Switching Paci for Lovie

I got rid of my daughter's paci's about the same age--and let me tell you, she was addicted in every sense of the word! I just had basically a celebration day--we started the day by letting her suck on her paci one more time, and then we packed them away together. After that, we went to the store to get her a prize--whatever she chose, within reason, to celebrate no more paci day. She was very fussy the first day, and we struggled a little bit at nap and bed times for the first 3 days, and after that it was like she never had them. In fact, after a month and a half, we went on a road trip, I took one along just in case she had a tough time in the car, and I gave it to her when she was fussing and she did not know how to use it any more! It was much less of a big deal to get rid of them than I thought, and it is way easier to get rid of than the thumb! Good luck!

My daughter was trying to get rid of my granddaughters binky (pac) and they were at the beach and granddaughter dropped binky and a seagull flew by and picked it up and off it wend, she was fussing, and her mother told her that the seagull was going to give binky to her daughter and she was ok with that now no more binky...it was hilarious how it happened but it worked...

N.

not sure what a lovie is but the pacifier, I would just toss...I did with my daughter, had approx 2 wks of transition but we did fine. same way I did the bottle too...1 yr I tossed them all. If you keep them or even 1 for emergencies, you'll never get him off...it's so important he learns to sooth himself. With the thumb-sucking, my daughter does suck her thumb, I can't throw that away so I just accept it. It's decreased but it is still there mostly when she's tired....she'll be 6 in OCT. Thats her way of soothing herself.

Hi!
I can't give you advice on the thumb-sucking because both of my boys used pacifiers. But, they had lovies also. When it got to be time, we simply cut the tip off of the pacifier and gave it to our boy. Neither wanted anything to do with it then and that was it. That may work with the pacifier! I don't think you should try that with the thumb ;-)

I have a question, what is a lovie? Never heard of it? Don't push getting rid of the pacifier. If it comforts him right now that is fine.
My daughter gave her's up when she was a little over 3 and gave them to Santa for her presents that year.

A friend of mine took her daughter to Build A Bear and they put her pacifier in one of the animals that she picked out and she sleeps with it every night. This may be a good one. I would have done that with my daughter but Build A Bear wasn't around then.

Be patient and don't rush them growing up.

I think forcing the issue will only make it worse. The thumb and paci will go away when they are ready. Start acting like you don't care about it & I bet you'll see a difference.

Also, have you considered not sending the paci to daycare with him. If he doesn't have it, they can't give it to him.

Every child is different and there isn't one sure fire way to make kids stop. My oldest never used a paci. My almost 4yo gave his up all on his own when we were on vacation when he was 10 months old and my almost 3 yo gave his up on his own at 6 months. My middle one is the only one that sucks a thumb. He is somewhat trying to suck it less, but it's on his terms. Kids are very independent as toddlers, at least they think they are.

good luck

First of all, maybe you should make sure that you and the preschool are on the same page with the pacifier issue. I know a good way to completely wean from that when you are ready is to cut the tips of the paci's off. Why do you want to switch you daughter over? All you are really doing is ending one habit to start another. When she starts school you will then have to break her of the lovie too. If it were me, I would let her keep the blankie but also make that a nap and bedtime routine like the thumb sucking. In fact, maybe you can start working on replacing the blankie for naps and such to completely break the thumb sucking habit. I know many people that are still attached to a special blanket but they just don't carry it around all day. At three she can understand what you are saying so all you need to do is help her to know what is acceptable and what is not. Then you have to break that habit and replace it with a new one. That can take up to three weeks or so to start a new habit. So be patient and consistent!!

I have heard from friends and family when it was time to get them off the paci they also cut the tips off and said they were broke and didn't have any new one's. This seemed to work for them but then were around 3 and 4 years old when they did this.

Try not to send a paci to day care. None of my children did pacifiers but I had a thumbsucker until she was 8 years old...UGH! Good luck!

Relax, you are doing okay....I would stress to the Day Care
however my wishes about not giving son the paci until he is
going down for a nap....3yr old with just a blankie and thumb
is okay when it is just nightime....she is stop herself from
the thumb gradually if she is already just doing it at bedtime.
Grammy (G.)

