I am new to this site and very thankful my sister in law introduced it to me. It has been very helpful to me. I do go on a website for young widows and there is a part for parents but its for men as well as women. This here is for just mothers. And as we all know men just sometimes don't understand.
Anyway I met my husband when I was only 16. I got prego with our daughter at age 18. We were married in 2002 and had our son in 2005. He passed away on December 8, 2006. He was an avid outdoorsman. He fished all year round. Went deer hunting in the fall and winter, then would small game hunt in the spring. He went hunting that day with his muzzleloader. It was soooo cold that day. What the police think happened was he dropped his gun from his treestand, which was bout 20 feet up. When the butt of the gun hit the ground, it went off and shot him in his groin and cut his femoral artery in half and the bullet lodged in his spine. There was another hunter in the woods who heard him scream for help. Just 3 times. It was almost dark so he couldn't find him. The police found him around 9:30. I wasn't notified til 11:30. It was the worst day of my life. Things have been better. My kids are adjusting and I'm starting to move on.
If there are any widowed mothers that need some to talk to, I am looking as well.
L.
First, I'm very sorry for your loss. While I can in no way understand what you're going through, I wanted to see if you were on Cafemom.com. This is an online community for moms only, and there are several different groups you can join specifically for widowed mothers. These ladies might not be in the area, but they will be somebody to talk to that understands. Hope this helps!!
I am a single mom of two little girls (ages 2 and 7) and although I did not lose my husband to a tragic death, I went through a very difficult divorce and sometimes it feels like someone died. I am so sorry you lost your husband, and sorry it was so sudden like that, I am sure you can't believe that it's been almost two years. It probably seems like forever, but then seems like it was just yesterday. My heart goes out to you, having your whole world changed. Please let me know if you need anything, I live right here in Fenton and am part of a mom's playgroup that I know would love to have you join. Great girls, all in this area, please let me know!
-L. D.
Gosh L.! I am so sorry to hear about your experience, and can feel your loss. I think that's something that happens, once you've experienced widowhood. I am 52 now. (Wow, that sounds old, but I certainly don't feel a day over 30!). I have six children. My youngest was 1 1/2 when Mike died. Seth now is 11. I married Mike right out of high school. We attended the same school. We were married 25 years, had built our home in a new area - and, just before it was finished and ready to move into - he was diagnosed with cancer. He was a strappin' healthy man. We'd had no forewarning before he began to struggle with something. Went in for a scope - and, bam! Our world changed immediately. From the time of diagnosis to death - we had 7 months. Seven months to say good-bye. It was horrible. The hospital became our "home away from home". He did die at home, which I am grateful for. There aren't adequate words to describe "becoming a widow". It becomes a lifestyle you did not choose. We were supposed to grow old together - enjoy our new home - watch our children grow up - and, enjoy our grandchildren together. Now, I enjoy our two grandsons - by myself. Leaves me always with a sting when I see our children accomplish great goals, and hear my grandson's first words. It's a "companion" that will always be with me. It does build great strength, though, when you face it and move on through life. I'm glad to have met you here, L.. Thank you for being courageous enough to share your story.
C.
I AM SO SORRY, I'M NOT A NEW WIDOW BECAUSE I LOST MY HUSBAND 27 YEARS AGO ON OUR DAUGHTER'S SECOND B-DAY. HE COMMITTED SUICIDE WHEN HE WAS 21. I WAS DEVASTED, BEING A YOUNG WIDOW, SINGLE PARENT, A LIFE I WASN'T QUITE READY FOR. IT GETS EASIER BECAUSE YOU'RE KIDS ARE WHAT'S GONNA KEEP YOU STRONG. IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO TALK MORE YOU CAN EMAIL ME AT:
____@____.com. I'LL BE HAPPY TO SHARE WITH YOU THE THUNGS THAT HELPED ME THROUGH SUCH A DIFFICULT TIME.
I just wanted to say that I am so sorry for your loss. I'm sure that it has been quite rough for you. I'm also not a widow, however, I did lose my father when I was in high school. I just want to say, from a child with a deceased parent, try to talk about him to your children as much as you can--it doesn't need to be all of the time. My mother was in shock for so long and I didn't feel comfortable talking about him because she never talked about him or what happened (cancer). I would talk to one of my sisters and 2 of my very close friends. She talks about him more now and I hear new stories about him now too and I really appreciate it. It truly makes me happy to hear them and not sad. I know you've heard that one of the best things you can do is talk about him and about your feelings towards what happened. Just remember to let your children know that too, especially your young son. I hope this helps from the children's aspect.
God bless!
I'm not a widowed mother but wanted to give my condolences. My uncle died 4 years ago in a hunting accident.. the theory is he was trying to remove his harness to climb down (deer hunting in a tree blind) and lost his balance and fell. I know it was tragic for my aunt and cousins.
Dear L.,
I'm very sorry for your loss. It sounds like you are being as strong as possible in this situation. I hope you've been able to contact some other young widowed mothers through Mamasource.
Since you are looking for support, I want you to know about a Mom's group which meets at the Oak Arbor Church in Rochester. Our goal is to support each other as we parent our children. It's a great way to meet other moms, and also to get out and be social once a week. You can find out more on our webpage: www.oakarbor.org/community/momstots.html.
Do you have a church community to support you in your time of grief? The church I attend (which is also the Oak Arbor Church) has wonderful teachings about life after death. You can read more on the same website as above, under the "worship" section. You don't have to attend church to attend the Moms & Tots program, but you are warmly welcome to attend both!
All my best to you and your family during this difficult time,
L.
