To Circumcise or Not to Circumcise

Updated on June 28, 2007
K.C. asks from New Lenox, IL
29 answers

Hi all!

So I'm due to have a little boy any day (God willing!) and just realized that I have a decision to make about circumcision. First off my husband DEFINITELY wants him to be circuscised. I've done the reading I see there are no medical reasons to do this. We are Catholic and have no religious reasons but I am really torn. I know I'm going to get some strong responses here but those of you with boys, what did you decide and how did you come to your decision? I definitely have no desire to put my child through a needless surgery but on the other hand I want him to "fit in" so to speak. Bring it on ladies, whatcha think? I'm a little squeamish about either option to be honest!

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So What Happened?

Again, bowled over by all the wonderful responses. I think this message board is wonderful and I hope you guys never get sick of all my questions. I value every single opinion I get. I carefully read your responses, did some research and discussed the issue with my husband. He insists that we get our son circ. As another poster stated, he has a penis, I do not, so I'm leaving this decision up to him. I've had him read your response and read the research I've pulled so I feel confident that I've done my part in informing him but it's his son too and he has a right to make decisions relating to the care of our children. Personally, I'm still on the fence. I see very compelling reasons on both sides and perhaps that's why I'm actually ok taking a back seat on this ONE decision. I told my husband that he will make the decision, he will need to tell the doctor and HE will need to be with our son when it occurs. If he doesn't follow through on those three counts, it's not getting done. Again, thank you for your input and as I suspected it seems pretty much cut down the middle on this topic (no pun intended)!

More Answers

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L.

answers from Chicago on

Your son will never ever remember any of it. My son was and hardly cried at all. I recomend getting it done. He will thank you in the long run and will "fit" in better no matter what anyone else says.

1 mom found this helpful
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L.D.

answers from Chicago on

my boyfriend is not circumcised. Please- circumcise your child.

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M.P.

answers from Peoria on

Hi K.,

I saw your update. Just to let you know, when we had my son circumsized, they took him out of the room and brought him back when it was done. We were not in the room at the time. I don't know if that was just how they did it at Edward but I thought you should know. By the way, I struggled with this too but we decided that we did not want our son to feel awkward around other boys when he got older if he wasn't circumsized. Tough decision...! Good luck and I hope you have a smooth and painless labor!!! :)

Denise

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M.

answers from Chicago on

Hi!
I have 2 sons - 4 & 6 who are cirucumcised and have not had any problem. I also have 2 friends who have sons who they did not have circumcised at birth and both had so many complications that they had to have the circumcisions done when they were 6. - OUCH!

Something to think about...

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D.X.

answers from Chicago on

We had it done to our son (my husband is circ'ed, so I let him make the decision). In hindsight, I wish like heck we had NOT had it done. God created a perfect little boy, and to me, cutting off a part of ones body at birth makes no sense whatsoever. I will never forgive myself for allowing that to be done to my own flesh and blood.

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J.K.

answers from Chicago on

My sons are both circumcised. I think that while medically unnecessary, it helps with hygiene and appearance. When they become adults it's a lot harder to take care of. I dated an uncircumcised guy once, and he hated it. The pain, from what I have experienced with both my boys is relatively minor, and the recovery was quick.

Good luck and congrats!

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M.L.

answers from Rockford on

Yes Circumcise. Every boy that I know who is circumcised does not remember having it done, is not scared by it and lived through it. I would leave that decision to your husband if you can't decide He is a guy it should be a guy decision, the doctor can have it done without you even knowing about it or seeing it till afterwards.
Now the ones I do know that are not circumcised have had problems first you have to keep it clean and I mean clean or it will get a nasty infection yuck and ouch Then there is that whole deal about being different from the other guys when he is older and that time will come. If you have no religious reason not to just have it done don't think twice about it and then it is over and done with, you or your son won't have to think about it again.

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M.R.

answers from Chicago on

I think circ'ing is a very personal decision, so no matter what you choose for your family it will be the right decision.

