Neighbor Kids That Come over All the Time

There's a bounce house place near my house and they are open during the week and weekend, but they only have "open Jump" for a couple hours a day, a few days a week. The rest of the time is reserved for parties. I think this approach could work for you. Make up a sign that says "Jump Time" and that's the ONLY time they can come over and jump unless they are specifically invited. And establish rules to play by - I say do this with their mom so she's involved and feels a part of the plan. Hope that helps!

Maybe the boys aren't being taught neighborly etiquette.Talk the their parents. Set some boundaries for the visiting boys. Stick to them. Exchange phone numbers with their parents so if you want to INVITE the boys over, you can. If not, don't. Simple. If you like them to visit once in a while, INVITE them over to do something different. You'd be surprised how much they can like cooking, planting, nature walks, etc. Oftentimes, we dismiss expanding the interests and experiences of little boys because they're "boy boys". Opening their minds to new ideas will benefit them in the long run. Grown men have to start somewhere, right?
Lastly, it's okay to want to spend time with your daughter alone; more parents should be that smart. Your children need their time alone with you. As parents, why are we so afraid that setting boundaries to protect our familiy or enhance our own family experience will offend a neighbor? What it means to be a good neighbor has surely changed over the years. Get back to basics.

I raised 6 kids on my own and found I had to have some control over who came and went. I wanted my kids to have friends but I needed a small amount of extra kids at the house and I needed my a lone time with them. I finally made a stop sign on one side and a go sign on the other. When I would allow any neighbor kids to play, I put the go sign on the door othewise I put the stop sign out and I did the inviting.

I educated the kids ( a few times) on the meaning of the sign and they soon learned to respect my wishes.

It sounds like the boys are coming to "use" your tramp and not play with your girls. Is there someone else with a tramp that they can go to? It might help to find out who else in the neighborhood they can play with that might have boys their own age.

Good luck, I understand not wanting to hurt anyone's feelings but.... family comes first.

Just keep saying no. Let them know you will invite them when the time is right but that might only be 1-2 times a month and it will be under certain rules. One strike and you are out and will never be allowed on the tramp again. Really aside from there rough behavior and their intrusion on your family time and their general peskiness....Tramps are a huge liability issue. Their rowdy behavior is going to cause injury to themselves or someone else and you could be sued.

I am sorry but I would just tell them that they are to old to be hanging at your house rough housing. You have little girls and it not like they are acting civil when they are over. I like to have my sons friends over but NOT everyday. Tell Mommie next door that you think they need to invest in a trampoline...LOL!! Make sure you do this before summer!!!

Whatever happened to No means NO?
If they keep this up, talk to their parents. Do your kids ever go over to thier house?

uh yeah, insurance companies "stick it to you" as one of the last moms posted because they have paid out MILLIONS of dollars on trampoline injuries and DEATHS! I'm an insurance agent in AZ so just tell your little friends that "your" insurance agent has advised you that you have to much at risk to lose if someone gets hurt on your property so there will be no more jumping on the trampoline. Good luck!

Just go talk to the boys parents, let them know that when you let them jump on the trampoline that they are being rowdy and you don't like that. Also let the parents know they think just because you let them jump a couple days they think they can come over anytime they want and jump. I am sure things will work out.

I'd talk to the mom. She may already realize that her kids are being annoying. Or she might be using you for free babysitting. Lay it out that the kids are a lot older than your kids and you think they only want to be on the trampoline. If you feel like watching them occasionally, then tell them you will do the inviting. Otherwise, tell them no. We've had problems now and then with neighbors -- one time neighbors asked to cut through our yard and that opened the flood gate for their whole extended family (there were family homes on both sides of the street and our back gate was a convenient cut through). In the end, after my husband asked them not to and they did it again, we padlocked the back gate. Our daughter no longer played with the neighbor girl behind us and it was a leftover from the previous owners. Sometimes you just have to be firm if it's really a problem for you. Whoever said that a trampoline is a liability is right. If they can't behave, they can't play in your yard.

First of all there are very clear rules about the using ANY trampoline. Only ONE person on the trampoline at all times. It came with a printed rules sign from the manufacturer that should be attached to the trampoline, right next to the zipper. If your insurance agent comes over and that sign is not attached, you could receive a warning that your insurance could be canceled.

Also keep in mind if they are rough housing on the tramp and get injured.. You are liable. So this is a good reason for them to be able to come over, but only if you are willing to be safety patrol. Otherwise, their mom needs to be there with you to supervise and you still need to always be out there when others are using the trampoline.

