Two Daughters Who Fight

Updated on March 02, 2008
L.N. asks from Fort Bragg, NC
5 answers

I have two daughters. One is 8 and the other is 5. They fight and argue all the time. I know siblings do that, but I think they do it way too much. I have tried many things, but nothing seems to work. I know they both love each other even though my 5 year old shows it more to her sister than the 8 year old. I just want them to grow up and be close. Have any ideas that could help them fight and argue less? Thanks so much!

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L.C.

answers from Charlotte on

I would have them do EVERYTHING together except for using the bathroom and bathing and sleeping.

Minute they are home from school, they are GLUE! You do homework together, clean together, watch tv together.

So when it's time to watch tv, it's not....I'M WATCHING HANNAH MONTANA...it's....lets decide what we are gonna watch TOGETHER.

Give them 21 days, I guarantee they will stop fighting.

Trust me this works, I've done it. Fighting is always gonna happen, but what a difference it's made in my home when I pulled this on them.

Good luck.

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L.L.

answers from Nashville on

My children are also 3 years apart and we went though this at that age where the 5 year old got on the 8 year olds nerves quite a bit. The only thing I can recommend is to make them do things that they have to do as a team and if someone starts a fight, punish both. We had a lot of he did this, she started it, etc etc. So I took to just punishing both for the crime and it lessened considerably when they figured out that I was not going to take sides, they were both going to end up in time out or room or spanked or whatever.

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N.P.

answers from Knoxville on

They should not fight. I don't care who says that it is normal. They probably need to read some Bible stories and be strongly disciplined when they fight. I had two sister who fought with each other. I was the middle child and they didn't fight with me but their fights were miserable and to this day, they remember how they treated each other so badly. It leaves deep wounds in relationships forever.

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M.F.

answers from Memphis on

Mine are varied in ages.. 12, 6, and 4. Speaking from experience as I am one of 3, there will always be 2 on 1. So when 2 of mine get into it like that, I make them stand in the corner nose to nose. If it is the 12yo and the 4yo, I make the 12yo get on his knees to do it.

A few minutes nose to nose, looking at each other in the eye, and they calm down. I tell them the reason they are doing this is to look at their sibling. Think about how they love each other, and think about why they are fighting.

Solves it everytime...

That or I resort to Bill Cosby... "The beatings will now begin..." j/k...

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B.K.

answers from Jacksonville on

I have three boys...the oldest two are three yrs apart. I think what the other moms said is great acvice. I never thought of the making them stand nose to nose. But I have definitely made it a point to let them know I wouldn't stand for the constant bickering. Maybe making the 8 y/o read to the 5 y/o and having the 5 y/o help clean her sister's room would be another small help. Teamwork and clear consequesnces. Also, my ex and I are divorced and so I always remind them that they are brothers, and that they don't have to be friends, but one of the best friends you can ever make in life is with your brother...that they will always be there for each other.

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