, hardships, etc. Also, out reactions to these things, can often put a spotlight on our own insecurities. (Not saying you are insecure about your decision, I'm just saying it happens a lot.) Really, though...it's not worth spending energy on.

Her comment is all about herself, not about you. She's trying to justify to herself that what's happening with her own child is OK. Which it is. And so is what you are doing with your child.

She's doing it because your decision is making her question her own situation.
Do what YOU feel is best for your child!

Well, would she do it if she had the money? Maybe, maybe not... you are judging her just as she is judging you. Is it like an all day thing, 5 days a week? If so, then yes, I DO agree with her. If it's just a little Mother's Day Out program for a few hours/ a few days a week, then I agree with you, the socialization and play time could be good for him, and it would also be good for you, but I also think that just turning 2, is still very, very young for that. So, it just depends, I don't know the whole story, but that's not the point... I don't think her being jealous has anything to do with it, and I think it's a cop out that people use.

As for "why" women do this? Because sometimes we see people make very stupid mistakes. Sometimes, we don't know the whole story, (or we do). Sometimes we have a differing opinion based on our own personal backgrounds/education/experience...

Also, you gave her the information and she commented back. It's not like she was prying or snooping in order to judge you.

It usually just comes down to that other person's insecurities or demons. It has nothing to do with you. Don't take someone's comments seriously...although that was not really a nice thing for her to say. Maybe she is one of those who are always putting their feet in their mouth. I have a very social 2nd child who would enjoy being in preschool. I just signed her up for one actually - it's 2 mornings a week and it just looks so fun there. Parents take turns volunteering, so I will enjoy meeting some other people too.

I agree with One and Done. A lot of people "attack" when they are unsure of thier own decisons. Also because of self esteem issues, it makes them feel better.

Well, she might not do that with her daughter if she had the money. I wouldn't, but that's me. There is more than one way to do things and I don't blame you for being annoyed at getting free advice.

It's great you didn't engage. If you feel you have to in the future you can think up a mantra. The same thing to say every time. Like, "Well, I'm sure that works for you." or "No, I don't feel the same as you do." That's it. You don't have to explain.
Good Luck with it.

"....when I told my friend about this"

There is a certain segment of humanity that when invited in they stay for a fortnight instead of just a cup of tea.

When I encounter people like this, I find that I don't share quite as much with them because they feel like anything they know is public domain.

I had a friend like this once (key word HAD). She would make snide little comments that really hurt my feelings and made me so mad. The friendship ended. I don't know why other women do this, except to say that some women are catty jealous creatures (not all, don't be offended anyone!). If a 'friend' is upsetting you with comments, she is not really a friend. Time to re-evaluate this friendship.

That is just envy.....Every mom does what she thinks is best for her kids and family. Just let her be....

If you don't want free advice, don't volunteer free information about your life choices. This probably didn't happen in a vacuum. We weren't there for the conversation. We don't know how you presented the news, but obviously you told her about your decision. Perhaps you said other things about your decision that inspired her reaction that you don't remember or realize. Or perhaps there are other things you've been saying or doing that illicited the reaction. I guess, while you have a right to be annoyed, I don't think you should be surprised. For most people, whenever you choose to impart or share information with them, consider that information fair game for comment and opinions with those you choose to share it with. And in the future, to lessen things like this happening, avoid disclosing information with others so there is no room or reason for outside opinions.

Why are you letting it bother you so much? That's your decision. If she is your friend, you both will not think alike. You do what you have to do and let it go. You are bothered by it because you feel scrutinized. It's her opinion...how you react to it is what matters. All moms give advice and opinions...thats why they have an entire website for us to do so!

Women are jealous and sometimes evil...lol And the old adage 'Misery loves company' can apply here. I remember taking my three year old son to mother's day out. He loved it and it gave me a few hours to get a few things done. He was an only child. Mother's have guilt if they do and if they don't. You don't have to answer to anyone but yourself. The funny thing is if she had the money she would be right there putting her kid in preschool. Except...she would try to one-up you and get just a little better one. lol

Life is a lot easier if you ignore the trivial petty stuff...even if she was being mean, it's probably because she's trying to justify her difficult financial position. Not having enough money is humiliating - you should feel sorry for her.
This situation will come up over and over again...honestly, I tell people as little as possible about our choices and activities. If they ask I answer, but I usually don't volunteer a lot of information...I don't really want the feedback or comments. What they don't know they can't say anything about.

You should have reacted by saying "girl if you had the money you would do the same!" LOL. I bet that would have left her wanting to post a question on Mamapedia..............

CONTINUE TO DO YOU AND YOURS!

Peace

It stems from unhappiness & insecurity & jealousy. She doesn't sound like a very positive person. I would reassess the friendship, personally.

I am all for opinions - when they are are asked for. But I don't want unsolicited advice that is fueled by negative feelings, ever.

They are jealous.
I jumped for joy when my kids went to school on the school bus!
LBC

She's jealous, period!

In through one ear, out from the other, and a dumb smile on face! :)

Well, I wish I could tell you, "Don't worry it gets better, but it doesn't." What you have to remember is you need to do what's best for you and your family. You'll always, yes always have someone to criticize and/or comment about your life. We all parent different and have our own thoughts/ideas & opinions. My husband told me best, "When other people pay your bills, then worry about what they think. If not, live your life."
We too have one child and I was a stay at home mom, but I took him to prek and he loved it. And he if fine by himself, with one friend or more.
Again, do what's best for your family! Good luck...............