Son Is Graduating and Won't Attend Ceremony

I don't know if he's familiar with rally racing, but last year one of the top rated drivers in RallyAmerica, Kyle Sarasin, missed the awards ceremony for his first 1st place finish, because he had to fly home to his HS graduation...

It's obvious that racing is important to him, but this is a big day in his life and he may regret missing it...

Is there maybe a way that he could get a cap and gown and have a little ceremony for you and his dad and stepmom? Or even just to take some pictures in so you have something to remember.

I'm sure this is hard for you, but not all kids want to go to the graduation ceremony. I went to college my Junior and Senior year and felt out-of-place at my graduation ceremony. I went, but I would have been fine not going also. It is actually quite boring and boring for most parents. My Mom also gave me the choice of either having a grad party or getting the money she would have spent on it as a gift. I chose the party over the money because celebrating with my friends and family was more important to me than the money.

Just explain to him why it is important, but don't guilt him into anything because that is what he will remember, doing it because you wanted him to and not because he wanted to.

Hi there,

If this were my son, I would let him skip the ceremony. He has to live with his decision. He might regret it years from now, but then again he may not.

I would, however, tell him that you are throwing him a graduation party and that he needs to attend that. ;-) Remind him that part of being an adult is doing things for your family and friends, often things that you may not "feel" like doing. His needs and wants shouldn't always come first, and it sounds like you have a need to celebrate and mark the occasion. I'm sure he has other family members who feel the same way. To deny a party and your family's chance to celebrate with him and for him gives off a "I don't care about you guys", even if that isn't your son's intention. And I'm not ragging on your son--I remember being a young adult and my worldview was VERY narrow. What didn't affect me didn't concern me.

Tell him he can break away from his car repairs one Sunday for a few hours to celebrate with his family. Hopefully his dad and stepmom will back you up on this. Good luck to you.

I know that this my not be the most popular approach, but I would insist that he attend. My second oldest wanted to skip her graduation. I told her that the graduation ceremony was not for her, but for me. I did not spend 18 years looking after her every educational need, only to miss out on the "prize" so to speak. I also explained to her that my life revolves around my children - I do so much for them. However, when I ask for something really important to me, they need to pay attention and do it, since it isn't very often.

I did not offer an incentive for going to the graduation, but I did do "disincentives" if she didn't go. No graduation means no party, which means no gifts (from me or my side of the family). I also told her that if she didn't attend, that she could not ask me for anything in the future (of course I would feed and clothe her), but no extras like cell phone, gas money, etc.

Finally, I did explain to her that being an adult includes compromise. Up until that point, I had not expected much compromise from her - she was my child. However, graduation is the start of adulthood and the start of learning that everything is not about her wants and wishes, but other peoples as well. That's what make people good adults, good parents, and productive members of society.

Whatever you decide, I wish you luck.

I feel your pain I would be heartbroken.

Give him a ultimatum Graduation Ceremony or Grad Party. Explain to him how much this means to you. I guess you can't force him but have a heart to heart talk.

Good Luck

My son graduated last year and didn't want to attend. He had nothing else going on, he just was not interested. We did not make him go, but I was disappointed. I decided it was more important that he graduated than he went to the ceremony. We did give him a party, there was no choice in the matter. :) I would plan a party and let him help. Good luck and congrats on the graduation.
S.

I was in the hospital but was given the chance to go to my high school graduation and declined. Sometimes ceremonies just arent right for everyone. I am still glad to this day that I didnt attend my high school graduation because I was with my friends and to me that was a lot better experience. I think if your son thinks racing is more important than a graduation ceremony you should let him do what makes him happy. After all the day is about him. Maybe you should see if he would mind you and his father going to his race that night.