Let the mom know that you and she will need to always be there to watch the kids and only one person at a time can be on the trampoline.

In our neighborhood, each family had a right to request behaviors in their homes and yards. No rough housing, no bad language, manners must be used at all times.. etc.. If the child would not follow the rules, they were to be escorted back to their parent with an explanation. Boy the kids really new that we were all on the same page.

Having a neighborhood full of kids is wonderful. Our "Hood" has been through the ultimate joys and a terrible tragedy, but it is worth it. Our kids are successful and we all know we can depend on each other.

This is a tough one because they are your next door neighbors. Maybe the next time the kids ask can you say "we love having you guys play with us sometimes, but not everyday because my family has plans on what we want to do together. We'll call you when we are ready to have you guys over?" Or tell them why don't you guys ask your parents for your own trampoline?(lol) Or maybe talk to the mom and say although you love their boys you aren't use to the rowdiness and would she mind telling the boys not to come over every day because you don't want to keep saying NO to them? I'm just throwing these suggestions out. You should be able to enjoy your backyard and your family time as you wish. The only other thing I could suggest if you don't want to hurt feelings etc, is offer a day and time each week when they can come over. Of course that makes you have to keep a schedule but..... if you want to keep the peace....

I hear you. If it were me, I would say, "we're having special family time right now" or "You may jump, but your mom has to come over and watch you and only one person at a time." If the mom complains or questions this, just say that you're terrified about people getting hurt on the trampoline, so you request her company. The upside is you get a friend to hang out with. The other upside is that this is not very fun, so the requests might become less frequent.

Feel free to insist that now is not the time for company. They aren't going to take it personally. And if they become too bothersome, say, "why don't you ask your mom to buy you a trampoline?" or "The trampoline is off limits to guests."

We have on in our yard and we debated it a lot, because (as I'm sure you know) they are statistically pretty dangerous. And you are completely liable.

Dear C.,
I think it's good for you to come up with a game plan now, because as you said, you are wondering how it's going to be when shool is out for summer.
You're just going to have to keep saying no. And if there's a day when you don't mind them visiting to jump, be very specific before they ever even get to the trampoline. Make them stand still and look at you while you tell them the RULES:
1. Tramp is for jumping ONLY
2. NO MEANS NO
3. NO fighting. NO wrestling. NO rough-housing. NO hitting.
4. NO zipping and unzipping. NO coming in and out.
5. When you say it's time for them to go home, it's time for them to go home. Period. (It doesn't matter what you're doing, where you're going, dinner or no dinner, whether you want family time or not, GO means GO).
5. If even ONE of the rules is broken, even ONE time, they will be told to leave immediately.

Make them repeat the rules to you before they ever get near the trampoline so there is no misunderstanding or them trying to argue with you that they didn't know or understand. They are both old enough to understand exactly what you are saying. There is also nothing wrong with you saying it's okay for them to visit for a bit before you start dinner (or whatever), but no trampoline. If they ask why...refer to Rule #2, above.

You might want to talk to their mother and make sure you have each other's phone numbers. She may have thought that you were inviting the boys all the time and them coming over so much was perfectly okay with you. Like the day you already told them no and they came back two minutes later saying their mom told them it was okay...That's when you could have picked up the phone and said, "I'm sorry. There must have been a misunderstanding. They boys just came back over saying you gave them permission to jump, but I had already told them not today."
You can be very friendly and nice about it, start off by saying you like the boys and they are very sweet, but somedays they get way too rough, and you know they are having fun, but sometimes they don't really listen to you when you say it's time for them to go so you can start dinner, etc. And I would tell her that one day you were down sick and they wanted to jump anyway. Tell her they are a lot of fun to have around sometimes but you have a 3 year old and your schedule runs differently having a little one and you'd just like to have a way to invite them to come and have fun and confim that it's okay with her first. Or, that way, she can call you and ask if they can come over. If you are sick or your kids are napping or you're leaving for an appointment, she'll know it's not a good time.
Trampolines are kid magnets for sure. I have a good friend who got one and a couple extra neighbor siblings were showing up and said their mom gave them permission. Turned out their mom didn't know they were over there at all. They were supposed to be somewhere else after school and you-know-what hit the fan. So, I would definitely communicate with the mom and have your steadfast rules. Let her know what the rules are too so that if the kids are given one hour to jump and they're back home in 15 minutes, it's because rules were broken.
Your rules are in place for safety reasons above all else and surely she should understand that.

I wish you the best!

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