Since My Divorce, Other Divorced Women Are Asking Me to Pay Their Way

Updated on February 12, 2018
M.I. asks from Charleston, WV
9 answers

They have asked me to go to places and asked to join me at events I like on Facebook, including a Disney vacation rental that sleeps 16. Of course they think it is free. That is weird.

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

Featured Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.C.

answers from Anchorage on

Tell them either that they can not come, or that they are welcome but all their expenses will be on them, and just leave it at that.

More Answers

B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

Just say No and walk away.
They can argue with empty air all they want - you don't have to put up with that.
This doesn't sound like a healthy group of people to be hanging out with.
I'm not sure what a divorce care meeting is but I think you need to leave that group and meet other people.

Online groups are not a substitute for social interaction.
Maybe you could join a bowling league, take a cooking class - anything that interests you so you can meet people with similar interests.
Learn something you've always wanted to learn - and you'll make friends along the way.

6 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

B.A.

answers from Minneapolis on

Why are you worrying about what they think? Just say, sorry, this was for family only. Then go on with your life.

4 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.G.

answers from Portland on

Good advice below.

I've met the odd 'pushy' people - they kind of overstep boundaries and you just have to have boundaries. Say no, kindly but firmly. That's fine to do.

It doesn't matter what you did - if it was a mistake to have set your settings, or whatever. Regardless, you can say "Sorry, that was intended for my close friends only, my mistake. Sorry for the confusion" and move on. Everyone is entitled to make a mistake. If they are pissy to you for that - even after you've apologized (which by the way, you don't even have to do - but it's a good way to deal with it and move on) - then they are just difficult people and take that as a sign this is not a good group to be a part of.

As far as meeting people, I find that groups that add positive energy to your life are a great way to meet people. Exercise groups, etc. are a fun way to motivate you and meet people ho are also looking to make positive changes to their lifestyles. That kind of thing. Or if there's a hobby you have always wanted to pick up (photography, cooking, etc.) there are usually local classes.

Online groups are just that - nice for support and fun over coffee (I love this one) but if you want personal interaction and ways to meet actual people to hang out with one on one, reach out :) Usually once you make one bud, that paves the way to at least meeting more. Best to you :)

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D..

answers from Miami on

I would have told them that you are sorry that the post showed to friends of friends, that you didn't mean to give the impression that it was for non-family members. And then ignore the rest. Keep going to the meetings. They'll forget about it.

At some point if you think these women will "redeem themselves" in your eyes, then you can click on facebook to ask them to be facebook friends. But until then, change your privacy settings so that they don't see your posts.

2 moms found this helpful

T.F.

answers from Dallas on

What is your question?

You owe no explanation of your plans to anyone.

Learn to say "NO". If you don't, then you are allowing others to take advantage of you.

Change your FB settings so strangers can't see your personal info.

If you are lonely, get out and meet people. Go to a restaurant at the bar area, church, neighbors, exercise, etc.

Don't let anyone make you feel inferior or like you owe them anything. I'd leave a group if they were that way and seek one one one therapy.

Best wishes.

2 moms found this helpful

S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

this is a very vague and odd post, but the gist that i'm getting is that people you don't know want you to pay for a vacation home that they will share with you. you belong to an online group and some of its members are presuming beyond the normal limits of an online group?

i mean, how hard is it to say 'that's not going to happen' in a firm way, and find a different group if your online non-friends continue to pester you?
khairete
S.

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

N.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

The rental place reviews are public because they want to bring in more business. Your FB account should be however you want it to be.

Please double check your settings for friends of friends and such. Sometimes things will escape through that setting.

If you are not personal friends with these people tell them no, and be done with it.

I imagine they're just as lonely as you are and are grasping at making a closer connection to others going through the same thing.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I'm sorry, I'm not understanding this post.

These are your FRIENDS telling you they want to join on a vacation and specifically state "you will pay for this"??

Have you asked them to join you in the past? Did you get a huge settlement in your divorce and people think you're now "rich"?

Please expand on your post.

If you're on facebook and state you are going to an event, and then they say "hey I wanna come too!" please. explain. This doesn't make sense.

1 mom found this helpful
For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions