I usually have good boundaries and assert myself and speak up diplomatically when no one else will. I don't know what happened today. But I went to a yoga class at my gym where a girl (20-something) let her phone beep the ENTIRE TIME and I didn't say anything!!! There were about 20 people in the class. Like everyone else, I guess I thought someone else or the teacher would say something...but no one did.
It first went of with a loud chimy sound during the opening stretches. Everyone sort of snickered and she scurried over to....we thought turn it off......but it rang soon after...and and she did nothing, and then it chimed loudly every time she got a message for the duration of the class. She even left her mat to check it a couple of times but didn't turn it off. This was a typical quiet yoga class about breathing and being zen with gentle soft music in the background. And one loud chiming cell phone.
Sooooo. Obviously because no one including myself said anything to her, "How would SHE KNOW how inappropriate that is?" I get it. We are to blame. She needed to be told. After class I overheard several people complaining to each other about it and I did report it to the owner (who is a friend, it's a small gym) so she'll tell the instructor to announce "turn cell phones off" before yoga classes. But I still wish I would have had the nerve to say something to her.
My questions: Can you believe someone would think that's OK? (yeah, maybe she has kids, but since the class was all women I'm guessing lots of us do..I have three) and 2) What are some of the perfect things we should have said to this person??!! What would you ladies have done so I'm prepared next time! :)
Many people in todays society can not see past their own selfish desires to really see how their choices effect others. She wanted to know when she got a message or call and she was too self centered to realize how rude she was being. Next time speak up, or talk with the teacher about making an announcement before each class about cell phones.
It is up to the instructor to give a message to turn off phones at the start of class and to enforce that especially in a yoga class where peace and concentration are part of the goal. I would have gotten the instructor's attention and asked her to do something about the phone.
As annoyed as I'd have been with the phone owner, I'd have been just as annoyed with the instructor. The first time it happened, well, obviously you all thought she ran over to turn it off. The second time it chimed, the instructor should have immediately said something. It's the instructor's job to ensure the class atmosphere is appropriate. A chiming phone is not appropriate.
I would have said something to the instructor. Not sure what, but it's her class, her responsibility. I'd probably get her attention and make a cell phone motion indicating that there is a problem.
It wasn't a yoga class but it was a challenge class...the instructor was "pressing on" and her phone was going off...I asked her if there was an emergency...she said "NO" - I said - okay - then turn it off.
I can't believe you didn't say anything. You're pretty vocal. Totally rude and inconsiderate of her to do this...leave her mat, leave the damn thing on?!?!?! URGH!!
Last night I was at an event, and some older teens or young 20-somethings talked non-stop through the first half. At intermission, I told them, "You guys are really rude. I can understand talking occasionally, but you haven't stopped talking the entire performance." And I gave them my stern look. They weren't there the second half.
We are not doing young people any favors by not teaching them manners.
I would have said something to the teacher, at the end of class. Her class, her responsibility. I probably would have said something to the manager as well, something like, your yoga teacher allows cell phones during class. I can't imagine letting that go, even if you didn't want to confront the woman personally.
I think the reason you didn't say anything was because you didn't want to upstage the instructor. It was her job to tell her. She's the one who screwed up. And, A., she'll pay the price for not managing her class appropriately because now she's going to have to deal with the owner reminding her of her responsibility. What the instructor should do is send the woman a prival email explaining the rule. At the beginning of the class, she can tell everyone to turn off their phones, but a private email is the best route so that this clueless youngster doesn't ignore the instructor...
What would I have done? The same thing I've done before, to be honest. Speak to the instructor. You can go up to her in the middle of the class and whisper to her. One of my yoga instructors started play soft rock in the middle of our work, and I asked her if she could play the music that she had always played before. The drumming kept throwing off my rhythm. I wasn't embarrassed to ask. Turns out that she left her CD at home and just grabbed what was at hand. It was better without any music.
Sometimes you have to help the instructor do her job.
Wow! That's SO inconsiderate.
After many chimes, I might have "chimed" in myself with "could you turn that down? It's so distracting." Or the like.
In a way, it speaks to all of you who held their tongues in sence but she was SO VERY inconsiderate.
The instructor should say something at the start of every class.
I really do not think her age is to blame. I know middle age women who do this kind of stuff.
The teacher/owner needs to tell these people directly. It is not fair that other paying costumers are getting distracted by her phone. The owner/teacher can be very sweet if that works, or she can be firm.
Some older yet savvy woman walked into Trader Joe's with her young adult kids and dog (small fluffy and expensive). The worker told her no dogs in the store and she started with what sounded to be a lie "he is a medical dog." The worker said the dog needed papers to prove he was a medical dog. I was so happy the worker stood up to this woman (she was well groomed and appear to get what she wanted). The dog was put in the car while the 3 shopped. I was annoyed that not one adult stay in the car with the dog.
Who knows why she did that....sometimes people are just oblivious and off in their own world. Give yourself a pass on this one....It caught you off guard. After all , you were there to relax. It probably caught a lot of people off guard. I'll bet you some one would speak up during the next class - maybe even you(even if the instructor forgets to make her announcement).
There are many reasons people don't turn off their cell phones. If I am expecting an emergency call I keep my phone on vibrate and on my person so I can feel it. I would excuse myself then take the call.
She may just not know she should have done differently. The teacher should have told her Please go turn your phone off" when it happened.
If it happens again I'd probably leave and join another class without this person in it.
First off, you should have talked to the instructor before the owner. Class policy should be up to the instructor.
I likely might have mentioned to the instructor privately during class that I can't focus with the constant disruption. She might have mentioned to the instructor beforehand that she is expecting an important call. No excuse, but there's always more going on than we realize.
I don't necessarily think that it was your place to chastise the woman about it. It is the instructor's responsibility to create the appropriate environment. For some people, that might have been appropriate. Next time, ask the instructor early if cell phones will be allowed, so you can decide if you will attend or even just to put it on her/his radar. I know that it's not typical for phones to be allowed, but there is no rule against it. Some people are able to tune out such things and sometimes even make a challenge of it. It might not register for them that you might be bothered.
I would try to give the benefit of the doubt here, and figure she probably needed to check the messages, perhaps she is a doctor or intern or lawyer, or some profession where she needed to check, that being said she should have had it on vibrate. I would have kindly asked her to turn the sound off and please leave it on vibrate if it was necessary for her to be able to check messages. And that should have been enough to give her the clue that if it was not absolutely necessary to have it on, she should turn it off, tho you could say that as well without being offensive. She could actually have kept it on her mat or next to her mat if it was important for her to see them. And it wouldn't have been as much of a disturbance. People understand when you try to be respectful. I used to teach yoga, so I am really shocked the teacher didn't say anything, my only thought is that this girl told her ahead of time she needed it on, and neither one thought of vibrate or completely off(sound and vibrate)but sitting on her mat so she could check it regularly. I would tell her next time you see her in class. Offering options is a nice way of dealing with it, because people just don't think of them. Offering to help, is better than asking her to turn it off. and if she really doesn't need it on, she will get the hint. I thought of another scenario, I have a sick child so this has happened to me, where my daughter is in the hospital and you are there stressed and worrying day and night. she could have a sick child and need to rush back to the hospital at a moments notice but really needed this time to get away and breathe. Just one of many, many scenarios that could have been at play. I often when I see people doing something crazy or inappropriate try to imagine why they are doing that and give them the benefit of the doubt, because sometimes the person racing down the street crazily passing people is trying to get the hospital before their loved one dies, or sometimes thins we can't even think of. Even if they are not all true it gives me a better, kinder picture of the world. Hope this helps some.
