Sleeping Habits - Omaha,NE

Hi J.

I have a five year old and when she was about 3 she started doing some of the same things. So I would do it all for her before she would ask for it! I would say ok, you need a drink of water, and an extra hug, and a couple more kisses, etc. :) There were times that she couldn't think of anything else to ask for, that she just gave up and went to bed. Now she is in school and she can't get to bed soon enough! She is so tired that it's a struggle to keep her awake.
Just remember that sometimes it is ok to let them cry a bit.
Good Luck!
D.

Honestly, I think that you might need to be more firm about bed time. What kids know they can get away with, they will. You need to just read the story and tell her that its time for her to go to sleep and leave it at that. If she gets up than just keep sending her back to her bed. You will probably have to do this many times before it works on its own, but usually the only way is the hard way. Good luck, and if it makes you feel better I am a divorced mother of a 2 year old daughter, and a 9 year old son. My daughter thankfully goes to sleep as soon as she lays down. My son was the awnry one, but I stayed determined when he was young and it worked. Its tough when its all you, but stay firm, it will only benefit you in the long run.

I had the same problem with my daughter. I ended up buying her a special CD player. I let her pick it out on her own (it is a pink princess one) along with some kids CDs with songs she knew the words to. Now we start out our bed time routine with a book (that I read in her bed), and then turn on the music. She usually sings along to one or two and than passes out. On really hyper days, I make sure she takes a warm bath before this routine starts. As for the I'm hungry and thirsty games, my mom used to let us have milk and nothing else because the "milk would help fill us up until morning and keep us from being thirsty". After awhile it wasn't that exciting to just get milk, so we quit asking (and would eat earlier if we really were hungry).

The best way to get my 3.5 year old to sleep at night is to wear him out during the day. Keep her moving and when she is still, keep her mind moving with pre-school books and puzzles. On the days my son has pre-school, he goes to bed like two hours earlier. Hope this helps.

I have your problem also.. I work full time and by the time we get home she is so hyper and wants to play ,play, play. I dont have the energy. Sometimes she wont get to bed until 10:30-11:00. This is after me trying for more the 2 hours... I have recently enrolled her in swimming lessons 3 nights a week, she is tired from that and falling asleep much earlier so everyone in the household is happy... Good Luck

Hi J.,

I know that bedtime is tough. Something my husband and I do is this: definitely a bath before bed is good as it relaxes them and winds them down for bed. We spend some time with the kids...maybe ten or fifteen minutes after the bath reading to them, or just talking about the days activities. The boys are older now so we tend to talk about school, etc...but reading stories and cuddling with them when they are younger is a great thing. My husband and I have a routine of saying prayers together and then it's lights out and asleep within 10 minutes. That was the rule before I came into the picture, so I don't want to step on that...my husband used to lay with them when they were younger...to snuggle and they usually fell asleep rather quickly. I guess the kids used to get up and try to play due to their mom's loud tv or computer games...so he decided that if he laid in the room with them they would have nothing better to do but lay there and eventually fall asleep. Now that the boys are older, they have the routine down of falling asleep very fast...and sometimes go to bed on their own. Hope this helps, every family is different so one thing may work for you and one thing may not. Good luck!

Dear J. K.
I have a 22 moknth old daughter that hates going to bed at night no matter what. Last night I held off giving her a bath until about 10:00pm She took her bath , got dressed and crashed in the hallway with her blanket. I couldn't believe it. I had a son that would always go to sleep after a late bath. It might work for you.
A. W.

Hi J.,

My 3 1/2 year old daughter is "very" active and hard to get to sleep at night too. Does your daughter take a nap during the day? I've discovered that if my daughter doesn't nap during the day, the nights are much easier. The problem with this is she generally gets tired late in the afternoon and wants to sleep; this can't happen. Good Luck.

Wow, this was like reading a description of my own two kids who are 3 and 5! They do the exact same things and I am struggling with it as well---i'm sorry I don't have any advice for you because nothing has worked for us either! Let me know if something works for you! Good Luck!

Hi, J.. Bedtimes can be very tough.

