Sleeping Habits - Murfreesboro, TN

You've gotten a lot of mixed advice. My experience is it is normal and natural for babies to wake up and nurse. 6 months is still really young. My son woke to nurse until well after a year. She may still be hungry, or just needing comfort; but either way she needs you at this time. Have you tried going to bed when she does. That way you would get at least as much sleep as she does. That's what got me through the first year. As far as resources the No Cry Sleep Solution is a good book, and the Dr Sears family website has some great info http://www.askdrsears.com/html/7/T070100.asp
I know it's hard but you have to listen to what your baby needs.

Wow, change the gender of the baby, and you could be talking about me and my situation...
My son was in the room with me, right next to our bed still, so I had no choice but to get up when he cried.. Then we moved and he had his own bedroom. That made a difference, since his room was very dark, with one very dim nightlight. However, it took some strength on my part, but I made some changes in the way I handled and responded to him also.
First, I stopped nursing him to sleep. His evening feeding was in a bright room, so that he didn't pass out at the nipple as easily. Then we kissed everyone goodnight (dad, sister, me), and laid him down, then closed the door. (Here comes the hard part).. He cried.. and cried.. and cried, and I just went in to try to calm him down, pat his back, but not often. I didn't time it, I just went in when my heart told me to..
After he got the hang of falling asleep by himself (he still whimpers a little but just goes right to sleep), then I started not nursing him when he woke up (which was slightly less often now that he fell asleep on his own) Again, this was very hard, just to hear him cry. Sometimes I would pick him up and rock him, and other times I would just let him stay in his room (yes, crying) until he got the idea that I wasn't coming to get him.
It took about a month, but it gradually got better and easier.. Breakthroughs like his first waking being at 3 am instead of 11 or 12 helped me get through it..
Now he is almost 10 months, and he goes down at 7:30 or 8, and sleeps until 4 at least, usually 4:45 on the dot. I still nurse him then, but it has gotten a lot easier to deal with now that it is the only time during the night. I think we will work on his 4:45 waking like we did his others in the next few months, but almost 9 hours is a very long stretch of sleep for a baby! MUCH better than 2 or 3!!!!!!! (He still goes back to sleep after he nurses early, and sleeps until 6:30 or longer if I don't wake him..
One thing I would suggest: During the time of her "night weaning", she may need your support during the day. Nurse her on demand, and try to facilitate her naps as much as possible ( or discuss this with the babysitter/ daycare). She will be more apt to rest well at night if she is not overtired from the daytime.

I know it will be hard, but stick to it, what ever you decide! And remember, if you are exhausted, you will be less able to handle the stress of being a working mom!!!

Hope this helps.

Good luck!

J.

Have you considered bringing her into your bed? The cereal idea is truly and old wives' tale -- it doesn't work. Some people think it's hard to get baby out of the parents' bed later, but it is not really that difficult, and not nearly as difficult as what you're living through now (we did it twice).

With the baby in bed with you, you can breastfeed and continue lying down to get more rest. The baby often feels more secure and doesn't wake up as much. We waited until the baby could scoot and we had to worry about them falling off the bed before moving them out and they both quickly became good sleepers. If your husband doesn't want the baby in the bed, you could try you and baby on the couch. I'm sure you'll get more rest.

This may not be the kind of advice you were wanting, but it worked well for us. The book "Crying Baby, Sleepless Nights" was an inspiration. Good luck.

I know you may not want to start weaning her off the breast, but if you pump a bottle and have your husband feed her at night, that might help. Tell him to make sure he holds her close and try to get the bottle next to his body so it simulates mommy. Also, if he has a piece of clothing that has the 'mommy scent' on it and have that next to her face while she is drinking the bottle that may help too. Anything that will simulate mommy. As she gets older she will realize it is dad and take more feedings from him. Use just a small bottle so he can get it really close to his body. We did that with my daughter and it worked. I didn't want to start weaning her, but for the one bottle at night, it didn't make a difference to her and she and dad became very close from that.

E.

