Sleeping at Night - Saint Louis,MO

My fiancee's brother who lived with us had the terrible habit of putting our son to sleep while holding him which I didn't like because I had read in different magazines that you need to put your child in their crib and leave them there because if you continue to take them out. Then they don't understand how to soothe themselves when they wake up.

I have found the best book called Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. It's a wonderful book and has helped out with our little ones. I think you are doing awesome and my doctor said it is fine to sleep with baby. In this book it says that at four months you can start sleep training and teach them to sleep in their owns beds (if that's what you choose) and for longer periods of time.
My daughter was not a good sleeper until I got this book. She now is a great little sleeper and very rested child.

Good Luck!!!

Co-sleeping (family bed) is healthy and the kids turn out to be more secure emotionally and psychologically. Pediatricians/MD's cannot tell you what to do; they can only recommmend. You shouldn't be concerned about what other people say and/or think. Follow your gut instincts. If it feels right, then it is right for YOU.
10 weeks is pretty young, when she stirs at 3 or 4 am, she could be hungry. She may be going through a growth spurt and needs extra calories. Why did you stop breastfeeding? How long has it been? If it hasn't been too long you could build a supply and nurse her only at night. Everybody gets better sleep that way. They are only this young for such a short time, enjoy it...and the hell with what everybody else thinks.

D. B

I nursed both of my children, so when they would wake up at about 4 in the morning I would bring them to bed with me and nurse them so I could go back to sleep. I dont think it is a bad thing. The problem is when they are 4 or 5 and still wanting to sleep with you. It took a while to get them use to sleeping by themselves but they do it now. So it depends on how you would feel 3 years from now having you daughter wanting to sleep in your bed. I hope this helps.

J.

When my daughter was first born, she was a month early, and had issues with her breathing. She had sleep apnia. So, I used to sleep on the couch with her. She would lay curled up on my chest and we would both sleep. I really do miss those times. I think that the "cuddly" moments are worth holding onto, but, now that my daughter is 18 months...I cannot sleep if she is in the bed with me. She sleeps all night through, but she tosses and turns. Let me tell you, having a foot, head, fist, or even a butt in my throat or face....that is not too comfy. I suggest that you do get her on a schedual right now, but if it does not work right away do not worry. What I started doing was I would take naps with my daughter, instead of sleeping the night through with her. It has become our little schedual. We take a nap together, which satisfy's both of our need to be with each other, and then we sleep in our own beds at night. Maybe something like this would help you?

Wow 10 wks just seems awfully young to be moving her to her own room. The AAP says not to co-sleep but to keep them in your room in a bassinet until they are 6 months old in case they need something. They are still so little and fragile.
My boys both slept with us until they were around 6 months (the older until more like 8mnths). I know you aren't supposed to do it, but everyone slept so much better, espically when they are waking up in the night to eat. That's another question I had, she is sleeping all the way through w/o any snack or anything? Her being that young she still needs to eat every few hours.
I would say sleep with her now while she is still young enough that she won't start to depend on you. Enjoy it. Here in a few months she will be in her own room and you won't be able to sleep with her even if you wanted to b/c she will toss and turn all night because she is used to sleeping solo. I think co-sleeping when they are little is good for both of you. If it makes you happy it can't be that bad right?

I know exactly how you feel about having your baby close. My son wont even cuddle with me now so I rely on my friends baby's to smell that new baby smell. anyhoo I had my son in bed with me for about the first month because he just would not sleep in a bassinet and I didnt have room in my room for a crib (very small apt). Well one night I woke to see my son along my leg. Thank GOD I didnt smother him. You never know what you do in your sleep. When my son was about 3 or 4 mo he rolled right off the bed too.

