Proof of Successful Parenting

I think that success lies in what you deem successful. Some are happy when their kids graduate high school. Others aren't happy unless their kids have a shot at getting into Yale.

For me to not lay awake doubting at night or wondering what I did wrong at some point, I would wish my daughter to be balanced. Faithful, humorous, honest, a solid sense of her own worth without excessive pride, the knowledge that she's going to make mistakes and she'll live through them but the desire to not make them. And if I've done well, she'll know that she's loved and she'll look at others with patience and kindness - not letting herself be abused but viewing others with intolerance or hate.

As for her father, who is leaving for Iraq in January, God bless you and yours, for him to be successful, at this point, I'm hoping it means our daughter believes it's possible and desirable to have a relationship with a boy/man once she's old enough.

I will feel successful if my children grow up to be happy, self-confident individuals, who continue to have a close bond with their mother (LOL!). It doesn't really matter to me if they ever go to college, but I do hope to instill a love of learning. I am going about this by homeschooling in a way that my children get to pick and choose what they want to learn about. Essentially, we are unschooling.

Expecting a little more than you want from your kids - think back - did we do everything we were supposed to?

Sharing your values and morals with your children - I can still remember my mother and father's voices when something (that shouldn't have been on TV, was). If you don't share they won't know. They will learn from their friends - do you want that???

CHURCH - everyone needs to find a church that works for them and have FAITH. Some people think that they are too bad for church - a church is like a hospital for sinners - we are all sinners and we need to come closer to God and realize HOW we SHOULD be living and forgive those that aren't there yet! If we were all raised to Love God and live like Him we probably wouldn't need boards like these would we?
I am SO proud of our children - they all love going to church and sunday school and Christian Concerts! They know if they ask us to buy them music (and it is Christian) we will most likely say yes!

Don't buy toys/games - that you wouldn't want as models for your children's lives.

Don't give everything they want - they appreciate everything more if you follow this.

Allow them to work problems out between each other (Sibling rivalry)- unless someone is getting physically hurt.

introduce them to many many things and places.

We used to pick a day when nothing was planned and we'd call it a mystery day - we went to Arms Museum then to a playground then to.... no one knew where we were going until we got there!

Always let them know you LOVE them for who they are - and ENCOURAGE them each and every day!

Make sure they know Right from Wrong!

I think if you kids are Happy, well mannered and behavied (most of the time), thriving phisicaly and mentaly and you are also happy, then you are a succesfull parent. I think the same standards hold ture for a father, they just tend to get to the end result is differant ways than we do. I think every child is differant and what you have to do for each is differant, so to define a good parent by the parent and not the child would not work.

Well, this is something I think about a lot. I worry because my ex is not in my daughter's life at all, nor is any of his family...their choice. I tried and finally gave up on trying to get them to be a part of my daughters life. I just worry that this will affect her in the long run, negatively, and it is something I really struggle with. I, though, have a a great mom and we both absolutely adore my daughter. I think if my daughter grows up to be be kind to others, respectful, and responsible, I will have been a success as a mom. Although she is still young, I can already see the positive affects of my parenting has had on her, which makes me feel so good. She is very loving and selfless. If she spills something, she immediately gets a paper towel and tries to clean it. I am firm, but fair and loving in setting boundaries for her. I know she still has a lot of growing to do, but I think it is very crucial to start young. I want her to grow up to be a strong woman who has confidence and independence. I had a great role model in my mother. My father died when I was young, so it was just my mom and I most of my life. I saw the sacrifices she made. She taught me to be responsible, kind to others, strong, and indepedent. I may not get the chance to see my daughter as often I would like, but I hope she one day understands that I worked hard, at both my job, and in college, so that I could provide a good, stable, happy life for her and I. That, although her dad may not be involved, I am here for her now and always. That, will make all the sleep I have lost worth it! lol

i too think of this alot,growing up i always wondered what my mom was thinking and how she said she was a good mom and was very proud of me when she had a very tiny part in my upbringing.and i still to this day think that,but for me proof of my success will be when my kids grow up if they are respectful,reponsiable adults.i well know that my proof is on its way also if my children turn out to be respectful,reponsiable teens. i think as parnets all we can really do to make sure we are sucessful parents is to make sure our kids are instilled with good values and morels.all we can really do is see that they not make the same mistakes we did and if they do not to critasize them for it. to be sucess ful we also have to be ther for our kids no matter what road in life they choose. in todays world so many parents are giving up on ther kids because of there life choses,due to the fact that it is not the way they where brought up.as a child and young adult i had always said the if and when i had kids they would not grow up the way i did and when i got married my husband had said the same thing but we did to our kids what our parent did to us. luckly our kids are still young enough for us to try to fix what we broke. and i say we because it was the both of us that caused our divorce not just one .to me all i can hope for is that i have tought my kids the diffrece between rite and wrong and hope thay truly know the diffrence.

K.,
I think this is a loaded question. lol. I tend to think about this myself being a young mom with another on the way. I believe that it is our responsibility as christians to raise our kids according to the Bible so they can grow in Christ and one day serve Him. And I was told that if I was going to be a good mom I would read to my child frequently. I also agree with the point the other mom made in her response. And I pray for your family and your children who are serving our country and for all the sacrifices made along the way.

I think being a successful parent can partially be reflected in the choices that children make as they grow up, and how much support they need, in order to make their choices. My goal for my children is that they ultimately grow up to be happy, productive, and informed members of our society, who have great memories of their childhood, who view others with fairness and realize that there is diversity throughout the world, so it is difficult to judge others based upon only individual experiences. I think the choices that our children make, reflect how these ideals and values have been taught to them, and therefore we can feel as though we've accomplished "successful parenting" when we see our core values displayed through those choices. If children grow into adults who never feel comfortable making their own decisions and choices, then I think there may have been a flaw in the parenting process, because it would be best for children to grow into adults who can make choices on their own (considering we'd like them to be able to do so, once we are no longer alive!) That all being said, it is still such an individual ideal, because we probably all have different goals for our children; some specific, and some more general. Once our children grow up, we can look at how we feel about our parenting, and if we did the best we could - maybe that's the final definition of success as a parent. Part of my idea is based upon my dad's parenting skills and how I've turned out as an adult, and part is based upon my own life experiences. I am not sure about my ex-husband, because we've never spoken about this, but my boyfriend and I both tend to agree on this ideal. Great question, K.!