Throwing Food - Poughkeepsie,NY

what I do with my almost one yr old is this. I tell her no once, if she does it again she is done with that meal. Sound harsh? I thought so too but I tried it and it works. She only throws down food when she is finished eating. I have learned to accept that she just doesn't eat as much as I sometimes think she should.

Hey, Jeanmarie!

Sounds like what you're doing is correct. Taking it away, explaining what she's done is wrong. Good going!

The only other thing I could think of is perhaps just giving her what you know she's gonna eat...then give her a little more when she done with that.

Giving her 2 to 3 bites at a time is quite annoying but, worth a shot...maybe?

When my kids threw food it almost always meant they were done. It is also a phase that will pass. She is learning cause & effect. All you can do is continue to let her know it is unacceptable - firmly but gently. She should never be punished at such a young age when she does not have the cognitive ability to control behavior or understand consequences.
A.

Hi Jeanmarie,

Throwing their food is so common, but how you deal with it is the issue. I believe you are right with taking the food away, but wrong in giving it back. With both of my sons they too would eat well, then start playing and throwing it on the floor. It was through trial and error with my oldest, and instant with my youngest, that I finally realized, JUST TAKE IT AWAY FOR GOOD! Being so young a child will not usually eat unless they are hungry. They are not programmed like adults yet to eat out of boredom. That being said, once they start throwing the food that is it, just take it away and DO NOT give it back. After a few days my sons realized I meant business. Yes, some meals they would be hungry again a few hours later because they didn't eat as much as they should have, but that's when I would give them their lunch or dinner plate back and tell them to finish it since they didn't before. After only a couple weeks of starting to keep it away, they learned not to throw. Even now that my oldest is 3, when he starts playing he knows if I say I’m going to take it away, I REALLY WILL.

maybe dont put all her food out...kinda do alittle at a time...but i am sure its just a phase...we all go thru it...luckily you have a dog...lol.. i do too...

My 16 month old son does the same thing. i think he does it because the dog eats it and it makes him laugh! I usually just say no alot and take it away. I look forward to reading the advice of others!
J.

At that age they are seeing the food goes away over the edge. Magically it gets cleaned up.... And, they get attention from you (or from the family pet).

Yes it makes mommy angry, but so what? Does it affect her?
It's funny to see mommy react....it is attention.

I ran a registered daycare out of my home. I loved to be challenged by toddlers....its like a week long puzzle.

One...
Don't let the dog eat it...

Two...
Constructive reaction.
If you react and it has no affect on her....it is not constructive. Taking the food away and giving it back will become a game too. You are teaching her that you will cave in the end. That is a negative reaction.

So, calmly take it away and make her get down ((Teaching her that throwing food means she doesn't want it)). Do not use anger...make sure it is a reaction for her action, not a reaction for your anger.

Calmly make her get down and pick it up....every bit, every time. And throw it in the trash ((Teaching her that the food doesn't disappear, it goes down to the floor when she throws it; food doesn't go on the floor; and it is not appropriate to feed the dog her food)).

No matter how funny her method of cleaning up her mess.....don't let her see you giggle or laugh. Pretend you are not paying attention (but still keep an eye on her). She is not entertaining you, she is being responsible.

Do not congratulate her on a good job when she is done or you may entice her to make messes to clean up. But congratulate her on eating neatly.

Sure, it is a pain in the butt to keep getting her down. But it will teach her responsibility for her action, and teach her the consequence for not listening to mommy's "NO". Your action is essentially speaking her language. It may take a few times for her to understand it. So, you MUST be consistant. Everytime you do these things, you are instilling more and more that her every action has a consequence. The first time you let it go, you are starting all over again.

My toddlers always wiped their eating area when they were done. Of course, I always followed behind to do a better job while they got a video to watch. If it took them too long to clean up because they made a mess, they missed out on the video already playing. They feel a sense of urgency to finish so they can go watch their beloved dinosaur..making them dislike their "Mess". They are less likely to give the caregiver the 'I hate you!' tantrum when your actions are reacting to their initial action and not from your anger.

It takes a long time for some children to realize that the mess they are making is the mess they must clean up. But with consistency, they catch on. At her age, making her immediately clean it up after taking the food away will also be a shortcut to make her realize the mess is her own doing.

I love the feeling of accomplishing a learning experience for a toddler when most adults feel that they are incapable of understanding you. They do learn from every action...sometimes it takes some creativity. She is at the beginning of toddler years...a great time to start constructive reactions that will be the difference between a two year old and a 'terrible two' year old.

Good luck.

You got alot of great advice. The only thing I can add is to put your dog outside or in a different room at meal time. Your daughter probably thinks it's funny to watch the dog snatch up what she drops.

My daughter stopped throwing food on tee floor the first time I made her get down and clean it up all by herself, she was about 16 months old at the time.

hi jeanmarie, if you find something that works let me know because i am in just about the same predicament. my 2 year old throws his fork and sippy cup and occasionally his food. i do the same with taking it away but he just cries until i give it back as well. i feel your pain lol

Hi Jeanmarie!

Throwing food is a huge drag for you…and is tremendously interesting and fun for a 15-month-old! One of the big tricks here is helping everyone get what they need. As the more experienced person, it’s really up to you to help your daughter get what she needs in a way that doesn’t trash your home. So ask yourself, what can she throw? Or, where would it be acceptable to throw something messy like food that would give her the same satisfaction?

If you’re having a hard time with this idea, try to imagine how much your daughter stands to learn from the experience. At this age, she’s a learning machine and she’s all about discovering her world. I believe that this learning experience is, in fact, far, far more valuable to them then pushing letters and numbers and shapes and colors! (”When I throw this food, look what happens to it, listen to the sound it makes. Why does it do that?”) It’s all about discovery, baby! While it may sound trivial and obvious to us, these are all bits of information that are vital to her growing understanding of the way her world works. She’s connecting the dots! And, when that is done on her own terms, the benefits are vastly greater than watching Barney and learning about the letter H!

That’s why it’s better to help little kids do the things they are attracted to. The challenge, however, is to help them do it in a way that doesn’t harm them or the environment. That’s why clever folks like us get the job! ;-)

In addition to the learning benefits she’ll gain, an even bigger benefit is that when you help a young child get what she needs, you build trust rather than erode it. Consider this: What if every time your daughter does something fun and interesting to her but unacceptable to you, she anticipates and expects you to come along and thwart her? Eventually (and sooner rather than later) it could drive her and her experimentation underground, because she’ll learn that she cannot trust you to support this aspect of her learning. But, if she trusts that you’ll join in and help her, not only will you ensure that she’s doing things in a safe way, but you will be forging a trust that will come in handy years down the road when she needs to tell you things that you’ll probably want to know. And, more importantly, you’ll both have a lot of fun! What could be more important than that?!

This is a fantastic opportunity for everyone!

I hope this helps a little!

~Marji

lol that's the same thing my 15 month old does. so what my fiance and i do is give her less food.she be so busy stuffing her face, at the time is gets ready to throw any food there isn't any left. lol