I have a 2 yr old boy and we decided early on to be a co-sleeping family. It was so much easier while nursing and returning to work full-time. We educated ourselves on how to safely sleep with our baby and he is now starting to sleep in his own "big boy" bed. I know some parents find that letting their child cry and "learn" to put themselves to sleep is the best answer for them. I've decided to use a more interactive way to teach our son. I read to him every night (sometimes as many as 5-10 books) and then turn the lights off and lay with him while we sing "sleepytime" songs. He is almost always asleep within 10 minutes. I treasure that time with him - cuddling and snuggling - knowing he feels comfortable and secure. Most nights he's already yawning and winding down after the first book. I've found I can even get up and leave the room before he falls asleep. 15-30 minutes of quality time, cuddling and singing, fits into my schedule much better than 1-2 hours of head-butting. He does sleep better through the night now, in his own bed. When he is old enough and able, we will transition him to reading himself and singing his own sleepy-time songs. And, we will alter the routine as necessary to accomodate his comfort and security, while teaching him to put himself to sleep, not forcing him into crying fits and tantrums. Best laid plans, eh? We'll see when we get there!

Honestly, I think it's what works best for you and your family. I know it's probably different dealing with a 2 year old versus a 4 year old regarding bedtime routines. Maybe she wants to feel like she has some choice in the matter. Try making it into a fun, new "big girl" routine by telling her she's in charge to get to sleep tonight and let her pick out the books and the songs.

Hope a different view helps a little. I know being a single mommy - your time is very valuable. Good luck! Let us know what works for you - I'll be anxious to hear!

I TOTALLY hear ya!!! My son is 2 1/2 and he has been sleeping in our bed since birth! We tried EVERYTHING to get him in his crib...We even put his crib next to our bed, but he'd end up rolling over on to our bed! For the past yr we have been living with my mom so we only have one room that we share and we had a king size bed...Well last Spring when I started school I tried the whole "mommy time" thing with my son and he fought sleep SO bad...2-3 hrs like you said! Since I started this sem in August it got to be a fight every night!!! I got SO worried cause he was trying to fall asleep at daycare??? He would fall asleep fine for my mom, but with me I would even lay with him for and hour, then two hours and then three...Still no sleeping!

To make a long story short...LOL We jsut got him his own "big boy" bed...WOW!!! Can I just tell you...If I would have known it was this easy!!! My son now sleeps in his own bed and falls asleep within 10-15 min each night and will even take his naps better in his bed!!! I am assuming that your daughter does have her own bed??? If not...Try it out!!! One less stress on us it has been!!! =)

I hear what you are saying. My son use to stay up crying for hours or just playing in his bed. I've always played music for him but none of it really worked. Finally I put on a CD that I burned for my own use and I have never gotten it back. haha. I also started a bedtime routine. We pick up all his toys, then change his diaper, put on his cd. When I lay him in his bed he gets his monkey, his blanket to hold, his sippy cup, and his nuk until i can get him off of it. As I walk out the room I tell him "night night we'll play in the morning". I guess every little thing goes together. I find the only time he fights sleep is if the room is too cold because he is so use to the room being warm being we use to live in Louisiana.

HA HA My daughter was like that till she hit school... and then this year we got her into activities. My daughter is boarderline ADHD... She is a trip. What worked for me was to give her a bath using that johnson&Johnsons bed time bath stuff... and after the bath use the lotion. I gave her a back rub like every night... it calmed her down and made her relax. As they get older and get into more things it gets easier. I promise!

This is sooo wierd because I was having the same problem with my 3year old daughter... But I was also having a hard time to get her to sleep in her own bed as well... (I never got serious about her sleeping in her bed until I got pregnant again and figured that I cannot have 4 people in a twin size bed... ) So I have been using this "game" that she loves to "play", We do all the before bed stuff... bath, brush teeth, etc... sometimes stories but not always... then I lay her in bed and I say, Okay do you want to play a game??? She gets soooo excited now since weve been doing it for a while now, but I have her close her eyes and tell me what she sees... and when she tells me I ask questions, to keep her mind going and to keep her eyes closed... it usually only takes about 20minutes and then shes out like a light... but there are rules... I tell her that I will stay and play with her as long as she lays down and keeps her eyes closed at all times... If not, then I leave the room, turn light off and head to bed myself... she hates that... I would try it out if you want... It worked wonders for us and she loves it... sometimes before bedtime she will say I wanna play that game where I tell you what I see... so sometimes she is in bed early just so we can play longer... Good luck!

There is a great article about this in the October issue of Parenting magazine.

Don't feel like you are alone. I also have a four year old girls who does not want to sleep. I started to put her to bed hours before she needs too so that she will sleep.