Son Is Pulling His Hair Out Literally.

Updated on December 09, 2009
M.V. asks from Fort Collins, CO
9 answers

Hi moms:
My 9 yr old has started literally twisting his hair on the side of his head and the back of his head. We noticed a increase after about 2 months. He had never done this before this school yr and now has a classmate that does it. I volunteer for reading group and noticed it. David has high function Aspergers and so this new habit is literally how he handles worries. I have tried nagging and polite reminders 5- 10 min apart per doctors orders. He can stop for candy in 5 - 10 min increments but then he forgets. He has some very thin bald spots starting to appear. I am running out of patience both me and my husband. The doctor saw him 2 weeks ago and said it is starting to show bald spatch and try the gentle reminders. But it is hard, Just need encouragement I guess any other thoughts. (All men in family have good hair otherwise!)
Thanks M.

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So What Happened?

We are still battling the issue. I have spoken to another doctor who recommended sending a piece of fur/ fabric that he can pull on. Cutting the hair is already done as far as I will go.We live in Colorado and he needs some warmth to his head. I am also looking at the root of the problem( no pun intended), With the anxiety issue we may try herbal remedies. Thank you so much for your suggestions and advice. I do love this site. Thanks ladies!

Featured Answers

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M.D.

answers from Colorado Springs on

I know this may sound silly but maybe you should keep his hair cut to a length where it can't be long enough to grab.

More Answers

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K.L.

answers from Salt Lake City on

My niece was doing this, and they had to put her on medication, which helped tremendously. Apparently it can be a disorder that is pretty easy to treat. She was a bit older though. Autism runs in their family. She is not autistic, but she does have other issues.

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A.R.

answers from Boise on

Often the tactile, self stimulation can be replaced with something else. Let him choose something that he can "worry" on, like a smooth rock, stress ball, or Tangle Toy (they're awesome).

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M.R.

answers from Grand Junction on

I don't have any experience with Aspergers, but I was thinking, maybe give him something else to do with his hands? I know it can't be something distracting in class, but maybe one of those stress balls that people put in their hands and squeeze? I know many adults use things like that to handle stress. I just quit smoking and am thinking of getting one myself!

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S.W.

answers from Salt Lake City on

Please do a Google search on "trichtillomania." (I think that's how it's spelled.) You will get information about compulsive hair pulling. Your son is not the only one, and it's a rather common compulsion. Good for you for being such an attentive, proactive mom. Best wishes!

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C.C.

answers from Salt Lake City on

I wonder if cutting his hair too short to twist would help break the habit he is creating? help him find another release for the anxiety? A good friend of mine's son would take his polo collars and twist and twist them and then chew on the end which put odd wholes in his collars, she got permission from the school to put him in shirts without collars until he felt he was ready to try again. he does great now, but he was collarless for nearly a year (half the school year and then the summer) he was able to go back to the collared shirt this past fall. I don't know if it would work or be an option but it made me think of this, since my friend and I were just recently talking about it.
Good luck.

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C.C.

answers from Salt Lake City on

I have one idea. Instead of just reminding him to stop he needs somewhere else to place the energy he is using to do this. It could be replaced with just about anything you want to encourage him to replace it with. He could gently put his hand over his heart, or pat his hand on his heart, or on a leg, or pat right leg with right hand and left leg with left hand and alternate, or taking deep cleansing breaths or whatever. This is true for all of us we don't just stop a behavior the energy we used to do that needs to be redirected.
Hope this helps

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K.E.

answers from Provo on

M. V,

Try buying this book:

The Hair Pulling "Habit" and You: How to Solve the Trichotillomania Puzzle, Revised Edition (Paperback)

I am a 31 year old woman with trichotillomania, I have been pulling my hair out since I was 8. It is not just a bad "habit", it is a compulsive impulse control disorder. He needs therapy and possibly medication earlier rather than later if you want to break this now and not have it haunt him for a lifetime like it has me. The good news is that with therapy, most kids are able to stop doing it. The longer you do it, however, the harder it becomes to stop. This is due to the complex chemistry of the brain and I will spare you the details unless you want them later. :o)

Your doctor gave you the same advice my parent's doctor gave to my parents 20+ years ago. It did not work. What it did do was cause a lot of resentment. Hair pulling is an emotional coping mechanism. Whenever someone reminded me I was pulling (gently, or irritatedly) I would feel an overwhelming and seemingly irrational surge of rage. The anger response became very disproportionate to the annoyance of being reminded about the hair pulling. It was the biggest feeling of anger I can describe. I still feel this way whenever someone catches me in the act and tries to be helpful by saying "watch your hair, honey" or something like that. As a kid, if my parents did this, I would sometimes pull more just to tick them off. They were at wits end.

The book I suggested is by far the most helpful resource I have ever encountered. It is hard to find a therapist who understands Trichotillomania, believe me. I would find someone who specializes in impulse control disorders, tick disorders, or OCD. I am also very leery of any diagnosis of asbergers, especially in a kid who has trichotillomania. It is possible that he has been mis-diagnosed. Asbergers is very poorly understood, and most of the symptoms of it are the same symptoms of just having a very high intelligence.

Anyway, I could talk about this forever, so I will cut myself off. Please feel free to message me back if you want more personal insight on this issue.

The trichotillomania learning center online is another excellent resource. :o)

Also, "Stay Out of My Hair! Parenting your Child with Trichotillomania"

Much sympathy,

K.

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