Recent studies indicate lower risk of hiv infection in circ'ed males. On the flip side, a male can choose healthy or unhealthy sexual behaviors related to hiv prevention, so circ'ing isn't a guarantee.

Our son was circ'ed. He did not cry or exhibit any signs of pain during or after the procedure. I don't feel badly about our decision to have him circ'ed.

Just like MANY things with being a mother - you will find that different families do different things. Decide what is best for your family and you'll be just fine.

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S.

answers from Chicago on

I too, did not want to subject my little newborn to any undue pain. My husband insisted on it. It was a quick snip snip and my son barely cried.They would not let me watch but they said it takes no time at all. The pros are as you said so he fits in and hygeine. Look at it this way. Better now that when he is sixteen. Ouch.

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M.C.

answers from Milwaukee on

I am for circumcision, mostly because it is the norm. Another reason is that I didn't have wanted to have to deal with cleaning it or teaching my son to clean it. It's really not that big of a deal for the baby, I don't think. My son is, and I will have any future sons, as well.

Good luck with everything! You're in my prayers!

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B.P.

answers from Chicago on

I also left it up to my husband and he wanted to have it done. If we have a second boy he will also be circumcised. But I wanted to add there has been recent (within the last 6 months or so) research that shows circumcised men have a significantly lower infection rate of HIV/AIDS. Some pediatricians are now encouraging the procedure for this reason. Food for thought. Congats on your new baby!

N.P.

answers from Chicago on

We decided to have our boy circumsized. We really didn't give non-circumcision much thought. Our biggest reason (and my husband's) ... we wanted our son to look like his dad and for his dad to be able to answer questions better about it since they will look the same. Your little guy won't really be in much pain and won't remember it. He'll be a little sore and be on some tylenol for a little bit but as long as you take proper care of it (stock up in vasoline) he'll be fine. Good luck and congrats!

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M.S.

answers from Chicago on

We adopted our son from South Korea, where he was not circumscised. When we mentioned it to our pediatrician, that we wanted to have it done when he arrived, she shrugged her shoulders and said there was absolutely no reason whatsoever to have the surgery.

My husband was also concerned with having our son look like everyone else to fit in, but it turns out that only around 50% of the boys in the U.S. get it in and even less in the world.

Good luck with your decision!

M.

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J.P.

answers from Chicago on

Just think about how HE will feel when he is in his twenties. I know it doesn't have to be done and it is more of a societal thing but you have to think about what he will feel as an adolescent boy and a young man. Good luck in your decision. My son got numbing cream and a local before it was done. Speak to your hospital about their circumcision procedure. They all do it differently.

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B.F.

answers from Chicago on

I said yes for my son. When asked at a doctor's visit I had no clue. Both my husband and Mom said yes. He is 6 now and doesn't remember any of it.

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N.C.

answers from Chicago on

Hi K.,

I have 2 boys. 3 1/2 year old and a 10 month old and I didn't get either of them circumcised. I figure if ain't broke...ya know what I mean? My husband really wanted our first son to have it done so I said if you want him to have it done you can take him but he wouldn't. I figure we don't take out a kidney unless there is something wrong we don't remove any other piece of our body unless there is something wrong so why do that? So it looks better? I read up on it a ton and with everything I read I just decided there really is no good reason to have it done. You don't have to worry about cleaning it until they are like 5, before that it is self cleaning so that's not an issue. In fact they tell you to just leave it alone when they are young, don't ever pull the skin back or anything. Anyways, I'm blabbing on here but basically my reason for NOT doing it is becuase I could not find a good reason to do it.

I hope this helps and good luck with your decision!!!

