Santa Claus Regarding 13 Yr Old

I'm sorry, but I don't buy it. 13 and still believes?? Most kids won't admit to knowing the truth b/c they don't want the gift-flow to stop, but he's old enough to know the real story. Sorry to break it to you, but he knows. If he's 13 and still believes in magical doors then he's the only middle school student I have ever known who does!

By "real story", I mean tell him "who" St. Nicholas really was. It's a beautiful story that can be easily followed-up with a conversation about the power of giving and gratitude. St. Nick represents generosity and love and his spirit of giving has lived on long after his death which is why we celebrate his "feast day" by giving gifts and keeping alive the mystery & magic of giving!

At 13 you need to explain to her Santa is symbolic and not an actual person. Santa symbolizes kindness generosity etc. People don't lie about Santa . Most children are too young to understand what he symbolizes so we use a symbol to help kids understand. In my opinion you should talk to her and tell her the truth.

She might already have her own ideas and just be seeing if you are still playing along...or maybe she still thinks that YOU want her to believe Santa is real (same goes for the 10 year old) and she is going along with it to make YOU happy. But most kids figure it out for themselves by now - I did at 7. On the other hand, I had a cousin who was still professing a belief in Santa at 12. His parents had divorced when he was young and I think it messed with his head a little and caused him to hold onto things way longer than was typical.

Anytime she asks anything, I would just turn it around back on her and ask, "Well, what do YOU think?" And that way you are not misleading her in any way with explanations of how Santa gets into the house, etc.

I like some of the other suggestions on here, about explaining the story of St. Nicholas behind the Santa Claus story. Also, do you think there is any cause for concern if she really still does believe in Santa at this age? That she is gullible and naive and will believe just about anything that others tell her?

I would tell the 13 year old this year and enlist her help as "Santa's Helper" for her sister. After Christmas tell your 10 year old.

I would tell them that "Santa" is in the spirit of St. Nicholas who helped children a long time ago. Parents now continue his giving spirit at Christmas. Stress that they can not share this secret with other children because they still believe in the magic of Christmas.

I am sorry, but at 13, she needs to be told the truth.. I really cannot believe she really still believes in Santa.. At 8 many kids begin to figure it out on there own,..

I actually would be concerned if my child still truly believed at 13. It sends me the sign that this person could be gullible, not have a full survival instinct or be extremely naive. I would work on this. with her.. She could get pulled int o all sorts of situations with that much trust.

You could ask her what she thinks, then tell her that Santa is real to those that believe, but he represents the Spirit of giving for Christmas.. That is what we did with our daughter. She loved being "in the know".. She would then do her own version of Santa for us too..

13?! Wow!!! I was more like 8 when I found out. My kids were even younger than that when the kids started talking about Santa not being real... That seems a far bit too old... even 10... to be pretending about Santa. Tell them or they will for sure get teased.

I still think Santa is real and I'm 53 ;)
My gut tells me that your kids really do know that he isnt actually real, but he is real in their mind and that is what believing in Santa is really all about.

I think that you can explain that the magic of Santa is real, but the actual guy in the big red suit isn't. You can tell them that you have to explain things differently to little kids, because they just don't get the magic of just believing.

For example, I was explaining to my 5 year old that it's nice to give presents to kids whose moms and dads can afford presents, because that's like "helping Santa" do his job. I think that you can explain Santa as the embodiment of giving and caring, and she's old enough to get that now.

But yes, I would clue in your 13 year old especially if she really doesn't know, because kids will make fun of her.

Mine are 13 and 9 and I have told them that as long as they believe....Santa will come.

This is what I will tell my kids - Of course there is a Santa or that there was one. B/c Santa couldn't live forever and he wished he could continue to bring gifts on Christmas morning, he passed the tradition on to the parents, for us to be Santa in his absence. I will add, what a true gift it was and an honor to carry on the tradition.

Very tough one. I have a niece 11 years old who says she still believes, but last year in school one of her friends told her he wasn't. Share with your daughter that at one point, there really was a man who would give out gifts to children, but, the spirit of Christmas has carried on and that is why parents and relatives, continue on with this tradition.

I have a book called "The Flight of the Reindeer". It proves that Santa is real. (You can get it in your local library in the Non Fiction section.)
Santa comes to all those who truly believe.
Get the book.
Leave it under the tree at Christmas.
Let them read and decide.
LBC

I think it's time to clue in your 13 year old. 10 is still young enough to believe.
I would ask her what she thinks. Majic is not real. its tricks. We play fun tricks. Walls dont really dissappear we know that, but presents do appear on Christmas morning! Thats the fun part! Wondering how they get there and making up stories about it is lots of fun too. Let her make up her story.If she likes to draw, have her illustrate it too. What a great gift this would be to copy for grandparents, etc, Make sure you save a copy for her when shes older and has her own kids.

