I've been watching a sweet little 3 year old boy, 2 days a week, for about 5 hours each, for free. The mom is a friend of a friend of a friend... you get the point. She had been going through a really hard time... 2 miscarriages, her business fell apart, some (psycho) is suing her (the friend isn't at fault and will win the case, but it's adding to her stress and taking away from her finances)... she enrolled in school to try to better herself for her family, and so I agreed to watching her son those 2 days a week.
WELL, as busy as I am with my own stuff on a daily basis, we're also getting pretty close to my wedding date. I thought I had made it clear to her that I wouldn't be able to watch her son beginning June 1st. Well she said something today (which I kind of didn't catch until we got off the phone), that her sister would be able to take over the free child care on June 21st. Yeah, that's not going to work!! I don't want to leave her hanging because school is important, but I can't overwhelm myself any more than I already have. I'm doing this for nothing (except in good faith and good karma, LOL!!) I want to help her, but I can't after June 1st. What can I say to her? I really don't want her to be unable to go to her classes for those weeks, you know? Trying to do a good thing here.
It is March, June is a long time away, she has plenty of time to make other arrangements, call her back and tell her that you are unavailable after June 1st as you originally told her. No apologies needed either. You have been a great friend and seriously, she needs to accept this. It was awesome of you to do that for her!
Call her back right now and tell her. Just say that you realized she said June 21 and you can only watch until June 1 -you are just calling to make doubly sure she realizes that. If she says no-she didn't realize just say to her that that was your arrangement and that you are SO sorry that she got it wrong. To be honest I think she knows and is pretending not to. You have done MORE than enough for this woman so do not feel a bit bad about this. Hopefully her sister will be able to start a little bit earlier or she can take to a drop in child care and pay for it like the rest of the world does.
I would just tell her now she will have time to find something else for her child then. You can only do what you can and if she has a problem with that then she isn't being very appreciative. I feel for her circumstances and I applaud you for helping her but you have your own life to deal with. Just remind her of the fact that you can't watch him past June 1st. She may have just forgotten about that seeing how she has so much going on. Don't let it stress you.
The next time you see her, wait until you see her, and tell her something she said has stuck in your mind. Let her know you just want to be clear on something, you both on the same page. Then tell her as of June 1st I cannot watch your precious little boy. Then say the other day when we were on the phone I thought you said your sister would take over after June 21st, let her know that you cannot do it after May. You have too much on your plate as it is, and just cannot handle anymore stress.
You are a wonderful woman to help out this girl, she should be very appreciative and someone will help her out. Don't add extra stress on yourself.
I would call her back and tell her that you didn't realize the date she said until you were off the phone but wanted to be sure she remembered that you can't watcher her child after June 1st. Take the conversation from there. If she truly didn't remember, she has two months to figure it out. Maybe she can have a few people take different days until the 21st arrives.
Around here, classes end around the end of May and Summer Semesters don't start until mid-late June so she may actually have June 1st through June 21 covered herself already.
I agree, call her and tell her the deal was till June 1st and that right now you need to worry about your wedding. Don't make it any more complicated and just leave it simple. She should understand with all this wedding planning and don't feel guilty about saying no, there are things that you just need to put your foot down and go with whats right.
Best wishes
You are helping the best you can. I have babysat my grandchildren many times and sometimes it gets inconvient. If this mom is going to school there should be a daycare at the school. If her income is low she should be able to qualify for daycare assistance. Suggest that she look into daycare assistance.
Lately I've been babysitting my 3.5 month grandson. Both parents work 2nd or 3rd shift, finding a daycare for anything but 1st shift is difficult. At this point he's easy to care for he mostly sleeps and eats. In a couple of months, when he mobile, caring for him will not be as easy. His mom is looking for a 1st shift job and looking into daycare assistance for him. I do what I can and don't feel guilty if I can't do any more.
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I would call her and tell her your were happy to help her. But you are only able to help until June 1st. She should be grateful and understanding. You are doing her a huge favor.
You've done a lot.. You should be proud of yourself..
Well, you have your own life too..you've been generous of your time and she should understand your predicament comes june 1st. I believe that by explaining things to her calmly would make her realize that you've done a huge favor for her and now you need time for wedding preparations.
Call her right now. Explain to her that you realized what she said and there is NO WAY you can do it. Tell her even if she fails to find someone else, you can't do it. She has plenty of time to find someone. Also, I had to tell one M. that failing to arrange babysitting is not an emergency in my book and I will not be babysitting if she does. Rude maybe, but she was actually going to try it and I could tell since she had made zero efforts to find someone else and asked me "Well, didn't you say you would do it if it were an emergency?"
