I stay at home w/our 2 year old, and we have so much fun together during the day. Evenings are more of a challenge b/c she becomes extremely clingy. When Daddy gets home from work, he is ready to play with her, but she wants me there for every second. Often, if I try to do something in another room, she cries for me. If I am not in the bathroom when Daddy gives her a bath, she cries. If I am not in her bedroom for story time, she cries for me. I just need a break sometimes in the evenings, and it doesn't seem to happen w/o her crying nonstop endlessly, working herself up so much that she cannot even calm down when I return. We've tried distraction (Daddy takes her outside to do something special), we've tried just letting her cry (it would literally go on and on), we've tried communication (letting her know I'm going downstairs for a few minutes and will be back). What else? Daddy is willing and wants an opportunity to just be with her, and Mommy needs some quiet time sometimes.
It's worth noting that if I leave the house and Daddy is alone w/her, she doesn't cry. This she somehow understands: Mommy is leaving and will be back soon. It's the whole idea that I'm in the house and not right by her side that seems to upset her. I don't want to leave the house just to get a break.
Thanks for your ideas.
So normal ... not easy, but normal. Pretend to leave the house or leave the house and sneak back in another door. You do need a break, and you deserve a break. Keep taking breaks, both for you and for her. She will develop a closer relationship with daddy and begin to really be ok with it.
Hang in there! This will get easier.
Pretend you are leaving the house...I know this is simplistic. She has learned that if you are in the house and she cries for you , you eventually come. She cries so long because she has learned that if she keeps on crying she'll get your attention. Maybe completely leave the house for the next few times he takes over to stop yourself from intervening and she will get used to it. My daughter is the same way and I had to stop meddling so she would accept his help.
Aw, it really is sweet, but a bit frustrating, I know. I had a few who seemed to have radar. They would just know if I was around but out of sight. Have Daddy play with her in the same room you are in. Then, when they are playing really well with something fun she enjoys (bubbles, etc.), have him sort of gently move the activity into the next room. If she has the option of following or staying, she may just go ahead and follow, leaving you in the room where she knows where you are and what you are doing. Eventually, even after just a few minutes, you can follow them into the room and sit down with them and enjoy the activity. Reinforce what a good time she is having. After a few times, she should be more secure. At the end of the day, it is usually really hard for littles. They are tired and hungry (if it is before dinner). They are content and comfortable with the situation they have been in, and change can be hard. Having Daddy come into the picture after a long day can be hard for them to adjust to. Train her to start cheering when Daddy gets home. Big smiles, hugs, kisses all around. Make it a celebration. This man is a man to celebrate and want to be around. Maybe that will help. Eventually, she will grow out of this. Sometimes it takes longer with some children. Hang in there!
I have heard that kids can be clingy with one parent and then switch to another (&I have seen it with my own son). I am just mentioning this so that you might feel some relief to know you might get a break in the future.
I sometimes tell my son that there is a special toy or book that he can have/read when daddy gets home. I mention it a few times in the day or whenever that toy/book is mentioned, so he starts to look forward to the pending activity. Maybe you could do that and then mention " when you do (insert activity), mommy will be (insert activity) in her room. Later we will all have dinner together". Try warming her up to the idea.
I know it sounds simplistic , but I hope something like that will help ease her into the transition.
Most kids are usually attached to one parent,usually the mommies. I stay at home with all my kids. When their daddy leaves for work or whatever they don't cry. They give him kisses and hugs and smile. Now all my kids are 2.4.and 5. And if I leave somewhere by myself(which I hardly ever do) they will cry and tell me to take them. Kinda crazy.I figured they will be at this age of not really clingy. But I guess they love their mama. ;) If I'm doing something in the kitchen and tell my husband to bath the kids,they tell him no," I want mommy to bath me".My husband usually gets aggravated and I have to bath them. lol. I did all the baths since they were born. The only time my husband ever baths the kids is when i'm in the hospital giving birth or recovery from delivery and go straight back to all the stuff when I get home. It stress me out sometimes,because I feel like i don't get a break. But then I feel so loved by my kids and know they want me there all the time. :)
I think you leaving for a whole weekend would be beneficial for everyone in your family. You will get a much needed break and your daughter and her dad will really have a chance to bond if they have the whole weekend alone together without you there. My son was the same way about me until I went to the hospital for 4 days to have my daughter (he was 21 months when she was born). My husband stayed home with him the whole time...well there wasn't actually a whole lot of "staying home" they went on so many adventures together! Their bond was solidified and it has stayed very strong ever since then. He has put him to bed every night, gives them both baths, and they both cheer and shout when daddy comes home every night. Good luck with everything--i know it's really hard to hear your baby upset (and to hear your husband having to deal with it all alone even though you could easily just pop back in and make everyone but yourself happy).
I had this happen with my first son and it was SUPER tough to deal with. What I learned is that I had to set a regular routine with the other kids so they would go to daddy or me. Ultimately, they typically cling to me just because I am the primary care-giver during the day, but if I unload them to my husband around the same time, same place each afternoon when he gets home they gradually get in the groove and it works.
Good luck!
Oh this was SO my daughter! I stay at home too and she was and still is VERY attached to me, especially around that 2 y/o age. She just turned 4 and honestly, just within the last few months have I noticed her gravitating more towards Daddy. That's not to say it's been as extreme as it once was between 2 and 4, but literally within the last 2 months is the first time EVER that she's asked Daddy to put her to bed while I'm at home.
I would also suggest just leaving the house. I know that doesn't sound all that appealing since you really just want downtime to sit down or load the dishwasher or whatever, but my husband used to come home and on particularly rough days would say...don't you have to get gas?! So, I did, and then I went to Starbuck's! ;)
It will get better. For us we mostly just let her cry and fuss about it during one activity and then I'd help for the other activity. For instance dad would give her bath and then I'd get her in jammies and put her to bed. Eventually he was able to do both bath and jammies and I came in at the end. Now I still usually am the one to put her to bed but she has no problems with me being in the house and not tending to her every need! Lots of people told me one day she'll switch to Daddy, but, and not to make it worse ;), but that day hasn't happened yet!
This is a frustrating time! I hear you! Hang in there! It does get better, slowly but surely!
My (she's 2) daughter can be the same way. She is soooo attached to mama! For us it really helps for Daddy to do things one on one with her. He has started taking her out to do things on his day off...just the 2 of them. They ride the bus just for fun and get off at the pool and swim. She is SO excited afterwards and she has such a great time. I try to go 2 evenings a week to the gym so she only has Dad around. I left for a whole weekend recently - crazy! They did so great without me. These things have changed her super mama clinginess. So, I would suggest a lot less mom time and a lot more dad time. Or just wait it out - she will get better as she gets older.
