Stress...how Do You Handle It?

I stress over the little things and do have a nervous stomach as well. I find that walking helps or just writing down how I'm feeling if I'm feeling mad then when I'm done with that, crumpling up the paper (It's kind of like you're throwing away the feelings you don't want to have any more) I wrote it down on and throwing it away. Or just writing poetry, listening to calming music, or if I'm not busy with other things soaking in the tub. When things get bad I treat myself to Ben & Jerry's Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough icecream :-)

Exercise, alcohol, and sex...not necessarily in that order ;-)

I read a book called "Spark: the revolutionary new science of exercise and the brain". It describes scientific studies that have shown that 30 mins of intense exercise each day is as effective as commonly prescribed anti-anxiety and anti-depressent medications. I guess I already knew this from experience, but it was great to see this proven.

This might sound strange, but when I worry or get really sad about something, I take a shower, and imagine all of my worries and problems washing off of me down the drain (this is in addition to my morning regular shower). Some days I just rinse, other days I have to scrub to feel cleansed. I always feel better afterward, because my problems don't seem so overwhelming.

I also sing. A LOT. I used to be a voice major in college, and singing really helps relieve stress because you're controlling your deep breathing. I sometimes lay on the floor, put a dictionary on my tummy, and sing. Doesn't really matter what kind of songs, just focus on the breathing.

I'm strange. :)

You are so not alone. I feel you girl! I get so stressed out sometimes I just want to curl up in bed and stay there! The thing about anti-anxiety meds is that they will ease the symptoms of anxiety disorders but they will not show you how to cope. Coping with stress and anxiety are things we need to learn. I struggle with this a lot, but I'm learning. I've accepted that I need to give myself the time during the day to decompress. After my kids go to bed, it's 'me' time. I take a hot bath, read, do something (besides watch TV) that gives me some stress relief. Exercising also helps but it's hard to get motivated to do that at first.

I actually do take an antidepressant because I've been dealing with clinical depression since age 14. It helps but like I said, if I don't cope, the stress is still there.

I owe it to my family to figure out ways to help myself. I'm a work in progress, but progress is progress!

Best wishes to you, you are NOT alone!!!

deeeeeep sigh. We working moms have it tough - we do. This was never God's plan for our lives to be doing all the work men do AND all the work women do. I would have loved to be the one to raise my children, nurture & teach them and have my husband provide & protect. Oh well!

I'm in a professional position and have the "luxury" of working part time. But mys huband thinks that I should do EVERYHTING at home and still make good money. HA!

I've learned to relax my standards. My home is no longer as clean and neat as I'd like it to be. Yeah it bugs me - but I ahve teenagers now and if they want "stuff" which ocsts money - they do some of the work. When they were younger I had a cleaning lady.

I pray alot - So many things can add stress to our day - sick elderly parents, teenagers, kids' medical probelms or learning disabilities, work, client, spouse inlaws AHHHHHHHHH (as I run screaming from the room!) ;o) I ask God for his discernment, for guidence & clarity. I have to step out in faith and hand things over to Him knowing that He will take what others see as bad and turn it around for a good thing. I don't know how that happens but I've seen it. When I wake up at 4 and can't fall asleep I pray and find that I fall asleep pretty quickly after talking to God - with a deep sense of peace. I saw a plaque - it read - when you can't sleep don't bother counting sheep - talk to the shepherd. ;o)

At first I wondered what judgment you were talking about. Then I actually thought about your question and realized the you chose to have the kids so don't complain about dealing with them comments would probably come up.

You're not alone. I work FT outside my home although I only have 2 kids I feel stressed out n overwhelmed too. I finally had to start taking a day here n there off work to have time for myself and get things done without kids to tend to. I suggest that you do the same. Take off a day at first to just get errands and projects tackled. Reward yourself with a simple coffee at the coffee shop or walk or whatever you liked to do before you had all the kid stuff to tend to as a reward for tackling whatever to dos that one day. Then plan another day to do something fun for yourself. I do facials. If you feel guilty taking this day for yourself look @ it this way. If you take a day to get a facial and get hair styled think of it as creating a professional look for work.

Exercise, good food and ask for help have probably already been suggested so I'll skip those.

