Overwhelmed & Can't Make Decisions!

Updated on May 23, 2011
S.T. asks from Denver, CO
11 answers

Hi moms. So my baby is six months old, I'm a new mom, and I am working part time. Everything is pretty "normal" - whatever that means after having a baby. I just find that since I've had my baby I get so overwhelmed so often! I can't even go grocery shopping without just feeling like there are so many choices. I have a list but I just see all this stuff and think, oh, maybe I could buy that and make this, or maybe I could make this, etc. etc. and before I know it I just get so overwhelmed and don't know what I'm doing! So I either just go home or end up buying half the store and later throwing most of it out because I didn't use it/didn't have time. This is happening with everything: my house (all the little projects that aren't done), work, my baby - I'm freaking out about everything! Like today, we have all these little shelf areas in our upstairs (built into the wall) that a lot of people will put stuff up on (we haven't had anything up there since we've lived here for over four years) - so now I decided to freak out about this and had the urge to go to Hobby Lobby and buy mass quantities of vases and baskets to fill these spaces... then I got to the store and got overwhelmed again and just left my half full cart in the middle of the store!

I just feel all of the sudden like I have too many decisions to make and feel like my life is an unorganized mess and I just want to cry and throw everything away and start over! My "to do" list has become massive... Why can't I let it go? What's wrong with me???

What can I do next?

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G.T.

answers from Modesto on

Fatigue and stress will make you get confused easily. It's kinda normal for the first few years of motherhood until you get used to "thinking" for the kiddos.

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S.C.

answers from Fort Wayne on

It does sound like a form of PPD to me as well. I suffer from mild depression and that overwhelming feeling is usually the start of the slide. After going to therapy, I've learned how to stop it before it starts.

For me, I have to ask my husband for help. He's amazing. I find that I'll let the house work slide for a few days, then I just freak out because I can't clean it all. With my husband's help (mostly to keep me focused) we can get it done in an hour. Or I just start with one thing at a time. Like I'll plan to do the dishes. Then I'll do them. Then after the dishes I clean the counter. Just one little thing at a time.

You can apply that to the grocery store, work or any home projects. Just one task at a time. Don't give in to impulses like rushing out to buy stuff for the shelves. Put it on your list of stuff to do. Maybe try to make something that you already have in the house work.

If you feel like you can't manage it on your own, talk to a therapist.

Good luck!

3 moms found this helpful

S.A.

answers from Chicago on

This sounds like postpartum depression to me. Some people think that if they're still able to take care of the baby and aren't sitting & crying all day, that they don't have it-but the lack of concentration and feeling overwhelmed most of the time are definitely symptoms of it. Talk to your OB. There is no shame in this- they deal with this kind of thing all the time.

3 moms found this helpful

V.W.

answers from Minneapolis on

You sound exactly like me. Mine is almost 7 months. I was just diagnosed with depression a couple weeks ago, but have been feeling this way for a while. So depression might be what's wrong with you.

Talk to your doctor about it, and see what she/he says. Mine finally told me that I needed to either go to therapy or get on anti-depressants.

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A.C.

answers from Springfield on

It definately sounds like postpartum. The funny thing about postpartum comes in many different ways and you may never know that you have it. Don't just brush this off. Get checked out for your sanity! :) If it is postpartum understand that many of us have suffered from it or are suffering from it. I suffered from it, but didn't realize it till after the fact. I was sooooooo angry; I'm talking angry wanna seriously hurt anything that walked may path. I aslo have had a friend that has suffered from it with every child that she has had! Good luck! I hope you get som help!

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

What is wrong with you?
You are a Mom now.

This sense of having SO much to think about and do... will not end.

Take time for yourself.
Jot it down on a calendar too. AND tell your Hubby of your 'schedule.'

HE can help too. Its his home and baby too.
A Man can do everything, just like a woman, except breastfeed.

1 mom found this helpful
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S.W.

answers from Minneapolis on

Throw away the to-do list and replace it with a short one:

take care of baby
take care of myself
ask for help from SO

Then talk with your doctor if this continues.

1 mom found this helpful
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M.C.

answers from Washington DC on

Welcome to motherhood!

One thing that my friend does, which I can't seem to, is plan a full meal, as she writes her grocery list. While she's looking at the ads for what is on sale, she plans her meals. If chicken is on sale, she'll write:
chicken - sale,
stuffing,
green beans.

As for your decoring, take one shelf at a time. Just because its been empty for 4 years, doesn't mean that it has to be filled in 1 day. When you are at the store, and see something interesting, buy the one thing. Then as you see other items, think how they would look with the one thing you already have.

1 mom found this helpful

N.G.

answers from Dallas on

Hormones can do crazy things to you- one of the symptoms of my PPD (post-partum depression) was the inability to pay attention. I couldn't focus on any one thing for any length of time, which included decisions. You can suffer from hormone-related things like this for quite a while after you have a baby. I would mention it to your gyno for sure.

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K.T.

answers from Chicago on

Nothing is wrong with you...you are a Mom and need to find your new "normal" . How you used to do things aren't the same as you need to do things going forward.
First when you are at work, then work. Don't write your grocery list or think of all the things you need to do at home. When you are home with your little one, be with her/him and play and don't worry about what you need to do at work or that there are crumbs on the floor. Ask for help, either from your husband, Mom, MIL, Sister, friends... whatever it takes. Take a hard look at your list and what is important on it and what would be nice to do or what you really want to do. I have been a SAHM, a part time working Mom and a Full time working Mom. Each time I had to change how I was going to get things done and what I could let go of...or never do. And when to ask for help.
Ask some of your other Mom friends how they feel. A majority will say they feel the same. If you feel that it is beyond this then by all means seek professional help. You will burn out or lash out if you don't figure it out and change.

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P.W.

answers from San Francisco on

You sound like someone who is sleep-deprived. Sleep deprivation makes little things huge. I think when you get more sleep, this will get better.

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