Sentimental Value on Material Things

I am sorry, but you just do not "get rid" of things that have been in the family like that. I am a "non clutter" person, I am also big on purging from my home, however there are some things you just DON'T touch and those Ice Cream bowls are one of those things. Is there no one else in your family that would possibly want them, if not then you are to keep them until the day you pass.

you may be in a declutter phase now.....but you will live to regret eliminating family heirlooms. Stick them in the back of a cabinet & rejoice 20 years from now..... Your husband & his family deserves this modicum of respect.

In this world of pitch the old/used, we are negating the power of family history.....& becoming a world of disposables. My family prides itself on embracing our heritage & family history.....it is what makes us individuals & not homes built by IKEA & WalMart. Peace......

thats so sad. they meant enough to granmother, mother, and granddaughter to keep them and pass them down to you. 3 generations and you're the 4th. That's phenominal. Extremely cool. Grandmother may have brought them over from the old country and now the family heritage ends in a yard sale? This was probably your mils way of welcoming you into the family. Of course you've hurt her feelings. In our modern times, we have all given up our heritage and birth right when it comes to our ancestral traditions, languages, food. If these women weren't able to pass anything else down, they passed down these silly ice cream cups. Your children have a right to them. They arn't even yours to make these sad decisions with! They were entrusted to you. They belong to the family to get passed down. So, you don't want them and they end up in a yard sale? Come on! Have a sense of tradition and legacy. What do you want to leave to your great grandkids? What if they sell your wedding set in a pawn shop? If they are that repellant to you, give them to another member of the family. Or box them up and put them inthe attic with a little note describing who they were from and how they came to you. Maybe the next generation will find it cool to have a peace of thier heritage.

you should box them up and keep them at least until your MIL is no longer around. She gave them to you because they were family you shouldnt just toss that out.

I'm totally with you. My mother has a house full of old family things that she wants to pass to me. I'm okay with having a few items, but when you have too many you can't even remember where it came from or what significance it's supposed to have.

The way I see it - I do not value these things, but there are so many people out there that do. I would suggest keeping a couple items from MIL and a couple items from mom, and taking the rest to an antique shop where they will be valued. You'll humor your relative's sentimentality, but still not have a house full of stuff you don't want. Frankly, I think when people give these kinds of heirlooms and expect you to cherish them as much as they did, that's selfish and they're putting conditions on their gifts.

I would keep them for my children. Declutter the other stuff in your house. There's honestly not a lot of "stuff" in my home, I'm not one who kept every yearbook and souvenier of my life. But there are some things that should be passed down. I keep my mil's trifle bowls in a place of honor in my china cabinet, right up front with my OWN china (though they aren't the same pattern) out of respect for my mil and for my husband's family history. Pass them on when one of your children gets married. It doesn't have to be the only wedding gift, but you can pass it on as a memory. I don't see the problem with a set of glass cups. I'm sure it's not going to ruin the cleanliness of your home, and I doubt it's the only thing that could be thrown out in your home. Why hurt her feelings, possibly your husband's, or throw out something that has been handed down a several generations? In the meantime, USE them! I use my china for holiday meals, anniversaries, Valentine's day, and any other time that an "adult meal" can be served. They can mean more to you if you just have an ice cream party....or a family tree party where you eat ice cream or trifle in them, have some special drink from another side of your family, or special recipe(s), and look at pictures and talk about people, tell a little history and some stories about who people are. That way it'll mean something to you because you've got some context on who gave them, but also they can mean something to your kids too, because you've built a memory. If it were MY mil, I'd even serve it to the family while she's there and ask her to talk about the grandma she got them from. No, technically value isn't in "things" so much, but you can be gracious and make some attempt.

I think that is sad. She gave them to you for a reason. She thought you would appreciate the fact that they belonged to your husband's grandmother and you want to just throw them out with the trash. Would you feel the same way if they were from your side of the family? I was very close to my grandmother and when she died I got a wooden rolling pin, her biscuit cutter made from an old can, and some cheap correlle dishes. I use all of them and every time I do, I think of my grandma and the fond memories of summers at her house. I can't imagine how I would feel if I handed those down to my son, esp. the antique rolling pin, only to have his wife call me one day when she is decluttering and ask if she can pitch it. You should box them up, put them in the attic with a note about their history, and then go call your MIL and let her know you won't be throwing them away. JMHO

My mom collects things... lots of things.... I politely asked her one day if it was ok if I kept my favorite of her things and got rid of the rest (at that time) and she said "Yes, just because I like my things doesn't mean that I think everyone should like my things". Seems like a weird conversation when I typed that up, but it fit at the time. As for your ice cream cups and your emotional MIL I would wait since it seemed to bother her. Put them somewhere out of the way and when she is over drag them out and use them so she knows you kept them for her. Then when the time is right give them away.