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D.K.

answers from Chicago on

Hi K., My son was two months premature and had little to no skin to circumcise. So when the doctor felt it was time to do the procedure my son was about 4 weeks old. I decided that it would be horrible to do that to a 4 week old infant and chose not to circumcise him. I had input coming from everywhere - I learned that several men in my family also had not been circumcised and they said it didn't effect them negatively in any way. My husband wanted him circumcised and I just felt I couldn't put my son through this torture. I am also Catholic and have no religous ties to it. My son is now going on 10 and involved in many sports and activities. He has no problems whatsoever.

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L.M.

answers from Chicago on

Hi K.,

Congratulations on the upcoming birth of your little boy! Regarding the circumcision, if you have no strong feelings one way or another, I would suggest going ahead with it. It may not be "medically" necessary, but my peditrician HIGHLY recommended it for hygiene reasons, telling us it truly IS easier to keep clean and reduces infections. My ped is a male, by the way, and he also said getting it done as an adult is a highly painful, somewhat risky procedure (infection etc.). Obviously, since it was our ped who gave us the info, he had nothing to gain either way. Hope this helps!

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S.W.

answers from Chicago on

Hi there. Wow there are many that have circumcised. I have an 11 year old son and up until I was in labor we were going to circumcise. My husbnad is not, so he did not really worry either way. It was the nurse in the hospital that really changed my mind. She talked to me about the pros and cons and the cons really made me decide against it. He is 11 now and has NEVER had any hygiene issues. Yes you have to clean it and pull the skin so that it gets clean but wouldn't you clean your son if he was not circumcised. The many boys with problems may have had parents who do not clean them well enough. How does ANYONE know the pain that thte child is in. I believe needless surgery is needless and should not have to be done. Just my opinoin.

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D.W.

answers from Chicago on

Hi K.. I'm a little late seeing this & responding--sorry! But if you're still in question, I just wanted to add that my husband & I just had our 3rd child & 2nd boy & after MUCH research, thought & prayer we decided to have him circumcised BUT since we had a home birth & weren't in the hospital we had a rabbi come to the house & perform the procedure. We're not Jewish so it wasn't a religious reason, but our midwife refered him to us & explained that they do a much better job as they do soooooooooooooooo many & the parent can be present while it happens--which I liked for the reason of accountability. My husband was in the room (no way could I be near) & we did give him a local anasthetic. He did very well & recovered quickly AND the rabbi came back to our house a couple days later to check on him & make sure all was OK. All in all we were thrilled with it. With our first son the Dr. cut too far into the skin & it caused needless problems; the rabbi was quick, professional, compassionate & also much cheaper since most insurances won't cover it.
Anyway, please let me know if you'd like any more information on this.
God bless as you make the decision that's best for your family!

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A.S.

answers from Austin on

My husband and I were in the same boat 3 years ago. I did a lot of research on it and presented him with all the facts and then he agreed that it was silly to put him thorough it if there really was no benefit. He is 3 now and we have had no problems at all and I am so glad I didn't put him through that pain. Yes, he looks a little different from my husband, but he looks different anyway....I am sure there will come a time when he is older and will wish we had done it, but then when he fully matures into a grown man he will be glad we didn't as having that part intact gives men additional sexual feeling as well. I know my best friend also did not have her son done and it is getting more and more common, so I don't think it will be nearly the issue then as it might have been for a boy in our generation.

Good luck...not an easy choice.

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J.G.

answers from Chicago on

Hi,

my sister has 2 boys 1 is and 1 is not. She truly regrets not having them both done. The hygiene issue and him not looking like the other boys has been a huge issue for him. High school children can be so mean to others that are different.

J.
www.noahbyjodi.com

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E.W.

answers from Chicago on

My Fiance and I chose not to circumcise our son. I see a lot of people that do it for a silly reason like the child "fitting" in. (while it is 50% either way right now) In my opinion if everyone who had that thought didn't circumcise then the majority of children would NOT be circumcised. Ok I'm done.

In the end it is up to your husband AND you. But I still shutter at the thought of a screaming infant for an unneccessary reason.