Hi T.,

First, I know you want to do the right thing for your children. All the books out there tell us how we should or shouldn't do things. Some of it great, some of it just downright ridiculous:) I'm not here to tell you what you should do. I don't even think I have any suggestions because 2 of my children used a pacifier until age 3 or 4, my 3rd child still sucks her thumb -she's 7, but it's more out of habit and hardly does it at all, even at bedtime. My 4th just never got attached to either:) Maybe because she was so attached to my breast for 3 years! LOL. So, I come from a completly different mindset about lovies, pacies, etc. It's not the right way or the wrong way, just my way. I just have some questions for you to ask yourself ok?

What is YOUR attachment to your children NOT using something to soothe themselves?

What are your true feelings about them using a paci or lovie, or thumb? Do you feel that it's a bad thing, or that others will view you as a bad or lazy mom? Or think your children should be more independent?

What is the worst thing that could happen if they continue to self soothe with their thumb or paci for a while longer?
What is the best thing that could happen if they stop RIGHT NOW? OR the worst thing that could happen if they stop RIGHT NOW?

When you read all the books out there on lovies, paci's etc. Or any other parenting matter, How does it feel in your body when someone ELSE, an expert, is telling you to do something different than you are doing? Do you feel upset or shamed or embarrassed like you are doing something wrong and then think you should change what you feel is right for YOUR baby?

Why do you feel that your daughter isn't getting attached to a new lovie? (hint...maybe her thumb is her lovie, and she's already very attached to it:)

See the thing is dear, you weren't doing anything wrong in the first place. You intrinsicly felt and knew that your children needed something to help them soothe themselves and as a nurturing mamma, let them do it. Now I'm not saying that you should or shouldn't let your son keep his paci forever, or your daughter suck her thumb into her teens. I'm not saying don't listen to others or stop reading books. There are tons and tons of really wonderful suggestions, advice, other moms, experts in parenting and child development to help us all. It takes a village yes? What I am saying is listen, really listen to your children. What are they telling you they need? Then really listen to your own inner wise mamma. What is she feeeeeeling and knowing what is best for your children?
I often - almost always- respond to other moms with this deeper connection to themselves as wise woman/mamma. Even to very simple questions. Because they often aren't that simple. You asked "what am I doing wrong?"...there is something else you are feeling.
We are all hunting, searching for something. Something more meaningful. Something that helps us connect on a deeper level with our children, our partners, our family and friends, to eachother, and mostly to ourselves. Our inner wise woman, our love warrior knows this....because really we are love. Connect with her and you will know the best thing to do with your children's delightful paci, lovie, thumb sucking ways.

In peace,
A.
mom of 4, Birth and Parenting Mentor
www.birthingfromwithin.com

T.: You are not missing anything. Actually, the pacifier will be much easier in the long run to get rid of. My oldest sucked her thumb pretty long (she did it privately until Kindergarten or 1st grade I believe). With my son and his pacifier I think we waited until he was close to two and then we said it went bye bye. We gradually weaned him from it like you are doing, maybe you can just not take it to daycare and see what happens. My son had a hard time for a few days to a week, but he adjusted really well. We hid it in case we needed it. We told him it went bye bye and he eventually stopped asking for it. I would try not taking it to daycare and see how that works. If he is miserable I'd give him a little more time. I know you are probably hearing comments from those who didn't give it to their kids or about his age. However, every child takes a different amount of time to adjust. I think the best thing is to not feel you are doing anything wrong, relax and give it some time.
Take care,
K.

When my daughter turned 2 I decided to get rid of the pacifer before she became a more strong willed toddler. I didn't do any lovie thing, just cut it down to bedtimes. I kept them out of sight and then I just didn't give it to her unless she asked and then eventually she didn't ask for it anymore. I would guess you still have the pacifer at his school because they are supposed to use it at naptime. Just ask them to put it out of sight and only give it at naptimes when asked for until you break the habit completely.
Now my 2 month old is starting to want to thumbsuck which I don't want her to do because you can't take away her thumb and she isn't too crazy about the paci either.... but thats another story... good luck!