H.,

HI!!!
I am a mom of 2 (3 year old and 3 month old). I've done the exact things you have (actually am doing right now). I just started my 3 month old in her own crib at night. It's been a week and she is doing great!
She went thru a few nights where she would stir and the only way to get her to sleep was to take her out of the bassinet and hold her close. putting her into her crib to take naps thru out the day (or in the morning- while you get ready for work) will help her adjust. i also have her in a pack in play on the main floor, where she takes lots of cat naps, so that she is well adjusted to sleeping in different places. babies routines are adjustable. you should do what feels right to you. you'll know from your babies cues what works and what doesn't. good luck!!
J.

My son is 18 months old. When I was pregnant with him all my friends said that it would be fine to keep him in bed with me while I am breastfeeding him. So I did and now I am done breastfeeding and he has a bed in his own room and most nights he is in bed with me still. He is more comfortable with me next to him. When I put him in his bed, at about 2 or 3 in the morning he screams for me. I come in and try to lay him back down. One night it took three hours until he finally got tired enough to not care anymore. My advice put her in her own bed now while she is young. I love cuddling with my baby but in the middle of the night with a 30 pound child sleeping sideways and kicking your stomach or back it doesn't feel like cuddling to me. :) You are not crazy for wanting to be next to her and be close to her. However, when she is older and still wants to be cuddled when you want some alone time that's when you'll want to put her in her own room. Better to start good habits now then have to break bad ones later.

I know alot of people will bring baby to bed with them... It scares me to death!!!! I would freek out if I turned over on baby and well... I just would not chance it. Thats me.... But LIke I said I know many who do infact they keep baby in bed with them till 2 years or longer!!!!

I am sure you do but I will ask.. Do you swaddle baby?? I know my son HATED having his hands not free!!! hehehe but He would wiggle and wiggle till his hands were free and well then the tight blankets were no long and he was up alll the time!!!!

I offen wondered if it was worth it to go buy the special blankets they had to swaddle...

Good luck.. and Happy Hugging!!

but Do what you feel is right.. You are the mommy!! You know best!!

Hugs!!!

T.

My angle is about 18 weeks old and she has been sleeping through the night in her own bed, in her own room (Knock on wood) since she was about 4 weeks old. Now I, myself am a 23 year old, new mom but what worked for me was getting her put on a schedule. For instance, since she came home from the hospital she eats and takes her naps through out the day but come about 8:30-9 at night we take our bath (to relax her), lotion up, get cuddley, read a book, eat her last bottle and then off to bed. Now at first I think I wasn't able to just put her down in her bed. I mean she had to be sleeping in my arms first. Now I put her in her crib and she goes right to sleep no matter if she is already sleeping or not, she'll put her self to sleep. But my biggest suggestion is "SCHEDULE" . . . . "ROUTINE" if you don't have one . . . . get one. Because then the baby gets in a routine, like bath time. Your little one will get use to knowing that after his/her bath it will be time to go in his/her room and go to bed and so on and so on. My sister has a 2 1/2 year old son whome actually slept with her in her bed for the first year or so of his life and to this day she is having a huge problem with him staying in his own bed at night and he's damn near 3. So you may want to try to nip this one in the butt! Again just a suggestion, I'm no expert just a lucky mom who's kid sleeps through the night!

My daughter is 9 weeks old and I'm dealing with similar issues. I think it's more for us than it is for our daughters. Think about it you slept with her cuddled up close to you for nine months, it can be hard to sleep without her. My daughter still sleeps next to my bed and for the last week since she's had a cold she's been sleeping with me. Now that she's feeling better and not sleeping with me as much I don't sleep as well and I miss her. I want to start letting her sleep in her crib in theory. But I don't think I'm ready to admit she's old enough to sleep in her crib. The best advice I can give you is do what's comfortable for you and her. Your pediatrican is not always right, I'm not saying their wrong, but you know yourself and your daughter. If she sleeps in her basinet from 10 to 4 then it sounds like your doing good. Maybe the time from 4 to 7 is your special time together. You should cherish those three hours because she won't be a baby forever. I have two older kids and I have to ask for a hug or a kiss from them, cuddle time with them only happens when their sick.