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D.P.

answers from Chicago on

Hi K.,

I'm a mom of 5 girls and 1 son. I also did not want my son to go through any uncecessary pain however, I did want him to fit in. I know a few men that were not circumcised when they were youner and did it when they were older and the pain was worse. I just decided to have it done and get it over with. My OB did it unknowingly to me when my son went down to have the newborn hearing screening. I had mixed emotions about that and quickly got over it when they brought my son back in to me. Best of luck.

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D.S.

answers from Chicago on

We opted to circumcise our little guy. Our largest deciding factor was that it's hygienically better. Much lesk risk of infection when there aren't any "wrinkles" to clean in and around.

Good luck!

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S.S.

answers from Chicago on

We have a son also. I basically told my husband that the choice was his. I gave him the statistics about the rise in baby boys not being circumcised and he new there was no medical reason to do so, it's really a cosmetic/social reason. You really have to do what feels right for you. We decided to go thru with the circumcision.
As far as the pain, I am sure it does hurt while it happens. Our doctor gave tylenol and dipped the pacifier in sugar water for the procedure - I heard that some don't do anything for pain. They might have also put some numbing cream first too. But it seemed not to be an issue once it was over. I imagined it to be painful to urinate or have the diaper/gauze touching it, but our son never showed signs of discomfort during diaper changes.
Congrats on the baby and good luck with the decision.

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S.

answers from Chicago on

I have a 9-week-old boy and we did decide to circumcise. Although, my OB left town the day after he was born so his partner was assigned to do the circ. She did give us a long "lecture" on how this is truly an unnecessary procedure along with handouts. It did make me think, but we ultimately went through with it. He was taken out of the room and returned 10 minutes later. I truly think the worst part about it is the care afterwards. It's messy and, at first, it seemed to hurt every time he urinated. The recovery took about 10 days, about the same time the cord takes to fall off and then everything is fine. Congratulations and Good Luck!

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C.Z.

answers from Chicago on

Hi, K.. I am a little late in answering your question but here is my 2 cents (from experience). If you do decide to circumcise here is a little advice. Make sure the doctor does a pretty tight cut. I thought all circ's were done the same and as another poster stated, there are tight and loose circ's. My son ended up with a loose and looks as if it wasn't done at all. I have asked numerous pediatrician's about his circ and they all say it was a perfect circ and that he just has extra skin. He supposedly will grow into his skin, but if for some reason he doesn't, he can be "re-circumcised" later around 4 or 5 years old. It pain's me to think that he may have to go through it again, but right now we have to treat it as if it wasn't circumcised at all. We have to pull the skin back to clean it and early on (he is 2 years old now) if you didn't pull back the skin during each diaper change or bath and coat it with vasoline or aquaphor (my miracle ointment of choice), the skin actually reattaches itself and it is more difficult and painful to pull back when that happens. I definately would not have even considered NOT having him circumcised, as my husband had it done at 30 years old and let me tell you, he had excrutiating pain for about 1 1/2 weeks. My son had it right before we left the hospital and it didn't seem to bother him afterwards at all. I am sure he probably cried with pain during the surgery, but in the long run, I think it is not just a choice made for cosmetic reasons but for hygenic reasons.

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D.G.

answers from Chicago on

Hi K.-

This is a really difficult decision to make. My husband is from Ireland and is firmly against it (he's not). I'm on the fence. Our first born was a girl so we didn't have to make the decision.

The thing that I find strange though is that we in America are about the only country that does in fact do it unless you're Jewish. There are men all over the world that are uncircumsized and I have trouble believing that they all have hygiene issues. Before I got married, I dated someone from England and Argentina and neither of them were circumcized. However, I hated thinking about my son looking different that the other little boys. Kids can be cruel. I just have to believe that you raise them knowing the truth/facts about it and that just because it looks different, there's nothing weird about it. I hate to think I'd chose to inflict pain upon my newborn for no real reason except it's cosmetically more acceptable.

Good luck with your decision!
D.

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