This is like reading a journal entry of mine from a couple years ago. Working, nursing, pouty husband, and restless baby. I couldn't bear to let him cry so I always went to him. I tried rocking, walking, humming, you-name-it, before I'd nurse because you're not "supposed" to nurse a baby to sleep.

At around the 10 month mark, in a state of extreme sleep deprivation, I tucked the baby into bed with us at his first waking of the night.

It was the best thing I ever did. I should have done it months earlier. (In fact, with my second baby, I did it from the beginning.)

Baby's telling you she wants to nurse. It's for food, it's for comfort, who cares. Tuck that baby in with you and get some sleep, honey. If hubby wants to help that much, he's welcome to go fetch the baby at her first waking and carry her to you. (And if you don't want baby in your bed all night, he can carry her back to the crib when she's asleep again. But I promise it'll be easier just to leave her there.)

She'll grow out of it on her own. The night-wakings and the bed-sharing. There's no need to try and manipulate the baby into doing these things early. That's just added stress.

Plus, as a working mom, all that snuggle time at night is good for the soul. Your and hers. Dad's too probably. I really encourage you to try it.

We've had good luck with pumping and feeding our 3 month old son extra before bed.
It's slightly a pain b/c I still get up in the middle of the night to pump so I have "extra milk", but I'd rather do that in the peace & quiet than have him awake :)

try keeping her up a little later like 8:30. i see you said the doc said give her cereal but you didnt say if you have tried it. i also ended up using cereal in her bottles. the doc said it was ok so we tried it and it worked great! it sounds like you are just breast feeding so i would suggest pumping and adding some cereal to a bottle so hubby can feed her. alot of times breast fed babys eat more often and arnt held over as long as formula fed babies so you may want to try the cereal. good luck hope this helps!

First, your daughter is nursing in the middle of the night because she is hungry. At 6 months she can eat a breakfast of cereal and a baby food jar of fruit, lunch with a different kind of cereal and a baby food vegetable, and dinner with a different kind of cereal and a baby food vegetable and a baby food fruit. If she is not on three meals a day gradually introduce those meals. Feed her the breakfast and dinner at home so that you know she is getting enough to eat at those two meals. Drop in at the daycare at lunch time and see what they are feeding her. If your job is such that you cannot leave work then ask the daycare to report to you how much she eats for lunch every day. You can also give her a snack before bedtime. My kids loved yogurt for a snack. We gave them plain yogurt when they were babies. The first thing I did when I walked in the door after work was nurse the baby. Then I cooked dinner and fed the baby while we ate dinner. After dinner I would give the baby a bath and then nurse the baby to sleep.

Second, you are putting her to bed too early. Try 15-20 minutes later per night and get her to an 8:30 or 9:00 bedtime. Nurse her well before she goes to sleep. If you are tired at the end of the day then your milk supply will be lower. Drink a huge glass of juice or water when you walk in the door from work. Eat a healthy dinner. Pump after she nurses to increase your milk supply.

Third, she may be nursing more frequently because your milk supply is low. Make sure you are getting enough rest, eating nutritious meals, and drinking plenty of fluids. If your milk supply is low she will nurse more frequently. Take a case of bottled water with you to work and make yourself drink more fluids during the day. Don't skip lunch. Eat lunch every day. Nursing moms need to go to bed earlier than you normally do. Try going to bed 30 minutes to an hour earlier than you normally do. You will be surprised how much that extra 30 minutes or an hour of sleep helps.

Fourth, if your husband is not helping around the house he needs to start. If you cook dinner he needs to do the dishes. While you nurse the baby to sleep he needs to pick up the house and put in a load of laundry. Just those little things will help you get to bed earlier and get the rest you need as a nursing working mommy.

Fifth, the only way to get any sleep as a nursing working mom is to put the baby in bed with you in the middle of the night to nurse her. My babies would nurse on one side and make little noises and wake me up and I would put them over my stomach to burp. I would switch them to the other side and they would nurse and fall asleep. I would usually wake back up when they fell asleep and nudge my husband and he would put the baby back in the crib.