Hi T.- I got my daughter off the paci by having the "mimi fairy" (she called a paci a mimi) come. I got a pail from the dollar section at target and let her paint it (stickers also an option). We collected all of the paci's and placed them in the pail. I wrote a letter to the fairy and read it to her and we put it outside. We told her that there were babies that needed the mimi's and that she was a big girl. When we checked on them the next morning, the fairy left her a scooter. She never looked back. She had also only used it for sleeping, so the transition was easier than I thought. Also, try not sending it to day care. Send him with a picture of it instead. Good luck!

For me, I just took them all away one day. Make him part of the process - have him gather them all up from around the house. I know he's young, but we "sent" them away to babies that don't have any pacis. If you think he'll understand, try that. If not, I'm not too sure what else to suggest as my kids gave theirs up very easily, so I didn't have to struggle long! (sorry). Also, stop sending him to daycare with the paci. I have to mention your daughter, though. I'm sorry to say this, but you are buying more trouble "switching" her from one bad habit to another! My daughter sucked her thumb (only at night) until she was 5 and it has caused so many problems with her teeth, palate and tongue, she's 9 now and we are looking at a long and expensive run with the orthodontist. I used a product called "Thumb Guards" and they worked great! Get rid of the thumb sucking, but don't replace it with anything else. She should get to sleep on her own. Good luck!

Just to throw this piece of advice out there - our ped and dentist actually recommend keeping children on the paci unti they naturally wean usually between ages 3 and 4. This is because they have found that if you remove a paci before the child is ready, they will usually replace it with a finger or thumb which is much harder to break and causes more damage to teeth and mouth shape. My daughter just turned 3 and she is doing well weaning from the paci without any issues. I'm working slowly so she still uses it at night, but most mornings she is now waking without one so I know she will be off it soon. I would watch your son to see if he has a tendency to put his fingers or thumb in his mouth when he doesn't have a paci and make a decision from there. As for the day care, I think you should just talk to them and let then know your preferences. If they still don't follow, then try to stop sending a paci with him to school and see what happens. Good Luck.

Hello T.,

My son was a paci baby. What I did was cut all the paci's and gave them to him and when he tried to suck it I told him it was broken. We tried all the paci's and they were all broken and WE put them all in the TRASH. Then at night or sleepy time he got to pick out one thing to sleep with. I hope this helps. Good Luck...BTW I have a 12 month old that is a thumb sucker too!!

Sincerely,

N. M Mother of a 3 1/2 year old boy and a 12 month old girl

throw the paci away, that's the easiest way to do it. Granted there will be a few rough days at daycare probably & you may have a couple rough nights, but he'll learn that it's ok. The only other thing is to get rid of the ones at day care & then only use them at your house and only for night, that way you can slowly wean him off of 'em. Depending on the type of paci you may be able to just cut a tiny hole in the tip, or if it's a soothie brand use a darning needle to poke a hole in it and it wont work right, & chances are he'll toss it himself. That's what I did with my DD #2

Both of my kids were thumb and blankie kids. I loved it because I was a thumb and blankie kid. I sucked my thumb till I was 6. They got hooked when the were able to put their thumb in their mouth. I would rock them to bed, they would suck their thumb and I always had a blanket for them to hold when they would lay down so I could cover them up. They did have their favorites. My son was a soft fuzzy one, my daughter was any one that had silky edges.

They both mostly sucked their thumb when they had their blanket. So we started limiting when they could have their blanket. Only in the car (no more taking it in the store)only on the couch, in bed. So the thumb sucking stopped on its own when they turned 2. They still have blankie days my daughter would love it if she could have 3 at a time. I made a huge full size quilt out of my sons old shirts and that is what he likes to sleep with. Sometimes he will ask for his special small fuzzy one.

On certain occasions I will see their fingers in their mouth or a thumb but only when their mouth hurts or they are not feeling well.

So it will come and go when they are ready. I still have a special pillow so we all need comfort in some ways.

Little about me: SAHM of 2. 1 boy 4 years just started pre-school. 1 girl almost 3 years daddys little princess.