Trying to Plan My Wedding

I guess it's normal if you want a big wedding.
Me and my husband went straight to Reno and got maried within a half hr. It was cool and quick. We just wanted to get married.
We had a reseption a couple of weeks later at my moms for everyone to celebrate.
If you get a quick marriage, you can spend the money that you have saved on an awesome honey moon.
Just a suggestion
O.

i agree with the last response about the photography. the pictures will be almost the only thing you have to remember your special day. however, you do not have to get the most expensive photographer. find several and take a look at their work and see which ones style best matches your taste and maybe you will see that they arent the most expensive one. also keep in mind that ameture photographers can be very good too. (also try and find one that stays for the whole wedding and reception, and allows family and friends to take pictures too. you'd be surprised at how many do not allow "guest photographers")
as far as everything else, a wedding can be very nice on a smaller budget. shop around to find the best prices and make it fun. weddings are stressful enough with planning and after its all done most of the little details actually dont matter anymore. i hate to agree with your future husband, i dont think you need a second job to have a nice wedding. :)

We also saved money paycheck by paycheck for our wedding. We scrimped and saved, nixed some stuff, got the important things and managed to do it all by the wedding. We paid all the deposits and then paid it all at the due dates.

I dont know how much your budget is, or what you have planned, but try and cut corners, just do not scrimp on the photography. I did and I still whine and cry about it to this day.

Hi K.

Luckily you live in San Diego and there are tons of ways to save while still having a nice wedding. I was married 5 years ago to the love of my life and did it all myself or with friends and family's help. I spent only 1200 including the catering, flowers, table setting, everything. even my dress. to this day, people tell me that it was the most beautiful and personal wedding they have attended. here are a few recourses i used:

wholesale flowers off of Linda Vista Road. (i think they have a website too). you can just order the flowers you like at wholesale pricing and buy cheep vases there too. just clip off the ends and place them in the vases. its that easy! ask an "arty" friend to help you, if you are frazzled. you can do this the day before. also, pick a few flowers that you could fashion into boutineers and corsages for the elders. super-easy to do yourself and you can save tons. check out Martha Stewart's wedding magazine. she always has good ideas on this.

see if you can borrow chairs and tables from someone instead of using a rental place. maybe a church? you can also sew simple tablecloths out of inexpensive material of your choice. this would be a good project to delegate to a grandmother or someone.

many restaurants will cater for cheep if you supply someone to set it up and serve yourself. call in all favors.

i bought my dress off the rack and had it tailored to fit me well. i paid only $150.00! there are deals to be had if you look around. a great place to look is 1000 dreams in Kearney Mesa on convoy.

have you decided where you are going to have it? you can save allot by using someone's pretty backyard.

good luck and remember that what is most important is that you and your soon to be hubby have a good time!

First and formost...relax. Everything will be okay. You have alot on your mind and seem to be busy with about a hundred things right now.

Just getting married is a huge stress. Planning all of the details and worrring about budgets seems to be the number one concern when getting married.

My name is K. and I am the owner of K. Dillin Events. I am a wedding planner in souther california. I have seen beautiful events on very small budgets. You can find alot of great deals out there in todays market. Just keep looking.

Your number one priority should be to set an actual budget!!! Once you and your fiance have one, STICK TO IT!!! This advice in most cases helps the bride and groom to be less stressed about $$$.

If you are in need of a great wedding planner contact me!

K.
____@____.com

Dear K.,

Well, as I see it you have 3 full time jobs,(Mom, work and school and an extra added attraction of planning a wedding. Then you will have 4 full time jobs. It sounds to me like you just need to calm down and trust your fiance. You are very lucky, you need to recognize it and enjoy him.

It is so good that you know that you have a control problem, that is a big help. Now you need to respect his judgement, spend as little as you can on the wedding, and have a wonderful day.

One does not need a huge celebration, it just needs to be meaningful, with all the family enjoying the beginning of a new life .

Sincerely, C. N.

Look on EBAY. When I got married a few years ago, I found a beautiful dress for just a few hundred.

Also, if you want a reception, try & do as much of the extras yourself. Since you are getting married in the summer, it might be a little warm, but book a park w/a clubhouse.

If somebody in your family bakes, do wedding cupcakes instead of a cake, or get a sheet cake. And just have a small cake for the two of you. You can find little candies or flower petals to decorate them with.

Shop around for a photgrapher. Look into colleges in the art dept for somebody looking ot build their resume.

Good luck. I had to plan mine for less than 5000. It was hard, but can be done.