Now, you are not going to want to hear this, but, my oldest son nursed twice in the middle of the night until he was a year old and he nursed once in the middle of the night until he was 18 months old. He was a hungry baby. He was off the growth chart for height and weight until he was in school and then he was at the 90th percentile. He is 18 years old now and he still eats all the time. He is 6'0" tall and weighs 215 pounds. He plays 4 sports and needs a lot of food for fuel to do that. Some kids just need more to eat and it started when he was a baby. He still gets up some nights in the middle of the night and gets something to eat or a glass of milk. He is just a hungry kid.

Last thing, nap on the weekends during the day when the baby naps. You cannot believe how much a little nap on the weekends will help!

Enjoy your baby!

My son was 1.5 years before he gave up the 3 am feeding. It didn't matter how much he ate before bedtime. I agree that the most sane solution is to have your daughter get used to a bottle in the middle of the night. Even if you have to introduce formula. I was stubborn and would not do any sort of bottle for way too long--I was exhausted and grumpy all the time. If I had to do it again, I'd have shifted some of those night feedings to my husband, even if it meant introducing formula. Mommies need their rest, too!

Is your daughter on the small end of the scale for weight and height? If so, then it's probably best to keep nursing her at night. My first child fell in that category and the pediatrician told me to just go with it until his first birthday--I know that's not what you want to hear, but as moms we do all kinds of things that are h*** o* us for the sake of our kids!

However, regardless of your daughter's size, it's also completely normal for babies to nurse twice a night until they're nine months old. And it's good to keep in mind that "sleep through the night" for babies means sleeping 6-8 hours straight, and since they go to bed much earlier than we do, their 6-8 hours will most likely not match up with our sleep hours. I would not try to get her to go to bed later than she does now. She's following her natural sleep cycle, and you open up a whole new can of worms when you mess with that.

If your daughter is not small-ish for her age, it sounds like this is really more of a sleep problem than a hunger problem. I recommend that you get a copy of Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child by Marc Weissbluth. There are a lot of things about sleep and babies that is counter-intuitive, and this book is fantastic at explaining it all--and it covers night feeding issues too. Your daughter is at the age now where she is used to having you there to soothe her back to sleep by nursing whether she really needs the milk or not. It may simply be a matter of getting her used to soothing herself back to sleep.

In the mean time, follow the timeless advice (if you can) of napping when your baby does, and pump or supplement with formula so your husband can give a bottle at either the 12:30 or 3:30 feeding. Other than that, just try to accept that this is how life is for a period of time. It does not last forever, and there will come a day when you sleep like a normal person again. :) Good luck!

A cereal bottle really doesn't keep them fuller longer, it's just a myth (sorry). I find that it is worth it to keep baby up a little later than baby wants, about thirty to forty-five minutes. This helps my daughter to fully feel tired and sleep deeper and longer. Also remember that between six and twelve months baby can go through an abandonment faze. It is very common for a baby who usually sleeps through the night to begin waking up again. They are usually just looking to be comforted and assured that mommy and daddy are still there and love her. Most times the most comforting thing for baby is to be held and fed due to the closeness and eyecontact. If you do use any form of bottle you could alternate with daddy during the night holding her, rocking her, and giving her a few ounces of plain nursery water. She doesn't necessarily need the food and calories during the night so water will help soothe with the feeding position and a bonus for keeping baby hydrated. My daughter is 8 1/2 months and has been doing this since five months, but has backed off to one or two nights a week. Hang in there.

I actually won't be able to give you advice, but I wanted to let you know that you aren't alone. I have 3 boys and my youngest is 7 months. All of the other boys never had any trouble sleeping through the night by this age. The baby is bottle fed and we've tried feeding him cereal late, and also feeding him more ounces through the night. He generally wakes up at 2am and then at 5am. My husband and I are both working fulltime and very exhausted. We think a lot of our problem is that we have a 2 year old sleeping across the hall and don't want to wake him up. So we end up hurrying up to do whatever it takes to keep the baby from crying. He does us a pacifier, but lately he gets so frustrated he spits it out. We were actually wondering if there will be a end to this soon. I wish the best for you and hope we both get some sleep soon. I will be waiting here the advice from others too.