It feels as though you're alone huh. Well you're not. I'm with you there. I'm on the verge of crackling under. I don't handle too much stress very well. I think it's amazing that you have a full time job and three kids to take care of. Kudos to you. Being a parent is a 24/7 challenge sometimes. We are blessed with our children and it's ok to feel overwhelmed. I have taken Klonopin before to help level me out when things got really tough. It got me through some pretty tough times....and I'm considering asking my doctor for help again. I hate asking for help though. I get embarrassed.
Today I cried for most of the day. My husband lost his job back in january and still hasn't found a job. I've applied to several places, and so has he. We only have one vehicle and we are going to miss this month's payment. We're scared that we may lose it and end up with no vehicle at all.

Life is sure challenging at times. Have you tried any relaxation techniques? I have. They work. One of them I try is taking slow deep breaths and exhaling it all out slowly. It helps me to calm down.

Try taking a 'me time' break and go off and do something with your friends if you can.

I just wanted you to know you're not alone. :-D

You’re definitely not alone. *hugs* You describe to the T exactly how I used to be several years ago until I had an anxiety attack. It felt like I was having a heart attack! I probably would have kept pushing myself beyond my limits, so that was a good wake-up call. My PCP referred me to a counselor. Best thing I have ever done! It was great to have someone listen to me and help me realize why I was so adamant about stressing myself out. At that time in my life I was a full-time college senior, working full-time in a crazy busy finance/sales type environment, worrying about my mama who had recently decided she wanted to live 300 miles away from us all by herself on a large rural ranch where she has to haul water and chop her own wood. I was constantly worried that something would happen to her and we would not be around to help her. The counselor would ask me things like… “What would happen if your mother passed on?” I remember thinking WTH?!! But, in the end, it forced me to realize that I cannot control everything! If my mama got hurt and couldn’t get herself to the hospital she would pass on and I would be EXTREMELY DEVISTATED, but….my life would still go on. That’s the thing I had to learn. LIFE GOES ON. If you don’t make the bed or clean the bathroom for a week, guess what…. life goes on! There are some things that will never change. Accept that and move on. Change the things that you have direct control over. IE: weed out stressful relationships and simplify your life – do you HAVE to be involved in all the activities you are currently involved in, as an individual, and as a family? Make a skeleton list of what truly matters and stick to that until you can learn to take on more again. Take extra good care of YOURSELF. :) There is only so much you can offer even for your babies. But if you don’t take care of yourself, you can’t help anyone else. Wear a rubber band around your wrist. Each time you start to worry or think of all the “what ifs”, snap that rubber band around your wrist and tell yourself, “STOP!” Say it out loud and visualize a giant bright red stop sign! You have to retrain your mind to STOP worrying. Make time for things you used to love and don’t feel bad for taking some time out for yourself! You deserve it! *Hugs* again.

melatonin to sleep
bcomplex for the energy to get through the day
st johns wart and valerian to calm the anxiety
the occasional big honkin glass of wine or cold beer
I excercise like a mad woman
I busy my mind planning hoildays, gifts, surprises for the people in my life.
I love to cook. I feel a real sense of accomplishment when I feed people something they rave over so sometimes when i'm really stressed out I go inthe kitchen and start opening cabinets looking for something to cook. Chopping and mixing are very satisfying when I'm all worked up.

No judgments here! After reading some of these responses and what people have been through, I really realized I don't handle stress well at all! My husband and I went through a business situation with family several years ago when my son was a year old. Not life threatening by any means, but it was still extremely stressful involving finances and our future, not to mention destroyed family relationships. I started having pains in my chest. Then I started worrying about that. I finally acknowledged I should go to a doctor, but was sure he would find something terminally wrong with me and I would die shortly. When I went in to see him and he did a complete physical, including an EKG, everything came back normal and he said my EKG was "text book". He then asked me if I was under any stress and I just burst into tears. He looked at me for a second and then said, "You might want to talk with someone about that." hahahaha!! It is much funnier now than it was then. That was a wake up call to me to how much stress can physically affect us. Like others said, I realized that I stress the most over things I don't have control over. It helped me to realize that I DO have control over the way I react to things. It also helps me to read/watch things that are funny and/or uplifting. No serious dramas or dramatic books with tragic endings when I'm feeling stressed or overwhelmed. LAUGH!! However you can, laugh. I also tell myself that my kids are young(er) and this is a phase that I need to (get to!) enjoy. The clean/organized home is not my reality right now, but it will be someday. Exercising and taking time out for myself has also helped me find peace and comfort. Having good friends you can count on is another must to get you through hard times, and to enjoy the good times with. We all have the same amount of time every day. Filling that time with things that matter the most is what is important. Good luck!! Oh, and for the sleep thing, try melatonin. : )

Yoga and breathing exercises!

