Race to Nowhere

Ii haven't seen it but would like to. I have long been concerned about over-scheduled kids who cannot do anything independently because they were never allowed any downtime to just be a kid, be creative, etc. Our child was allowed one activity in addition to religious school one day a week, and otherwise he played with friends or engaged in some project of his choosing. He was very interested in building & construction, for example, so he had elaborate Lego, K'Nex and Brio displays. We did a lot of nature hikes and exploring, and he did a lot of bike-riding and roller-blading. We also played board games a lot - lots of interaction and strategy. When he went to high school, he discovered track & field, and then he was, of course, allowed to pursue it every day. But he was old enough then to schedule himself. We never had a Play Station and he never spent endless hours in front of a screen. He wasn't the first kid to have a cell phone or an iPod either. We also never organized huge birthday parties of 25 kids or all those over-the-top expenditures that do nothing to enrich a child's life.

I think that, if kids are handed everything the second they say they want it, they never learn to make choices, to do without, or to really value things. They never learn to think if they aren't required to - if all they are given is constant information overload and don't have to process it.

I think kids need to be kids. I would say to stick to your values. You will be glad you did when your children CAN adjust to the college of their choice, CAN engage with adults in the workplace, and so on. This endless pressure to rack up achievements and activities in order to get into a top college is completely bogus. My son was recruited by excellent colleges and he is flourishing precisely because he was not over-scheduled or pressured endlessly. We had standards, don't get me wrong. But we didn't drive him into the ground and pile up stress on all of us.

I have heard of it, but haven't seen it yet. From what I've heard of it, though, it reinforces our decision to homeschool our children.

Our school counselor recommended it, and my daughter's dad went to see it. I know how you feel about salmon swimming upstream. The pressure here in the SF Bay area is intense, to say the least. Last year one of our high schoolers laid down on the train tracks in front of an oncoming train. Threre were probably multiple reasons for her suicide but the fact that she did it right outside the school speaks volumes.

I personally am wavering between making sure my daughter is challenged (i.e. not coasting through school) and feeling scared to overload her. Hearing all of the other moms claim how I need to put her in all AP classes to get into a good college sure doesn't help, but I try to tune that out.

Sorry if this doesn't answer your question well; guess I am commiserating more than helping : )

Hi Jen,

Here are my thoughts, having just completed the "race" (i.e., college apps and acceptances) with my daughter.

The pressure we put on our kids to get into a good school is enormous, mainly because there are so many students competing for a limited number of places. The path to getting into one of the top 25 national universities is to take the most challenging course load your school offers, have a high GPA (above 3.75 weighted, and in some cases, above 4.0, weighted), and score above 650 in all sections of the SAT. In addition, students should be well-rounded, having participated in multiple clubs and activities, possibly sports, and been active volunteers. I know that sounds harsh, but take a look at the common data set statistics for the top 25 schools (as ranked by US News and World report) and you'll see what I mean.

To give you an idea (hopefully, not to scare you!) here are some of the acceptance rates for the colleges my daughter applied to -- it's a bit daunting. This year, only 11% of the total number of applicants were accepted into UC Santa Cruz (rank: 72), whereas 4 years ago, around 40% of the applicants were accepted. Less than 7% of the applicants were accepted into Northwestern (rank:12), compared to 27% 4 years ago. About 29% of the applicants were accepted into Emory (rank: 20) this year, as compared to 34% 4 years ago.

Given these numbers, we're delighted that Laura was accepted at UCSC and wait-listed at Emory (even though the chances of getting off of the wait list are slim-to-none). What's more important, is that we all think UCSC will be the right school for her, given its strength in her chosen field, extra-curricular opportunities (such as clubs, study abroad, internships, and research opportunities), the type of student body, instructor/student ratio, location, etc.

