LM, it appears we are talking about something that happened over 12 years ago, prior to your marriage and blessing your lives with children. I am not sure why a secure and faithful man would continuously put his and his family's happiness in jeopardy over something so old and negative when it doesn't speak life or love or induce good feelings between you. He has a need to create discourse between you and he needs to understand why in order to stop it. Some would say that he has obvious low self esteem or may be currently involved in what he is accusing you of. While it would be reasonable to assume both, I dare not subscribe to it. It's deeper than what he's conveying and what you are arguing about is only the symptom, not the sore. Please, for the sake of your own self esteem and a healthy family enviornment for your children, seek and actively work it out with a professional, get therapy. Your husband has issues with trust and the (immature) way he recruits his children to validate your trustworthiness is truly damaging; whether he knows it or not, he is setting them up for all kinds of relationship trust issues, i.e., your boys (if you have boys) may very well grow up believing women are not to be trusted and worse, see their mom as one whose word has no honor/value; I know you don't want that for them. Please encourage your husband to work this out with you in counseling, you cannot do it yourselves--you are still "discussing" this non-event more than 10 years later and it has nothing to do with treating him badly prior to marriage. Good luck! You are not alone!
