Problem Sleeper!

Updated on April 28, 2007
H.L. asks from Pleasant Prairie, WI
7 answers

I need advice! My almost 8 month old daughter just doesn't sleep anymore! She wakes numerous times in the night. I try and let her cry. Once she really gets worked up I have to get her, it breaks my heart. Every night I fight 2-3 hours to get her back down. This usually takes place from like 1am to 5am! I've tried sound soothers, her crib aquarium used to work. I can't do this much longer! My husband is no help. She is nursed and he figures he can't help. Oh, she's refused the bottle for about four months now. Anyways, He has to work in the morning and I am "just a stay at home mom". So I'd feel guilty to get him up anyways. Well, I stopped feeding her at night when she slept all night two nights in a row. I've tried limiting her naps during the day, to letting her get good naps as well. Please help! She eats really good all day as well. Food for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Also feed her around 7:30pm cereal. Gosh, any help is welcome! No... she's not teething either. sigh.

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So What Happened?

Oh my gosh! I should have written long ago! LOL. I started to make her put herself to sleep at naptime. Not crying though, that I couldn't handle. She has now been sleeping wonderful for a week, so far! Thanks so much for all the input!!!

More Answers

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L.G.

answers from Chicago on

Hi H.!

We went through this as well. My son was never a great sleeper (he had a good month around 5 months but other than that he always woke a couple of times a night). By the time we went to the doctor for his 9 month appointment he was waking every 2 hours and I would be up most of the night with him. The doctor said that I had to teach him to put himself to sleep and basically do the Ferber method (going in to check on him at increasing intervals). I have to tell you that it is horrible to get through so you have to be prepared and you will need your husband's support. The first night my son screamed for 5 hours straight. The next night it was an hour and 40 minutes, night 3 was 45 minutes, night 4 back up to an hour, night 5 20 minutes, etc. It took about a week and a half before he would stop crying after just a minute or wouldn't cry at all. Oh, and he vomited for 3 or 4 nights too, and still does that every once in a while. I'm telling you, it was sooooo difficult and I drank a lot of alcohol in between visits to check on him. But since then he sleeps on average 10.5 hours straight a night. We still have bad nights here and there, but overall it is sooo much better.

Good luck to you!
L.

1 mom found this helpful
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A.S.

answers from Austin on

What worked for me when my son woke like that (almost exactly what you are describing but he never slept through the night begin with). I would put him to bed in his crib at bed time, then he would wake usually around 2 or 3 and I would go get him and bring him to bed with my husband and I, he would nurse off and on, and I would get more rest instead of fighting with him. Then I would get up around 4:30 or 5 for work. It was the only way I could get any rest. Around 10-12 months I night weaned, still brought him to bed but would only let him nurse for very short periods (like seconds). If he fussed, I would put him back on, but again only for a short time. After a while he learned he wasn't really going to get what he wanted, and then not too long after that, he stopped waking/coming to bed with us.

I love the Book "The No-Cry Sleep Solution". Everyone told me to let him cry it out and I am so glad I didn't. He is such a well adjusted little boy cause he knows he can count on me.

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K.

answers from Chicago on

forget the "just a stay at home mom thing." when we had this problem, we eventually figured out our son just wanted some mommy time. a couple of nights of my partner responding with a bottle of water (and sticking it out that this was what was available) cured him of his need to wake. You could do it over the weekend if your husband just can't bear the idea of being tired the next day, and if you feel like she might be hungry, he could bring her a bottle of expressed milk or formula (but you run the risk of that being an acceptable choice for her), but the key has to be that it's not you. He's got to be invested though and not give up after 10 minutes...if he's the one who responds to her cries, every time, for a couple of nights, she'll likely decide it's not worth the bother just for a bottle of water.

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M.G.

answers from Chicago on

I agree with Jennifer P. I think napping good helps them sleep better at night, i wouldn't take that away... also I put both of my kids to bed around 6-6:30 at that age as well and they slept through the night until at least 7:30-8:00am. Just something to think about.

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J.P.

answers from Chicago on

You mentioned that you limited her naps during the day? IF SO...you need to know that in babies sleep begets sleep. The more she sleeps the better she sleeps. If she naps well during the day she will sleep better at night (if this is the problem) if she doesn't nap during the day she could be way overtired and can't settle down enough to get into a deep sleep. At 8 months she should be getting 2 naps and about a total of about 14 hours a day. Therefore about 11-12 hours at night and about 2 or more hours in naps during the day. You may also look at what time she goes to bed.....if may be too late. At 8 months my son went to bed a t 6PM woke up at 6AM napped at 8AM for two hours and then again at 1PM for an hour. I know babies are all different but that is what we were doing.

This may not help at her age but to get my breastfed son to sleep through the night (which he didn't do until 12 months)I started to supplement for night feedings and my husband woke up with him. That lasted about 1 night. My son didn't think the bottle was worth waking up for. Every since he has slept through the night about 90% of the time. If you want to try this don't feel guilty your husband is your daughters parent too!!

I know these suggestions are specific to us but you mentioned any help would be welcomed :) GOOD LUCK!!!

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E.B.

answers from Chicago on

I have to agree with the sleep begets sleep philosophy. It seems counterintuitive, but an earlier bedtime has made our son sleep later and better. And definitely let your daughter nap well during the day. I really think that might help your problem.

And although your husband works, I think it's fair for him to lend his support overnight, even if it's only as you both figure out this problem. Being a SAHM is the only true full-time job - you need some time off to recharge. Good luck!

p.s. - "just a stay at home mom"?! You are doing the most important job there is - raising children to be responsible adults. I am a teacher and believe, me, good parenting makes all the difference. Give yourself the credit you deserve :)

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P.

answers from Chicago on

H.
The problem might be two things. Is the baby teething? You may want to talk to your Pediatrician about Infant Tylenol or Motrin. Also, is the baby taking cereal yet? If not, you may want to try some rice cereal before bed. Good luck.

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