Have you tried what the doctor recommended??
It sounds like she needs more food, probably growing, teething, and at this age is about when their appetites increase and sometimes they do need some cereal or gradual introduction to solid foods.
If she is waking up hungry ever few hours, I think the doctor's advice would be the first thing to try. Personally in my opinion, at this age, to let her cry is not acceptable, she doesn't understand and obviously needs feeding, holding, loving, assurance.
Also try pumping an extra bottle and let dad share the getting up time, so it gives you a break. It'll also help the bonding between baby and daddy.
Remember: This too shall pass, and believe it or not, someday you'll actually miss it!!
My 6 month old granddaughter goes down around 8:30 p.m. and sleeps through until around 6 a.m., is fed cereal and 1/2 jar of fruit about 7:00 p.m., then bottle around 7:45 - 8:00 p.m. then to bed. She's been pretty consistent about it for about a month, before that she woke up once a night around 2 a.m. for a feeding. But remember too that every baby is different and sometimes you just have to find out what works the best. She might gradually go into sleeping through the night over the next few months.

Hi A.... I'm sorry you are losing sleep but it is very natural for a baby to wake up, a breastfed baby to wake up a few times a night because it's so easily digested... we weren't really meant to be moms and work too but since you do, I'd say you should just nurse her right back to sleep so you both can get back to sleep fast... you are doing the right thing. Breast is the best you can give your child... mine still wakes up to nurse and the faster I nurse her the faster she goes back to sleep... she is almost 3 and I still nurse and so I guess I"m biased. But don't expect her to sleep through the night so fast. It ain't natural! All the best, keep it up and try to accept the situation as it is.

I'm sorry, but she is probably hungry or just in need of some reassurance thst you are available...and I know you don't want to hear it, but she needs to be nursed. It will get better and to be honest twice a night isn't bad. My daughter is eight and a half months and has varied waking between 1 and 5 times a night...currently about twice a night, but she does wake more when she is teething and it hurts and she needs some soothing! Have you thought about cosleeping? Then you could get more sleep... I wouldn't let her cry...just nurse her when she starts to stir and you both can be back to sleep in minutes...

i agree with the posting that said it is not unusual for babies to nurse at night until around 9 months. She also recommend the Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child book by Marc Weissbluth - great book for understanding sleep - not so much my style for his cry it out approach, but a fantastic resource for understanding sleep. I strongly disagree with anyone who has suggested you put her to bed later. DON'T DO IT! You will then have an overtired cranky baby on your hands who will have trouble falling to sleep and that will introduce even more sleep deprivation. As everyone says, it will pass and she will eventually not wake at night for feedings. Good luck.

My son had the same routine. He was exclusively breastfeed until 6months, and then we started incorporating solids at that time. It wasn't until 9 months when my doctor gave me the ok to let him cry it out though (because that was when my doc felt that it was truely a habit and not that he was actually hungry (since he was always on the smaller side of the weight percentiles). It was also at a the time when no teeth were coming in. Doing cry it out took 3 nights, and was rough on our parenting skills, but was totally worth it.

Both of our kids woke up 2 times a night to be fed till they were 12 months old. We did cosleeping, we did cereal for dinner, they still woke up.Is it normal. SOme people get fortunate to have babies sleep through the night at 2 months , but most babies wake up. SOrry to say, it's just life as parents.If you have grandparents/good friends ask them to come and sleep over so you can get some sleep. Hang in there, it will get better(well sleepping will, but there will be other battles:))

As a Mom and Dad your days of uninterrupted sleep is over. I know you have heard that before! Have you tried the ceral because I had good luck with that. Also if she is 6-1/2 months old and you and your husband are both holding down jobs have you thought about weaning her. A bottle would make it easier because your husband could help or you could pump a bottle for during the night.

Hi A.,

sorry you are so exhausted. I have also worked full-time while breastfeeding. Here are a couple things that worked for me.

Try pumping and letting your husband give her one of the feedings in a bottle. That way, you may be able to get a few extra hours of uninterupted sleep.

Here's the other thing. Babies at that age dont' NEED food - they want comfort and it becomes a habit to demand to be fed -or nursed, specifically. If you are really brave, you could take a weekend and just let her cry and not give in. Eventually, she'll learn to not wake up. This is very hard, emotionally on mom though and takes a dedicated spouse. I finally did this with both of mine around 12 months. After that, they have slept well through the night most nights.