There are over 3000 colleges and universities in the US, and there's a right place for everyone. Most of these schools don't require the kind of academic rigor needed to get into one of the top 20 or even top 100 schools, and most of them offer equally good learning opportunities and environments. The real proof is in getting a foot hold on a decent career path afterward. (After all, that's the real goal, right?) Unfortunately, with a downward trending economy and increasing (though stabilizing) birth rate, things are just going to keep getting more competitive, I'm afraid, hence the drive to get into the best school possible. Still, there are certainly more jobs available than can be filled by top school students, and graduating from a top school does not necessarily guarantee getting a top a job.

The trick at this point when your children are young, though, is helping them strike a good balance, and that's going to depend on your children's talents, personalities, and desires. My daughter is the driven type. I actually objected to the amount of time she spent with her main activity and the course load because I was concerned about the stress she was putting on herself, but I had to let her make those decisions, and she was determined. My son, on the other hand, is a total slider (not slacker), and is happy to do just enough to get where he wants to go. When both were younger, I supported whatever they were interested in, but gave them a bit more direction in terms of encouraging them to try out a variety of activities until each found the things they liked to do. I always insisted that both try their hardest, but I never set a bar for grades. Fortunately, my daughter did that herself (it can be both a blessing and a curse to have a self-motivated, competitive child!), but my son, to my frustration, was satisfied with Cs and Bs, mainly because he refused to do or hand in assignments; he still got into a good college (also UCSC). No matter what, I always insisted on good sportsmanship, though, regardless of whatever type of activity or competition the kids participated in (sports or academic).

One thing I was adamant about, was not over-scheduling in elementary and middle school, and leaving plenty of time for free play and exploration. That included encouraging lots of reading time (with or without me), educational video games (with or without me), and some educational and "worthless" TV time (again, with or without me. It's amazing how much value a parent can add to an otherwise junky show.) We took lots of outings to the beach, museums, and unusual places (like to an old cemetery to read historic markers), hiked a lot during the summer, and did community service as a family or with the scouts. Both kids were active in scouting, which, if involved with a good troop, can offer tons of opportunities for friendships, exploration, adventure, leadership, and plain old fun with a minimum of stress on academics. In fact, my daughter's desire to study economics and go into business stemmed from the fun she had selling GS cookies! We allowed each only one scheduled activity beyond scouts and religious school at a time. This gave them the foundation to develop the type of well-rounded experiences that colleges like to see, since by the time they got to high school, each had a pretty good idea as to where their passions lay.

The point is, you don't have to be a salmon swimming up stream, but you don't have to totally go with the flow, either. There are lots of ways to build strong, inquisitive adults, and if you work together with your kids, you'll find the path that's right for them, and you.

I saw it and really, really enjoyed it! As an elementary school teacher and a mom of a two year old I thought it was very powerful and a must see for any parent with a school aged child! I would tend to agree that there is a big emphasis on hw here in Ventury County, but there is also a strong presence of parents who work hard to implement lots of play, encourage a strong sense of family work hard to put their children first. With that being said, standards are standards and grades are grades so it is really up to the parents to decide what is the most important tool to measure their childs' learning. =)

I would like to see the documentary but cannot find where to watch it online. Can the DVD be rented somewhere? Any suggestions?

I am going to see this movie on Wednesday with the discussion group afterwards. I will post my comment then.

This is such a great question. My child is seven, so I am just at the beginning of the journey. I ponder how hard I will "push" - I don't want to sell him short on what he may be capable of, but I don't want to pressure him to do something that isn't driven by an internal flame either. We are on the less-scheduled end of the spectrum, but just playing Little League has changed that a lot - 3-5 games/practices per week! Luckily this is just for a couple of months. I saw the movie and thought it was imperfect but very thought provoking. I really loved the quote from the boy that became the title of the movie.
Another interesting part of my story is that 25 years ago I left high school early because I was tired of everything being taught just for the tests (back then there were ACT and AP). If I felt that way then, how will my child feel now that the testing (and teaching to the test) starts so young? Our son is in a small alternative public elementary that has a very flexible, child and teacher -centered curriculum. I'm not sure how long I will keep him there, but after I saw the Race to Nowhere I thought he was in the perfect place. Hmmmmmmmm - I wish we could have two or three chances with each kid!!