Should I Tell About Our ASD Dx?

Your post is a bit confusing to me. You state that your son receives services through school and outside of school and has an IEP. He is obviously receiving services for something that is worthy of those services and having an IEP so technically he's already labeled. Not that that matters or should matter. Why consume yourself with a label placed on your child? I'm an extremely proud parent to an autistic son. Autism is a part of him, it will never go away however he may learn how to disguise or overcome certain behaviors. There is no cure for autism. Having this label as you put will only do great things for him in school. I cannot imagine why you would even think of forcing your child to solely remain in the typical classroom environment where his needs are not being fully met. As to what you do with your insurance that is up to you but I would hope that no matter what you do you do what is best for your child and not your hang-ups on labels.

I think you being scared, would be more negetive. Like, it's something so bad and negetive, it has to be a secret. That's called shame. Whether you feel ashamed or not, the perception is just as bad. Saying he has ASD is not a label in a negetive way, unless you make it that way. Your fear is doing just that. A diagnosis is a tool, not a scarlett letter. You are the only one treating it that way.

Your son will never get the proper help, guidance, and education. They do need to know, in my opinion. To give your son the very best, they need to know.

I think you're nuts to keep this to yourself. You are denying your child the opportunity to receive the best education and treatments available to him by keeping those who spend the most time with him in the dark.

I doubt that your insurance fears are 100% true. The mental health parity act and affordable care act have provisions for the equality of treatment for mental health issues (not that ASD is a mental health issue per se but some treatments fall under the mental health umbrella while others are categorized as physical health issues) and for pre-existing conditions. The pre-existing condition clause goes into effect in 2014 so I suppose if it's repealed that could be at risk but Romney as pledged to keep that part of the ACA intact if he does win. I know that small, self-insured plans are often exempt from some of the provisions that larger plans are subject to but if I were you, I would absolutely do my homework before making a decision based on what may be outdated or incorrect information.

Additionally, once school knows about the dx then they can include speech and OT in his IEP and you won't pay for them out of pocket.

To me is seems as if you're making decisions based on hang ups and fears instead of seeing what's in front of you and dealing with it the best way you can. Don't worry about the label - his brain works differently, now and forever. It's real, it's not going away. Validate his differences instead of hiding them. I think that in the long run, he will benefit far more from having parents who are vocal advocates for him than from keeping things quiet.

Your son isn't getting the care he needs because you are not disclosing the diagnosis. If you allow the teachers , the school, the staff to help you, your son will benefit greatly. I understand your reasons in regards to being labeled and the insurance, but you have to weigh the pros/cons. Your son could get services that would help him if you allow this information to be shared. I think it is worth it. You will always wonder what if? If you don't. Good luck.

I think you are a fool if you don't tell the school. First because you are passing on programs the school has and two because they do not report to the insurance companies.

Just an FYI, thanks to EPIC your insurance company probably already knows about the diagnosis.

If a child had diabetes, would you consider that a "label"? Or leukemia? Or asthma? Why should autism be any different? Why not just let them know and then be more ensured that he gets the help he needs? Autism doesn't just "go away" and kids don't "outgrow it" but they can learn to overcome it, just like dyslexia and anything else. If it is not addressed now, he may end up just falling further and further behind until it becomes obvious that something isn't right. Personally, knowing that a "quirky" kid is the way they are because of ASD would make me feel more understanding of the situation, not less.

You make a lot of excellent points. However, I think you're too concerned with what people will think of your son--and maybe how they will judge you as a parent. I would suggest getting him the help he needs.

What is he on an IEP for if the school doesn't know about his dx?

Why do you think that your insurance will raise your rates? My grandson is diagnosed with ADHD and being somewhere on the ASD. His insurance has not gone up. Some of his treatment is paid for by his insurance.

I had cancer and my insurance rate did not go up. I changed carriers without any difficulty and was not charged a higher rate. I wasn't even asked about past diagnosis.

Does your contract with the insurance company state that they will raise your rates with certain diagnosis? Find out if what you believe is true.

I urge you to be more open about his diagnosis. The school definitely needs to know so that they can provide for his needs. I am confused about how he has an IEP if they don't know.

No one grows out of ASD. The condition causes the person to think and act differently. Their brain doesn't change over time. They can learn how to be in this world but they will always be different. It's important to get all of the services available while he is young so that they do learn how to live in this world.

It does sound like you fear what other people will think and that perhaps you're ashamed of the diagnosis. You cannot keep hiding from it. Your son will have more difficulty as he gets older. It's important to acknowledge his condition now so that he does get the help that he needs. And so people will understand his behavior and accept him as he is.

First of an ASD dx he will not outgrow, Autism doesn't go away. As far as telling the school YES you should because as he ages things may get harder and having an IEP will help. I have a son on the spectrum and would have never gotten anywhere in school without his IEP. He is now 20 and no not able to live full time on his own. And by not telling people about the DX if he is having a bad day and having meltdowns they will become less tolerant of him.
Understandably about insurance but if they won't insure him he will be able to get state insurance that will also help with a lot more services for him.And having him mainstreamed may be "hurting" him more than helping him.
Hope this helps

I understand not wanting a label, but if your child is having any difficulties at school, I highly recommend sharing. For one thing, he is much more likely to get services needed. For another, it helps as a teacher to know what he/she is dealing with with each child. I am a teacher and I spend so much time trying to figure out how to best help my students, what might be the issues, what I can do to help. I would be pretty upset if I found out a parent hadn't told me what a diagnosis was...we need that information to meet each child where he/she is. Plus, I would rather have the real label out there than have an unofficial label given by others ("difficult", "slow", etc...) without full knowledge of the real issues at hand. I have had ASD kids. It didn't change at all how I felt about them, but it sure helped me to know how to help them cope and adapt in our classroom. Good luck! This parenting thing is hard...

My feeling with my daughter was "call her what you want" as long as she gets the services needed. Today she is a surgical tec in OR, and EMT and volunteer firefighhter. You are doing your child a big disservice by not telling school. I would want him to have all services he is entitled to.