GOOD LUCK!
M.

Oh my goodness, this is exactly what I'm going through. My daughter is 6 mos. and I work full time and she goes to bed between 7 and 8 and she gets me up all through the night starting at 12 or 12:30. She did sleep in her cradle but she wakes up even more if she's in it so I just started sleeping with her to make it easier on me since I have to get up at 5:00 but it's still not working out so well. She will not go back to sleep unless I nurse her. I feel like an open buffett bar for her all night. I love nursing her but it would be so nice to get some sleep. I don't have any advice...just thought it was to funny seeing this letter and knowing EXACTLY what your going through! I will be reading the responses you get, people will probably say to put her in her own bed and shut the door which I just can't do. Hopefully you and I will get some good advice!

Wow, A., YOu've received a lot of responses...passionate responses. There are a lot of moms out there who are trying to get a good night's sleep!!!

Babies at different stages wake at night for many different reasons. Current popular strategies are hard to wade through and find what's right for your family...

I found answers that resonated with my heart at La Leche League. THe women there have been through this and will support what ever your decisions are. They have up to date information and articles on solids, cereals, sleeping, etc.

Find a local group:

http://www.lllofnc.org/LocalGroups.html

And you'll find a circle of friends!

Try not putting her to bed so early. Babies at that age usually get up at least twice a night though. I know one of mine did. Actually twice is night is good. Some babies want to nurse all night long like my son did. Now that is exhausting. Good luck! I am expecting my third child in December and will be going through all that again. It is rough when you have to work and cannot get a nap during the day.

A little about me:

A WAHM of two, son and daughter, 4 and 2, and third on the way.

By that age, she does not need to eat at night and has simply adjusted to the habit of waking up. If you can suffer through a few days (or more), simply don't go in to get her. Ask your hubby to wear ear plugs to bed, but if your child has a sufficient number of wet diapers throughout the day, she does not need to eat at night. She will need to be trained to sleep through the night and ignoring her cries is not mean or uncaring. You are the parent so be in control and let this next stage of her growth be approach like the many to come - it's for her good and the good of the house that she learn to sleep and stay in bed. Also, do it now before she figures out how to climb out of the crib! You'll regret having not done this when she's old enough and big enough to get out when she wakes up. She'll adjust and she won't hate you for it. Good luck!

I probably will sound rude and crude, but the only way to 'break' babies' bad habits is to bite the bullet and let them 'suffer' a little. I mean, if you were in the habit of your husband fixing you a nice bowl of your favorite flavor of ice cream at 1:30 a.m. every night (and pretending that ice cream was your FAVORITE food in the world and you couldn't get it from anywhere else except hubby fixing it for you), wouldn't YOU wake up for it each night? LOL Even babies need to learn that the world DOESN'T revolve around them and that EVERYONE sometimes has to make adjustments in their schedule to accommodate everyone ELSE. Let her cry. She won't die (I made a rhyme). Never did a baby die from crying a couple hours (unless something else was drastically wrong, I mean). And believe me, it's harder on parents than on the baby. (Guess who'll remember it, like, 'forever'. (??) NOT her!) Do it on a Friday night (assuming that you and your hubby both work day shift Mon-Fri). 'Buck up' and 'just do it' (like Nike says). You won't be sorry. (I'm 'Mom' to 4 grown kids and 'Mom-Mom' to 3 little ones).

Blessings 2 U!

I do not know why doctor's believe that babies stop getting hungry at a certain age. It's amazing, they believe every child is different as far as crawling, walking, talking, but amazingly they should all stop being hungry at the same age.

I too work full time and nursed my baby at night. My son woke up at night to eat until he was almost 12 months old. You cannot tell me that when a baby wakes up at 3AM and eats like he's never had anything before in his life that he is neither hungry or thirsty. I made a rule, that I would nurse him twice in the middle of the night, but after twice, my husband was giving him a bottle of formula. If you are pumping a lot during the day, those nighttime nursing sessions are probably working to help keep your milk supply up.