My 9 year old knows there is no Santa, she went shopping with me last year and figured it out. Your 13 year old should know by now that he isn't real. I wouldn't continue with the Santa thing, I love Santa but I wouldn't led an older kid on like that.

EDIT I agree with the poster who said tell your kids about St. Nicholas.

You can tell your daughters about the real St. Nicholas of long ago, a Christian who had such a heart for the people around him that, among other things, he gave them much-needed gifts without revealing his identity and without expecting anything in return.

Then you can explain that, remembering the saint, people play Santa Claus today to give surprises to the people they love. Your girls are now old enough to help to be Santa Claus themselves and give surprise gifts to their family and friends, especially those who are younger. But... they must keep it a complete secret! It's a great game to play and it can be played forever.

Your daughters sound adorable. I have been called an ogre for doing this, but my son asked me directly how Santa got around the world one night when he was five and I told him the truth about Santa. I just didn't want to lie to him at all...not that anyone else should have done what I did. That was just how I handled it. But, this is what I told him that made him still enjoy the tradition of Santa Claus even though he knows Santa is not real. I told him the real story of Saint Nicholas and how he made toys and gave them to poor children in stockings or shoes and how the Santa Claus tradition honors that kind man who lived centuries ago. That way the fantasy was replaced with a true story that was lovely and valuable. Your daughters are old enough to appreciate the story even more than my son. Perhaps you can help them to find a way to also honor the tradition of Santa Claus by buying gifts for needy children during the Christmas season -- you could do it now for a local gift drive (Toys for Tots?) and then tie that act into your explanation after Christmas (see, you were Santa Claus too!). That first Christmas, my son wanted to help me with the Santa Claus tradition by getting something for my daughter's stocking. So, kids, when they appreciate the story, love being on both sides of it.

my sister told me that she had suspicians for years and it gave her anxiety because she would think what if she is wrong and he is real? will he stop coming? eventually my parents just told her and i think she was a little relieved. if i was you i'd only tell the older one and stress that it was for the younger one to come to that herself. but then i making that reccommendation based on a paragraph about your family. good luck and happy holidays!

when my older son was about 12 we were in the kitchen having dinner. the next younger son who was 10 and half at the time said something about mom and dad putting "x" in the stocking the older son was shocked. thought santa was real. he was appalled. younger son was horrified that he ruined Christmas and both of them were worried that that meant no more presents. Our conversation after that was about how "Santa" was all about love. if you believe in love then Santa is real. if you don't then he isn't. believe me my kids all believe in love lol.

Dude, I still KNOW he is real ... You keep him alive for your kids in YOU and YOUR actions.

Martha P has it right in my opinion. My husband has always been a pusher of Santa and growing up it was the opposite for me. I knew early on (at 4) the "truth" but the Saint Nicholas story was told to me.

It was so bad that (at almost 4) someone asked me what Santa brought for me and I told them nothing. (They didn't ask the right question.LOL) Had they asked what I had gotten for Christmas, they would have gotten the answers they were expecting, but as my parents didn't push Santa it never occurred to me.

My parents always left the presents that would have normally been from Santa without a From and it was up to us to assume. When asked who they were from, my parents would ask "Who do you think?"

Hope I helped

I won't tell you whether or not to tell your daughter. However, last spring, my 11 year old told me he didn't believe in the leprechauns that come to our house every St Patty's Day. I didn't reaffirm his suspicions right away, during the conversation, but then told him that, yes, I was the leprechauns. I ended up bawling all night long!! I knew that meant no more Easter Bunny, Santa, etc. I couldn't believe I just burst the bubble!! My heart broke. I asked him the next morning if he was sad,now that he knew. He said.."Not really". But, I know a part of him was. Anyway, the reason I DID tell him, was because I was the oldest of 4 (just like him) and I remember when my Mom let me help her with the Santa gifts on Christmas Eve. It's a memory I will cherish forever. My sibs were younger (4- 12 years difference from me), but I thought being able to share that with my oldest would be fun. He has already helped me with some shopping, and it's going well. We'll see about Christmas Eve.....
My 10 year old still believes and doesn't show any signs, at all, that he is starting to doubt. For him, I will wait until he is really questioning it all, before I tell him. If he gets teased by friends, that may speed up the process, but I won't just come out and take away the magic. I have heard that some kids get mad after they learn the truth, but you know your daughter and whether or not that's the case. I eventually learned the truth, and don't remember it being traumatic or getting teased. It's your call - but once you put it out there, you can't take it back.
Good luck!