NEED ADVICE - Strong Willed One Year Old - HELP!

My son was the exact same way. I even resorted to stand up diaper changes because it meant I didn't get kicked. We actually started time outs at around this age. When he would start to throw a fit, we would plop him in his crib until he calmed down. As soon as the crying stopped we would go in and get him (it gave me a chance to calm down, too). I also started walking away from him (always keeping him in my eyesight, but I was out of his) until he calmed down. I think the key with him was to react as soon as he calmed down. We also started laying down the rules around this age. The key is to be consistent. Don't give in sometimes and then not give in others. It will only show her that if she catches you at the right time (and she will learn when that time is), you will cave. I learned that the hard way.

Jenn

My 2 year old used to scream every time we changed his diaper (still does sometimes). But this trick worked every time.... sing a song. He quieted right down. Old McDonald seems to be his favorite. Hope this helps.

As a mother of twins i know what you are going through. I have two very very strong willed 2 year olds, but i know where they get it from, LOL. Anyway as a suggestion, try letting her help, give her a wipe and have her clean her hands or face. When getting dressed we play the kissing game, i put the head of the shirt around my face and give them a big ol' kiss and they just laugh. I know that it really does get wearing, but if you do just hold her all the time that is what she is going to always expect, when she throws a tantrum then she will be able to get picked up. You have to remember that how you react now to her actions, is what she is going to believe is going to happen all the time.
I hope this was a little helpful.
Chriss

My daughter is 21 months and is also a fiesty one - very hot temper! I try to distract her with toys during diaper changes, etc. Sometimes I give her a wipe and tell her to wipe her cheeks, wipe her ears, etc. It is a game she and my son both like. During our morning and night routines I try to attend to her while she is drinking her bottle - the bottle is comforting for her though it is a bit hard to work around.

Something both of my kids have been responding to lately is this: when it is time for a diaper change I get all my supplies ready and sit on the floor. With my arms open wide I call one of them over and make a big fuss about how much I love them. We do hugs, kisses and tickles. Then we change the diaper and do more hugs kisses and tickles. Then it is the other's turn. It takes a little time but is a lot more fun than the tantrums.

If none of my efforts work, I give her hugs to try and calm her. If she doesn't want held and insists on continuing the tantrum I make sure there is nothing in her way and let her try to work it out on her own. Usually in a minute or two she will come to me for comfort. I praise her when she calms down and I also praise her when we have a pleasant experience (no tantrum or drama). We've been working on this for almost a year and it is getting much better but it has been a slow process. (My son also went through a similar phase that lasted just over one year.)

My daughter also bites when she is mad - she has given her brother a few good welts and bruises. When she goes to bite I put my hand under her lower jaw and tap her lips or cheek with my thumb and tell her she isn't allowed to bite. I don't do this forcefully and I do it to try to help her make a better connection about which behavior I am reprimanding her for (the biting usually goes hand-in-hand with fighting over a toy, screaming, etc).

Good luck to you. Try to be patient. Turn these "chores" into games. Offer a lot of praise for good behavior and be consistent about it.

Hi K.,
I have been going through the same thing with my son for the past two months since he turned one. I completely understand what you are going through. It gets very tiring after a day of drama! Hang in there I am hoping it is just another phase. Just try not to give in every time which you are most likely already doing.

L.

Hi K.. Well, Strong-willed little ones can be tough to handle. I have one myself and he's three now. I've discovered that the only way is to be very consistent. They need to know that we (the parents) are in charge, certain things need to be done at certain times, and thats the way it is. If you are not consistent with this, she will eventually win out and she'll be calling the shots. Biting is also a stage children go through, and you should definately not ignore this. It can become a big problem if it is not dealt with immediately. Many people will disagree with me, but when my son began to bite me, I bit him back (not hard enough to really hurt, but enough for him to see that it could) and he never tried to bite again. There are other ways to deal with biting, but that's what worked for me. Good Luck! P.S. I don't agree with Diane, spanking is an adults cop-out. It should only be a last resort, if that.

thank God for your questions. I actually just asked the same one (pretty much). Thanks to all of your advice, perhaps Miranda and I will be peaceful haha. She has starting to bite I think, she will lean into you with open mouth when angry but I don't think she quite gets it??? Not sure. Is the hand on the chin working for you?

K.,

have you tried getting involved in a structured class setting? Try something like JW Tumbles. Check them out at JWTumbles.com