The Patience of a Saint !!

When I told the priest in confession that I had seven children, I didn't even have to elaborate on the stress involved. One is also a lot, since I've had that many too. Anyway, what he said was very helpful and it was that although it may seem like a burden now, later on it won't. There are many aged people who have lots of money and wished they had answered the call to life.

Feelings aren't facts. And as Dori (Finding Nemo) would say: "When life gets you down, do you know what you gotta do?....Just keep swimming......". Hang in there, 5 is tough, I think.

Ah, B.,

last fall I made an appointment with our family therapist - who we/I had not seen in almost a year - because my teen was becoming the bane to my existence.

I was glad to hear that I am normal, and that we all go through periods whilst we love our children we would gladly feed them to the bears.

Loving them and liking them are two different things. Eh, rather loving them and liking their behavior is two different things.

This week I have been lucky to love my teen and like his behavior. Though he is wearing on my patience today. LOL

I would think this applies to everyone, of all ages. We all have our good and bad days. It doesn't (or shouldn't) change our *love* for them, just makes it a little harder that day to *like* them. This is normal, in my opinion. =)

Absolutely okay to not 'like" your child when he's acting like this. But what is better is to tackle the problem head-on so that he learns to stop doing it. Then you'll like him better! (LOL!)

When he gets bossy, tell him that you only listen to a nice tone of voice, and turn away from him. When he changes his tone, turn back to him and deal with him then, like a "switch" turned you on. This method works especially well with whiney kids. "I can't understand you when you whine...", turning away, and totally ignoring until the tone changes to a normal voice "Mommy, may I please..." can work wonders if you are 1006% consistent.

My mother had the patience of Job - and I really mean that. She told me that I was her little "question box". She patiently answered all of my questions. My kids followed suit. It was easier for me because I had more books for my kids than my mom had for me. I'd pull down books to help answer my kids' questions. If this is part of his annoyance, demanding to "know" more, I would choose this one thing to accept and foster patience of your own with him.

Everything else, tell him you will ignore him when he acts like it, OR send him to his room until he remembers how to behave.

Good luck!
Dawn

Just because you love your children every second doesn't mean you LIKE them every second.

It's the end of the summer - and fall brings changes. The combination of the two can make children crazy. Hang in there. Stay firm and friendly, and use that saintly patience you're exercising now.

You really care about your boy's best interests. You would even die for him if it came to that. That's love, no matter how frustrated you get.

Of course it's normal, B..

But for a little help through it, here's St. Bernadette, and naturally St. Monica, who is our Patron Saint of Patience!

http://www.catholic.org/saints/saint.php?saint_id=147

http://livingspace.sacredspace.ie/F0827s/

(I don't know the Patron Saint of Bossy, Overbearing, Annoying 5 yos, but I'll say a little prayer anyway!)

One time when my boys were about 6 and 8, I told them they suck. I said AND YOU BOTH SUCK! When I couldn't take the rough housing one more second. How awful is THAT?! Sigh. :(

School is about to start! You can get rid of him then! Bahahahaha!

My son is 6 and just made me realize I have been giving into him all these years. He is my last child so of course I am attached at the hip with him. He is my "baby". Well recently he dropped his bottom lip when I said No about something and when I almost gave in I realized I had been doing this all along and he had me under his precious cutie wootie spell. No more!!

You are a normal, loving, wondrful mommy. And you have a normal, loving, wonderful son. And a normal, loving, not-always-wonderful experience as a family.

Or at least, your experiece is like mine. I hope it's normal! I'm glad you could get it out!

Oh I feel your pain. Our oldest son will be 12 soon & he is just driving me absolutely nuts! Between puberty & his usual self, we're dying over here! He's bossy, antagonistic towards his little brother, can't say anything nice to his brother cuz it's too hard to be nice (according to him!) & I have recently started telling him that while I love him, I absolutely do not like his actions & behaviours! My manatra for he summer was 'do not engage' cuz that's what he was looking for....didn't go all that well! ;) While it's me who needs the break from him & his attitude, I send him to his room; usually for a lengthy stay & he comes otu somewhat refreshed. Long story short; it's OK to not like your kid sometimes!

Hi B.,

My daughter is in her 30's and what I've found is that I ALWAYS love her, but I don't necessarily like everything about her. So the love is unconditional because I don't think there is ever anything our children can do that will cause us to not love them, but there are things they can do to cause us to not like them or not to like certain things about them such as their choices or lifestyle.

Example, my daughter has chosen to live off welfare rather than to get a job. I do not like that about her; that is not the way she was raised. So, although I love her every minute of every day, I don't like her when she's on the phone asking for money all the time and complaining because she and the kids don't have the things she wants them to have. In those moments, I don't like her so much.

I work in criminal law and I speak with parents on a daily basis who love their kids, but don't necessarily like the people they've become or at least the people they are at this stage in their life.

Have a great day!