Teenage Internet Usage

I think it depends what she is doing online. I'm guessing she has had some sort of upheval in her life to now be living with you? I would be more concerned with what she is doing online than the amount of time. It is really no differnt than watching TV. I would limit it to 30-60 minutes a night, provided that her homework and family obligations are meet and that she does not seem to become withdrawn into. I would also go on after her and see what she is looking at.

Hi S.,
Just so you know, it is normal for teens to get distracted once they get online. I have an 18 year old daughter who loses track of time online. I know sometimes even for me, I can be on and not realize the time that has gone by. Is she okay with the time limit that you have put on her? I think maybe once she finished her homework, maybe after supper she could go on for an hour or so. Since she has just moved in with you, does that mean she is living in a different town or going to a different school than she was before? If so, she probably uses internet time to instant message or email her friends to keep in touch. At her age, cell phones and internet are their lifelines. Hope this helps!!!
A. Z.

I think you are being more then fair. Reminders can be exhausting. Everytime I have to remind, my energy has to be restored. This means they do something of equal value for me. (Overtime this can add up to alot.) It makes a big difference in my level of engery. And if they don't, when there's something they need from me (a ride, etc.) I'm just to exhausted. My other suggestion is to take it away if you have to remind her. If she's not responsible to follow the rules, she's not responsible for the internet.

Good luck!

I know it can be scary trying to figure out what dangers might be out there online. And the stories in the media don't help. But, the fact of the matter is, the stories that hit the news are a rare thing. That's why it's news. At least she's at home, online, rather than running in the streets getting into God knows what kind of trouble. Since you have a home with significantly younger children, I might assume there isn't much for a 17 year old to do. I could be wrong. But, if she keeps her school work up, and helps around the house when asked, I'd say not to worry about the internet usage too much. I myself spend hours on Myspace and chatting on messenger in the evenings, after my son goes to bed. It can be a valueable tool for being able to contact friends that live too far away, or that have obligations preventing us from hanging out(in our case kids). She probably just is adjusting to the change in environment, and is lonely.

I think that as long as she is doing good in school, and doing her homework at night than an hour or so a night computer is fair. She is 17. If she was younger, then I would think less time was appropriate. She probably isn't going to get off the computer without somebody telling her that it is time. I have 45 younger siblings, and with all them they are more concerned with what they are doing then wathcing the time.....lol!!! I myself, won't be 23 until Apr. but I have 2 kids married and a house, so I am a firm beleiver in just b/c somebody is young, doesn't mean they are irresponsible, or always doing things to get them selves into trouble. If she is being responsible, and doing what she should be, then let her have about and hour a day. A computer can also be a good learning tool. I'd rather have my children (if they were 17) be at home on the computer where I could watch what they were doing, then at school on it, for a computer class, where I had no idea what they were doing. If you are concerned about sites she may be visiting, or inappropriate use of your computer, you can always set parental controls on it.....I hope this helps and good luck. Your niece is a very lucky person to have someone like you who will help out by taking her in!!!!!

Our computer has parental controls that you can make a password to get into. You can set how long she can be on and what type of information you want her to be able to see. That is what I do with my son and it works great. Mind you I still do montior what he is doing but it really helps. I also get a "report card" from yahoo. Yahoo is what we set up as his e-mail and home page. It is great!

Where is the computer in your home. I would want it to be in common area. This way you can monoter her viewing. And she will still have family interaction. We all need this. A laptop will provide this option. My daughter got some wierd emails from men when she was in her early teens. That "myspace" webpage needs montering. Bless you for taking good care of your niece.

What are you trying to solve by her being away from the computer?

As a professional, I am on the computer for hours on end and have made many of my best work connections online...it's a communication medium that (if used properly) can be beneficial. (ie. I am writing to you to help resolve a concern...)

I would pay attention more to WHAT she is doing online and that might gauge how to divert her attention elsewhere.

First of all, two hours should be the weekend time, not during the week. Say, she gets home at 4, add an hour for homework, then dinner (and helping with the dishes) takes another hour, that makes it 6 already. She's gotta have time in there for just hangin out w/the family and shower/other bedtime rituals. One hour is PLENTY! What does a 17 year old REALLY have to find out from the internet for 2 hours a day?!?! Yeah.... not that much. Make sure that all of your accounts are password secured too... I remember what I was like back then!! If you have Windows, you can make different user accounts.... so you could set some limits on things. And finally, 2 words..... EGG TIMER!! You can get one at the dollar store... they're an incredible invention!! LOL If she's not off within seconds of it going off, no computer the following day. ~T.

Oooooh.... and I just read Norma's response... I love that!!

I think the limit you have set is a good one. 2 hours during the week and a little more on the weekend, that's pretty reasonable if you ask me. Maybe try setting a timer that everyone will hear go off so she knows it's time to get off the computer. She may have lost total concept of time while she's on, I know I do ALL the time, lol. Good luck, hope I've helped.