Overcoming Fear

I too know just how you feel. I've been a hairstylist for about 7yrs now and I LOVE my job--DON'T GIVE UP! I've always been shy but this job has been the best for that. It's helped me to open up more easily at least with a one on one basis. I had a real hard time in beauty school and for a couple years out of school. I think Dawn had excellent advice (I wish someone would've told me that when I just started!). Try not to worry about convincing people your trust worthy, just assume the trust is already there. If they seem worried just shrug it off, you can make a comment or two like "don't worry your in good hands".

Communication is the key to a good stylist. Just make sure to REALLY listen to what they want and mostly what they DON'T want. Repeat it back to them before you start and through out the hair cut. Tell them you know exactly what they mean, and agree with them when they say what they don't want. If they feel you know exactly what they want and don't want they will feel comforted.

I would start with basic questions like where are you from, what do you do, do you have kids, siblings, ect., just to get a conversation going, but you don't have to talk the whole time. It may seem lame to ask the same questions all the time but who cares, it gets a conversation started and you want to appear relaxed.

Whatever you do don't give up. I have a friend who makes close to $1000 a day doing hair (that makes me want to puke!) so don't let anyone say you can't make money doing hair! It can be one of the most flexible jobs you can ever have, once your clients know and love you they will wait for you if you need time off (I'm on maternity leave right now). And it gets easier and more fun each year you do it, just hang in there!

Sorry about the huge long message, if you ever need any other advice send me a message I'll be happy to help. And don't worry about the state board test, the hardest part is not being so nervous!

Hi D.,

I know what you are going through. I went to cosmetology school 10 years ago here in mesa, and I had 200 hours left and could'nt go through with the rest. I was so nervious about taking the test at the end because I am shy and reserved just like you. It's so hard for me to talk to people and I wish there was a way to get over it somehow. My daughter that is 6 now is alot like me too. But my son that is 2 is totally opposite.

So, I decided hair and working in a salon was not really my thing or my personallity and I had to learn to move on and do what I really wanted to do witch was be a mother.

I also know alot of people that have gone to school and relized that is not what they want to do and go on to something else. But if you love what you do that go for it!

So after that i go married, found a nanny job that paid better then working in a salon and then had a baby 2 years later.

I now work from home and love it!

I wish I had some asnwers for you but I don't. I would love to hear if anyone else out there has over came their shyness.

Good luck!
Kris

I know exactly how you feel. I used to be a model and had a little experience with acting too, but I am the biggest wallflower! By nature, I'm just a really shy person.
This is going to sound really corny, but I swear it worked for me...try putting yourself into "character". This is really the only way I can describe it. The idea isn't to be fake (always be yourself) but to radiate that confidence that you know you have deep down inside. Write down what you like about yourself and exactly what image of yourself you want to portray to others. Study it like its for an acting role. Then when you put yourself into "character" you become that confident person. It isn't easy and definatly a little awkward at first, but you'll find the more you practice the easier it becomes. You'll be out of your shell in no time...I was. :)
As far as getting others to know you enough to trust you...just be yourself, remain confident, and remember that attitude is everything! Also, make lots of eye contact. Looking down or looking away (which can totally be due to shyness) can get misinterpreted as those shifty eyes no one can trust.
As for your daugter, I would suggest just trying to instill a sense of self confidence in her. Maybe you could even get her involved with some kind of group activity through school or other, like dance lessons or something. Bet that would help alot.
Good luck to you, stay confident, and remember that practice makes perfect. You go girl!!!

Hi D., when do you complete cosmetology school? Becoming confident takes practice. Fake it till ya make it was said to me when i just started out in the cosmetology field. When you are home alone with your kids, are you talkative? Are you confident? I find that a person is confident and not as shy if they are addressing what they know, what they are passionate about. Stay focussed on that and you'll learn to ask the right questions to get others to talk so you don't have to do all the talking. Listening is a well respected habit. I work at a salon not far from surprise so let me know if and when you might be interested in checking us out. We are always looking for nice and professional people. a lot of us are moms too.

I'm no expert :), but I would say that as you become more outspoken, your children will also. It is amazing how quickly children pick up on things and mimic things. You could also talk to them about it. Tell them, in kid terms, that sometimes mommy has a hard time talking to new people. Tell them that you are going to work on getting good at talking to new people. You can even ask your three year old if she can help you think of things to talk to people about. I am sure you will get answers like "puppies", but if she sees you thinking through it, then maybe she will too.

Hi D. I too was extremely shy, but you just start talking to people,. Sounds kinda rude but when your in line like at the store kinda listen in to prople talking, if there joking around join in conversation, lightly, ask the person who is waiting how they are, make small talk, do what ever you need to, make it a point to wave to your neighbors, etc. My hubby now says he hates to go anywhere with me I talk to much.LOL But seriously it'll get easier. Good Luck