Spinoff-Boys In Women's Locker Room - What About Girls?

Updated on July 18, 2012
N.L. asks from Tampa, FL
10 answers

I know that there are only a few men on here, but how do you all feel about a girl going with her daddy to the men's locker room or men's bathroom? Would this bother you? At what age is this considered inappropriate? At what age would you mamas expect your daughters to go into a ladies room by herself?

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E.F.

answers from Kansas City on

{Eating popcorn} Waiting for someone to say it's no big deal for their little girl to go into a locker room of nude men.

As for my family, there is no way my husband would allow such a thing.

7 moms found this helpful

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B..

answers from Dallas on

As I said in the other post, I had to go into a locker room with my dad once. He made sure the room was empty and then stood at the door while I chnaged wuickly. Men were totally cool with waiting at the door 30 seconds until I was done. No harm there. As for the bathroom...he waited until it was empty, and again stood at the door while I went.

I think men's restrooms are different them women's. Women go in a stall with the doors closed, and men use urinals. A boy can go into a women's restroom and not see anything, but that would be very hard for a girl in a men's room. If I HAD to take my son in a women's locker room, I would make sure no one was nude, or in the process of being nude. Take him into a stall to change, and wait until there was no changing to leave. No that hard. When done that way, there is no reason for anyone to feel violated. I dare any women to tell me I HAVE to let my son go into a men's locker room alone.

5 moms found this helpful
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S.B.

answers from Houston on

This is a great question! My husband hated to bring our daughter into the men's restroom. To be honest, he would generally ask a woman who was going in with her kid if she would mind helping her. He was never turned down and they were happy to help. He would stand right at the door and would yell "how ya doing sweetie"? She would yell back.

You do what you have to do.

5 moms found this helpful

K.C.

answers from Washington DC on

So, I was in Best Buy one day. As some of you may remember, we are certified Forster parents. There's a dad and grandpa with the sweetest little girl and she had to potty ... BAD!! Dad tried several times to take her into a stall in the men's room and each time he came back out with the little girl beside herself and melting down into tears. She proclaimed rather loudly in her cute little toddler voice "It stinks in there!!". So, I offered my help, introduced myself, and explained I was a foster parent. The dad was so grateful and the little one was just happy to go potty in the ladies room.

I think if you can help in a situation like this and the opposite gender parent is amenable, that it's a good idea to at least offer. With "Mom-radar", you can usually tell who's good and who's creepy. Go with those you trust. Even if they just stand outside the stall to protect your young man or lady, it might help everyone feel comfortable.

Best wishes.

ETA: @DanaK ... Here where we are (and LOTS of places we've traveled), there are not baby changing stations in EVERY men's room. Usually, I have DH check before he hauls LO down there, just in case there's not one. We've even run across some that don't have changing rooms in the ladies room ...

4 moms found this helpful
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D.K.

answers from Pittsburgh on

My BIL used to take his daughters into the men's restroom with him. If they were too young to stand outside the door when he needed to go, in they went. If they NEEDED to go and there was no family restroom - they went. Since there are two of them, they probably stopped going in sooner than if there had only been one (he seemed to trust that two of them could remain outside the door without wandering off). I do not recall that he ever took them when he went to the gym by himself.

If your child is not potty trained (and I have seen LOTS of questions on this site involving children through age 4 who are still in diapers) - what is a father supposed to do? That is why they have changing tables in both men's and women's restrooms. I don't see asking a stranger to take a child into the ladies room and change her diaper.

I think a man would feel fairly comfortable sending daughter into a bathroom believing that if she needed help with her clothes, washing hands, etc that a woman would help her and be comfortable with that. I think men would be VERY unlikely to assist an unrelated child in the bathroom BECAUSE of the fear of being labelled a molester.

2 moms found this helpful
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H.W.

answers from Portland on

Just glancing through the previous posts on this topic:

I think we can all agree to disagree. The nice thing would be if the pool facilities would create a 'family locker room' with five or six large 'family stalls' so that families could stay together and the kids would all be relatively contained while naked. And then, they could *heat* that room well so that families who were waiting wouldn't have shivering kids waiting for their shower!

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A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

When DH was a single dad, he had no choice. He potty trained SD and used the men's room if there was no family room (a LOT less common back then). When she was about 7 or 8, he started letting her go in by herself but he kept watch outside and if she took longer than he expected, he'd ask moms going in to look for her. Since he rarely took the kids to a gym or public pool during that time, I'm not sure what he would have done if his sister, myself or another woman wasn't with them. Probably just taken her in, tried to find a stall and gotten out as quickly as possible. Our youngest is almost 4 and if she's with Daddy, she has to go with him. He's had to explain that urinals are not "little sinks" but it's otherwise been fine.

At the pool we attend, there is no family locker room. It's a very small community pool. DD walks down in her suit and typically DH and I are also already suited up. If she is with DH, the lifeguards at the desk will let her walk through the office if DH does not feel comfortable taking her through his side. So far, this has not been an issue. Okay, so may be she doesn't shower before jumping in, but they don't seem to care. We walk home to shower off there.

1 mom found this helpful
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J.T.

answers from New York on

My husband uses the Family changing room, which includes stall bathrooms when he has our daughter. We also make sure she goes to the bathroom before he takes her anywhere AND she is still small enough that if necessary she can use the Potette in the back of the car.

Typically my daughter at 4 can go to the bathroom on her own, but since she still needs help every once and a while we like to stay close.

1 mom found this helpful
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B.B.

answers from New York on

I think girls generally become more independant at a younger age and if she was in a ladies room and needed assistance, women would not feel wierd helping her. And although it is well known that children are most likely molested by people the family knows, in our guts we know that is it much less likely that a girl will be touched in a ladies room by herself than a boy in a men's room by himself. So to answer your question, I think past the age of 4 a girl should not be in the men's room or men's changing room unless there is an emergency.

1 mom found this helpful
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S.M.

answers from Washington DC on

My girls are 4 and 8 and always accompany me. My 8 year old has only gone in on her own when I have checked it out to find it empty and I watch the door in a uncrowded restaurant.

If my husband and I are together they go with me. However, the 4 year old will go in the men's room with my husband if I am not there. He has once waited outside the door of the woman's room for my 8 year old, but we try very hard to avoid this. Such as making sure she goes to th the bathroom at home before they go out. I think she is too old to be in a men's room.

There is no reason the kids need to be in the locker room as the gym has child care with their own bathrooms.

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