Seeking Advice on Bossy 4 Yr Old

I have two boys, 9 and 3. When they started going to an extreme with any emotional characteristic we would read and reread the Dinofours books. I'm the Boss! deals with Tara controlling her friends during outdoor play. We then could talk about feelings afterwards, the others' reactions and how it was similar to what they were doing. After a week of a book every day, sometimes a few times a day, things calmed down.
I hope it helps. There are other good character books out there if your daughter isn't up for dinosaurs. :]

Hi J.,
Welcome to 4 year olds!! Oh do I know what you are going through. We also have a 4 year old little girl who test the limits DAILY. Its a real challenge. She has an older brother and a younger sister and you would think that she gave birth to both of them with how she demands them around and makes rules she expects them to follow. She also has the power to whine and cry and plead for hours to try and get what she wants. It causes for daily time outs, melt downs, temper tantrums and so on. My personal opinion... with us... is that she was our first daughter and we were so overjoyed to have a little princess that we gave her any and everything she had ever wanted and fussed over her so much that she now truly believes that she is a PRINCESS and we are her subjects. Boy are we paying the price now. Trust me... we learned our lesson with our second daughter! And... with baby number 4 coming we are trying very hard to get this under control so that we dont have mass chaos in the house. The best thing that has worked for us is consistancy. When I tell her NO, I stick with it and I mean it. No amount of yelling crying screaming or back talk is going to change my mind. If she can not get herself under control, I put her in time out until she can calm down. When I ask her to do something, I expect it to be done when I ask her without the trantrums. I make it very very clear to her what the rules are and before we go into a store I tell her how I expect her to behave and I tell her right then what her consequenses will be if she can not behave the way I ask... then I stick with it if that doesnt happen. Its challenging... I am right where you are. And... I know that we are partly to blame for these learned behaviors of hers, however... that doesnt mean we dont have the right to correct the wrongs and get her on the right path now, while she is young! What is worst then a sassy 4 year old???? A sassy teenager! So stick with it!! Thats what we're trying to do! Good LucK!

Hi J., I feel you! My 3yr old will be 4 on friday and I have been going thru the same thing to some extent(I have been fortunate enough that she doesnt throw public tantrums). I will definitely be following up on your responses because I am about to pull my hair out :)

I understand where you are coming from. I have a 4 year old boy who is fits what you are describing. I am chalking it up to being 4.