Oh this is so hard. It seems almost unfair that we become responsible for so many things. We can't keep everything passed down, it just isn't realistic. If you're absolutely certain that you don't want them or want them for the future, I would have an ice cream party and use them, and take lovely pictures with them in use. I think it's much better to have a memory with people who are using them, then to just 'know' that they are sitting around collecting dust. Once you've done that, and you've offered them back to whomever, I would say you are in the clear to get rid of them. Maybe finding a nice place to donate them would ease the blow- a church or something?

We are going through this with my husband grandmother (well sort of) she knows that the time is comming and has been shifting things off to family. She gave me some things that I was like Umm. See she says to me that she cannot fathom the idea of getting ride of them to someone I don't know so I give them to you...Now what you do with them is your business but please leave me out of it. Basically I will keep till she passes away and then do as I wish. O as my hubby wishes.

Only you can answer that. What is important to one person may not be important to another.

I am the only daughter and one of two granddaughters in my family. I have been bombarded with generations of china and "junk" because they have been in the family for so long. Before my mother died, she told me not to hold onto anything I didn't want or need out of guilt. It's just stuff...and stuff that is given as a gift. Gifts should come with no strings attached. I held onto a lot of things for many years and then just decided that someone else may enjoy them...one man's trash is another man's treasure. Any way, I checked with everyone in my extended family before giving things away. I have only held onto the things that were special to me or my now ex.

As long as your husband is ok with your getting rid of his family "heirlooms" and his mother doesn't want them back, then you should be free to do with them as you please.

Keep it for your kids?

I am so with you..."Things" should not hold our memories. Just think of it this way, would the people we loved and that loved us back want us saddled with things that make us unhappy? Find someone who will appreciate them, one suggestion? Have a night where you use them and take pictures! Then you will have the pictures and a happy memory. But don't feel like they have to clutter up a cabinet or closet! I have been de-cluttering for a while now...it makes me so much happier. Good luck...let go of them, and don't feel guilty. By offering them to your MIL you did all you can do.

Either give them back or store them for one of your kids. I have a lace tablecloth that belonged to my husbands grandmother-I absolutely hate it and will never ever use it, just haven't had the guts to ask my husband if we can get rid of it yet! Although if i did he would probably never notice!

My mom places HUGE sentimental value on so so so many things. She has a bunch of things she wants to pass down to me that were hers, my grandmothers, my great grandmothers etc. I am the type of person who does not like clutter and would normally pick one thing from one person and keep that to remember them. My mom keeps everything. She collects stuff. But my mom acts incredibly hurt and sad if I even mention anything about not wanting a bunch of old stuff. She is expecting my brother and I to cherish all this stuff just like she does. I have learned to just accept a thing when she gives it to me and to gush over how wonderful it is to have this family keepsake. I now tell her that great grandma's china bowls or bell collection or whatever will be welcomed and cherished. I figure when my mom passes away my brother and I can then do whatever we want with all this stuff. Some we will keep but my mom would be shocked at how much we will not keep. I know some things my kids may like and some things my brother's kids may like...but honestly, it's just too much. No one wants THAT many family keepsakes. She will never know. This way she is happy. If I were you I would make my MIL happy and just tell her you changed your mind bc one day you would like to pass on those ice cream cups to one of your kids. That family is important. Then box them up and stick them in your attic with a note to discard one day or better yet, pass on to your kids. Just be thankful she is not like my mother with about a gazillion things she wants to pass on to you!

Really? Small ice cream cups? They can't be taking up that much space. Save them for your children.

I would take them to her packed nicely in a good strong box. If she chooses to get rid of them then she has that choice. I think I would keep them and find a way of using them whether I out pudding with whipped cream on top or actually use them for ice cream sundaes. The only thing I wanted from my moms was the piano. My sister wanted several sets of dishes and pieces of furniture and didn't get anything because my brother was mad at her. I felt really bad for her, she had looked forward to having those things her whole life and my brother got rid of them.