I agree with bring the baby in the bed and nursing her without getting up. It's so much easier just to roll over and nurse than to get up, get the baby up, put the baby back down. Way too much work for a working mom. Once you latch her on, you can go back to sleep and when she's done, she'll soon learn to pop off and fall back to sleep. Soon you'd be able to do this without even fully waking up. I bought one of those toddler bedrails. My son slept between me and the bedrail. After he started sleeping through the night consistently (around 13 months), I moved him into his crib beside of my bed.

Also, I do think that 7:30 is quite an early bedtime. My son, who is 17 months old, goes to bed at 9PM. He is (and always has been) a 10 hour a night baby. He sleeps from 9PM to 7AM (I have to be at work at 9AM). I would try to push the bedtime back, and then go to bed closer to when the baby does. If you are staying up 2 or more hours past when you put your baby to bed, you may want to rethink your own bedtime. Or at least make yourself go to bed early 3 nights per week.

Have you tried the doctor's suggestion?????

Trust your doctor! At 6 months, I was feeding my little boy 1/2 a jar of veggies & rice cereal at dinner time & then nursing right before bed. He slept 8-10 hours a night. At 6 1/2 months her little body is hungry for more than just milk! She should be sleeping at least 8 hour stretches, if not more. Good luck!

You don't want to hear this but if you know her belly is full then you will have to let her cry. Don't just ignore her, have your husband go in and soothe her the best he can. He can rock her, pat her, sing to her, rub her legs, etc and then leave the room. She will cry and then 5 mins later he goes back in and soothes her again, then leaves and 7 mins later, then leaves, 9 mins later, etc We had to do this b/c it became a habit and I was exhausted too. It took three nights of her crying and my husband taking over and now, she sleeps GREAT! We lay her down, say goodnight, and she rolls over and goes to sleep. Fill her belly and maybe get up and feed her at midnight but not at 3am. You can do it, it will be worth it. You know she is fine, just stubborn and wants to nurse to soothe. Do it on a Thur or Fri night we you can let your husband sleep in and he can let you sleep in one day.

W.

I used to do the same thing when my daughter was that age. It got to the point where I was waking up every night. When she turned 7 months I stopped going in there and turned my monitor off. I just let her cry and now she sleeps through the night and I get at least 7 hrs of sleep a night. I know it sounds really mean to do that but i think that they are waking up with the fear of us not being there (separation anxiety). Your child is training you and it should be vise versa if you know what i mean. You really need your sleep especially since you are working full time. Eventually she will stop and when she does wake up she will end up crying her self to sleep.

At 6 1/2 months your baby should be eating plenty of cereal and babyfood. I would definitely feed her some cereal with some fruit or something mixed in shortly before bedtime. She might also be ready to learn to cry it out some. Every baby is different though so it is hard to know for sure what to do. I have 3 kids, ages 12, 7 an 2 1/2. The first one is always the hardest because you simply don't know what to do and not to do. By the 2nd one, you know they won't break or be scarred for life because of one thing or another.

I'd try feeding her a snack shortly before bed and then try to work on her with the self soothing stuff - that's always hard though. Good luck!

D.

Hello A.,

I am a mother of a four year old and 1 year old. My 1 year old went through the same thing. I started him baby food at 4 four months and gradually started him on soft solid foods. Mashed potatoes, green beans(lightly seasoned) and a few others. Before bed I gave him a full bottle. The crying slowed because he was full. Not every night but some nights. It was enough to notice a difference. The closer he got to one the longer he slept through the night. My doctor said he had a high metabolism and his body was absorbing all of his food. Fortunately, he starting sleeping through night around 9 to 10 months. Good luck I know it is tough. My husband expressed the same feelings. It will get better. I hope this helps.Try feeding her food at dinner and a full bottle at bed.

she might be teething, buy some of the teething tablets. give her 2 before her last feeding before bed. my son is 8 months & still wakes up at least once during the night. since i started giving him them he sleeps later before getting up. another thing worth trying is to push her bedtime back by about 15 minutes everynight & make sure her nap isn't too late in the day.