Hi K.. I'm sure planning your wedding can be very stressful esp when you're on a budget. I have a friend that has a web-based business that you may want to check out. It offers all kinds of stuff for reasonable prices. Her website is "weddingsforless.com", I hope that helps. And some men don't really stress out on things like this because they think it's just a simple ceremony that doesn't need much preparation besides getting dressed. Us women on the other hand want all the extravagance, so take a breather, if your man says he'll take care of it, then I'm sure he'll come through. :)

Hello K.,
Congratulations on your upcoming wedding! Everything will be fine. There are weddings of all sorts of budgets. I am a wedding photographer but in Vegas otherwise I would love to help you out, but in my line of work I see every budget there is to be seen. I have shot weddings in a warehouse, yet decorated very nicely but still inexpensive. Ask for some help of your girlfriends, especially those who have already had a wedding. Look through bridal magazines or watch some of the "Do IT Yourself" channels, they always have excellent ideas. I saw one yesterday where they took a 6 x 6 square piece of wood and used cabinet hardware knobs (all the same and covered it with pretty cloth with a staple gun and it was perfect for a centerpiece stand. You can put candles or a vase on it.

When you are talking to your friends, let them know what you still need and perhaps they have a referal. If you don't have a hall, check with your church or do a lot of calling around. Some halls will do the decorating, some will just rent the room. For the photographer, just be sure you are happy with their work. I DO NOT suggest saving money by putting disposable cameras on the tables. They get expensive by the time you put 2 - 3 cameras on each table. People maybe drinking and then decide to take a picture and then you will have to pay for the processing and printing of blurry pictures. Further, a lot of people don't get the idea and they take the cameras with them. My brother-in-law is sick ~ he will take the camera in the rest room for a close up of the ol pecker and then go put it back on the table.

Anyway, you can do this. Possibly this is all overwhelming for your fiance and he doesn't realize what all is entailed. Start making a list, call places, get quotes, and present it to him so that he has something to work with. Start with your most important things first. Location, clergy, invitations, cake, food (dinner or just finger food), drinks (first soft drinks and if the budget allows bar or they can pay their own tab), & photographer. When getting the location, food, and bar ask if they have table clothes and and decorations or table settings.

Email me and maybe I can help with the invitations: ____@____.com.

Hi K.,

You might be able to find ways to cut corners on pricing. Instead of renting an expensive place. Try maybe a park or a church for your wedding and reception. Places like this will charge you deposit, and if the place is clean when you leave, you will get the money back. This could save you thousands. I got married 18 years ago. Our wedding was in a park, next to a pond with a beautiful bridge. With swans and Willow trees. I had to give them $100 deposit, promise we wouldn't serve alcohol, and clean up when I was finished. I had a beautiful wedding, and I even got the $100 back.

I also used silk flowers, and my family put all of the arrangements together, including my bouquet. If you prefer fresh flowers. Contact my very good friend, Denise Shadle Owner of Flowers Over Time, in Fallbrook. She may be reasonable enough for you. She's really good about finding beautiful flowers within your budget. She makes gorgeous arrangements as well...
Good Luck. Oh, and don't stress so much... The most important thing is that you are getting married to the man that you love... he loves you and the children. Be happy, and enjoy your day.
J.

I had the same problems with my husband before we were married. What I had to do was 'let go' of whatever I needed money for. He said he'd take care of it, and I had to believe in him. Sometimes things didn't happen that way. But we managed to pull things together. Mostly I had to put my trust in God even if my husband didn't come through. I have control issues as well, and the key is learning to let things go no matter what the possible consequences could be.

I know how planning a wedding is, very very stressful. My Momther and I planned my wedding on a budget and it was awesome. I did my own silk flower arrangements, and table toppers and alter flowers. that help out alot. A florist usely costs 1500-1600 and I did my own and it cost 450. If you need help let me know. Just a person that knows what you are going through!

Have you presented him with an estimated budget for the entire wedding (every little detail adds up). Most things have to be purchased before hand, so why don't you go ahead and start researching everything. Try to find a good deal, interview people, shop around, and start crossing things off your list. It'll feel really good, especiallly since your wedding isn't too far away. You also need to write down what you REALLY want in the wedding & what you can live without.I'm getting married on May 27th 2007, and I thought we couldn't afford as much as we did. Plus the in laws & my parents are equally helping us out. Our budget has trippled, but it's still reasonably priced, considering how expensive everything is when you add the word "wedding" to it. Since itll be my first & only wedding, I want it to be just what I wanted. Anyways, if you need any more help just wirte me
Good luck
P.

I think that if your soon to be husband isn't concern about money for your wedding then truly he might not the man for you. You have two children that you need to think about, you need to find someone who can take better care you and your children. Otherwise you will always be worrying about money and may end up on welfare. You need to think what would be best for you and your children.
I'm sorry if you think that this is harsh but I think that you can do better than him. Don't settle if you think that you will always worry about money.