The first thing you need to do, no matter how hard, is get your daughter into her own bed. Your bed is for you and your husband, this does not include your daughter. My daughter, now 2 1/2 yr, knows that she does not come into Mommy and Daddy's bedroom unless she first asks and receives permission. This will make it your room again.
Next, plan date nights with your man. There are plenty of parents out there who would be willing to swap nights/weekends with you on child care arrangements. This will lessen any financial strain, if there is any. You don't have to do anything expensive or extravagant, just a candle, blanket and picnic basket will give you a nice dinner on the beach, or at a park. Don't talk about the kids, talk about your hobbies and interests that have changed or become new since you had your daughter.
One thing you can do with your son, so he gets some good quality time with you, is something I miss that my dad did with me. He would pick a morning before school and take us out for a one-on-one breakfast. He was able to keep up on what was going on in our lives as well as keep a good strong connection with each of us.
I hope this is helpful for you.
May God bless you!