My first son is just over three months and this sounds a lot like our situation. I have read a ton on this with your same concerns and the key to an independent sleeper really seems to be your night routine and it sounds like he is going to sleep in his own bed at a reasonable time. I am not beating myself up over the hour or two in the early morning that he's in our bed. We go to bed separately, he falls asleep on his own and stays asleep, like yours, for a good six or seven hours. Ten weeks old is still really really little, sometimes I wonder if we don't all push this sleeping on their own issue too far - I think it sounds like you're doing great. And, it also sounds like you're happy and comfortable with how it's going - so good for you. Trust yourself and your baby, I'm beginning to wonder if that isn't the secret to parenting.

This sounds exactly like my son. He would sleep in his cradle in our bedroom and when he woke up in the middle of the night we would cuddle and sleep in more. I loved cuddling with him. He transitioned easily into his room and crib around 3 months but I would bring him into bed when he woke up. As much as I loved it, it did backfire on me and we ended up co-sleeping until he was 9 months because he learned that he could cry his way into the big bed earlier and earlier until he was no longer in the crib at all. I was losing a lot of sleep because I would wake up everytime he would move and he wanted to nurse on demand all night. We eventually used the "Feber Method" at 9 months to get him to sleep in his crib. It took three days and he has been sleeping all night in his crib ever since (He is now 12 and a half months old).
So you're not crazy, enjoy it! It not bad...we mothers are fully aware of our children at all times. Just kind in mind that it will be a habit that might take some work to break. And I still love to cuddle with my son during his afternoon naps every so often and so does he!

Sorry so long...hope this helps!

There is a book called baby wise and I found it to be very helpful.
I hope this helps.

It's not bad!! It's a wonderful thing! I loved, loved those cuddly moments with my baby girl(who will be a year old next month! hooray!). I say, treasure them!! I slept with my girl for the longest time and I nursed her, so her being little and in bed with me was very convient and we both slept longer and better(my hubby didn't like it so much, so when he worked nights she was in bed with me more; again, it was ME who craved it more!)...I think I had her in and out of bed with us until recently. It was only when she began to crawl and was able to flip over and try to climb over me that ended....she just had to be in her own bed for her safety! BUT,I would say get a routine going before bed time(yes, even at such a little age...) and I would be sure naps and ect are taken in her own bed and since she already starts out there it won't be a problem. And since she is only 10 weeks old!! Put her in bed with you and sleep all you want with her, that's my two cents. You will know when you and she have had enough and need your own space! And don't worry about what "everyone" else tells you......

H.:

First, congrats on the baby girl you adore. Second, I have to agree with the doc and say that it is not good for the baby to be in your bed at all. We were all first time moms at one time and you learn by trial and error. I think the baby will do fine in her own bed in her own room. Invest in monitors if you haven't already. You will miss her not being there right next to you but in the long run you will be glad you made the move from bassinet to crib. Good luck and cherish her for they grow up quickly.

S.

Hi I am a 25 year old new mom as well. I have a 4 month old son. I know what you are going through. I had the same battle. I work in Early Intervention and I would always tell my clients "do not put your child in bed with you". This is for a few different reasons: 1)SAFETY 2) It's hard to get them into their own bed. Then I became a mother. My son would not sleep in his bassinet next to me. The only way for him to sleep was in my bed. In some cultures (latino mostly) it is widely accepted. And, I must say, as long as you know you won't roll over on your child, this might be ok FOR NOW. Try putting your baby in the crib for a night. It is hard, but it wasn't as hard as I had thought. But remember, the longer you put it off, the harder it is. The thing that made me do it: I watched Supernanny and there was a mom with a 2 year old who still slept in mom's bed. The parents lost all their alone time and sleep due to this decision. So, I hope things work out with you and you're not crazy, just a loving mother. Good luck!