Acupuncture

I just read an article, that said acupuncture helps with stress very much. It was in "Prevention" magazine.

Or, see a Naturopath Doctor. If you want natural alternatives.

Stress... increases cortisol levels. And if stress is constant, the cortisol levels gets 'stuck.' And this is not good. That is why, constant stress, is not good. If affects the body, physiologically and mentally... if hormone/cortisol levels are always on inflated levels.

Exercise.

I try to work out at least 4 if not 5 days a week. I have anxiety as well (I think all Mom's do) and I really feel it when i haven't been able to exercise.

I also take an evening to myself every week - hubby takes one to himself as well - and that greatly reduces both our stress levels.

After years of arguing about the house we hired a cleaning lady that comes twice a month. It's a total luxury but without it the house was ALWAYS a pit and we spent so much time fighting about who was going to clean what - the $100 is so worth it.

Good luck...doing it all is over-rated and tough as hell...

It is very normal to feel what you are feeling. I have learned from some of the other answers myself. So thanks for asking. I find that going for a walk is good. Or just standing outside for a minute and listening to nature. Taking a bath. B-complex to sleep at night. Alcohol on occasion. My husband has recently started to take anti-anxiety meds and they help, but mostly they just make him really sleepy. I would try to do it w/o, but if you need them do it. Or just take a fraction of the dose to get you through. There are lots of emotional energy techniques that are helpful. If you want more info on that write to me. Life gets overwhelming for us all, esp with kids.

You are so not alone. I too worry and obsess about things. I am doing yoga a few times a week (Rodney Yee does have some great DVDs if you can't afford live classes). I also exercise daily by walking the dogs. I am in counceling as well to help control some impusivity issues! She had a great suggestion that I am still working on. Saying things like "have to" "need to" and "should" cause me anxiety so I am choosing to take those phrases out of my vocabulary to help decrease the anxiety. Still I find I can't sleep if my brain will not shut down. Most people can throw a stop sign up in their brains and that can help, but I need to take it further. I need to "paint" my mind black in that I keep running a paint roller through my mind to get the thoughts I'm obsessing over to stop. Then I draw and color the stop sign. Usually at this point I am able to sleep. Find something that works for you. Good luck and know that you are not alone and are completely normal!

Lots of great advice and lots of women who have been through so much ((())) I don't want to be too repetitive but I used to stress a lot and was sick to my stomach all the time and here's what I did that changed all that: 1) I started working out 3-5x/wk, 2) I dropped my hours and schedule at work from FT to PT and avoiding rush hour traffic, 3) I redid my budget including moving to a smaller home, decluttering, eliminating almost all debt, 4) once a week, I do something for me (movie at $2 theater, get my hair done for $6 at beauty school, or get a facial for $7), and 5) accepted the fact that there's no sense in worrying about what I cannot control; if I can control it then I will try to change it to something that's acceptable. Absolutely love my new life and can't remember the last time I had an upset stomach. Good luck!

You're not alone, I'm going through a feeling overwhelmed week myself and sleeping badly is like my body turning on myself, when i need to be at my best, I get uptight, don't sleep well and it undermines my performance...

One way of handling stress is try to do less, not easy if you work and have 3 kids. Take few moments and breathe deeply to calm down. Turn off the radio and listen to calming music or motivational CDs in the car. Check out Mamapedia:-)) Think "Will this matter in a week's time?" Exercise is great, especially yoga but I find it hard to start/get into a routine. Just do some easy yoga stretches before bed at least.

I don't know how old you are but I take Vitex and Evening Primrose to balance my hormones (perimenopausal) and it helps. Some herbal remedies are good (Rescue Remedy), worth trying before you go on anxiety meds.

The suggestion to take a day off of work here and there to relax a bit and get your todo list shorten is a good one. I also find reading books about how hard it is to be a mother help - the "you're not alone feeling etc". Or books about REALLY hard stuff help too. ie: Unbroken by Laura Hillenbrand. If he could live through what he did, we all are on cake walks. Or Little Bee. Makes me appreciate all I have and most of us in this country have. I guess perspective is a good way to put it. And they're fun to read - not boring self help books or something. Confessions of a Slacker Mom is fun.

I play video games ... a good one for a begginer is Dynasty Warriors ... nothing better than slashing thru hundreds of computer warriors to make you laugh and release.