The Birds and the Bees

Wow! Talk about a difference. You have a newborn and a daughter asking about sex. YIKES! I don't envy that. :) Anyway, now is the time to form a strong "woman" bond with your daughter. Embrace that she has come to you and that she trusts you to ask and for the answers. Kids today do know more than they should and so you shouldn't tread lightly. Be prepared to talk about it ALL but let her lead the questions. Use your son as an example of what happens when sex is right and good. But that sex could also happen under the wrong circumstances and cause a lot of heartache.

I would also take the opportunity to talk about respect, modesty and self-confidence. Ask HER questions about how she feels about her body and ask her what things she respects about her body. Have her do a lot of talking so that you have an idea of where she is going with things and where her head is.

Good for you for taking the time to do this. You will do great!

N.

Wow, I have a duaghter too, but she's only 8 months. But I've already started to think about having these conversations. My own mother was very open and honest about a lot of things (I started getting my period when I was 9, so I got "the talk" quite early). But, since she told me a lot, I didn't have that many questions. And when I did, I talked to conselors at school and my friends (who were probably more innocent than I was).
Don't be afriad to talk to her straight. Just because you explain things doesn't mean she's going to go out and try it the next day. If you don't give her good information, then she'll end up getting bad informations from someone else.

Run out now and buy the "American Girls Guide to Your Body" (I think that's the title) It is the perfect guide for girls at this age.

when i was about 7 i had a book w/cartoonish pictures that told it all.... but i can say i remember being frustrated when my mom told me it was like a "bee and a flower".
i was like.
WHAT????
so at 10, they teach girls about menstruation.
i say its time to learn it all... they do in school at 11 anyway, or at least i did and that was over 25 yrs ago!

Rule #1: Talk to her! You are her best source for information and you want her to be the person she comes to with questions regarding sex. Kids who have open conversations with their parents are less likely to engage in sexual activity.

At 10 years old, it is likely that she isn't looking for a comprehensive discussion about two people having intercourse. It's more likely that she wants to know about what is going to be happening to her body as she moves through puberty. When she approaches you again ask:

"What is it that you want to know about sex?"

If she is vague or doesn't respond specifically, ask follow up questions like "are you wanting to know what happens when you go through puberty?" "Do you want to know what will happen when you start your period?" or "Are you curious to know about sex between two people or how a baby is made/born?" Just throw out some simple leading questions to draw out of her what it is she wants to know.

Whatever you do, make darn sure that you acknowledge the subject in a week. Don't be afraid to admit that it makes you a little nervous, but do let her know that you are so so glad she felt confident enough to come to you for answers (praise, praise, PRAISE her for that!)

A fantastic place to go is www.kidshealth.org. There are sections for kids, teens, and parents. You might have to do a little bit of looking, but you will definitely find great information about sex. If you're looking for something a bit more technical try www.siecus.org (and click on the second tab from the left at the top).

Best wishes to you - and what a great thing you are doing by making yourself available for your child!