Nakedness!

my dad always wandered around in his underpants and I never thought anything of it. If you make a big deal out of it, it's a big deal. If you dont, it's not.

People can do whatever they are comfortable with in their own homes, but your kids are possibly going to grow up more sexually healthy than hers. You're doing it right, don't worry about it.

In response to Bug B., below -- your kids will let you know when it's time to stop. I stopped a few years ago, at least in front of my boys. My 16 year old son barged into my room without knocking a couple of days ago, as I was exiting the shower, saw me naked and screamed "what the f***k!!" as he slammed the door closed. I think he just learned a lesson about knocking.

Nope, nothing wrong with you. My daughter is three and we are open about naked bodies as well.
It simply is a cultural/personal difference. I am from Western Europe, where nudity is generally more acceptable. You will commonly see nude or at least topless male and females (though mostly females) in ads and on TV. We have publics pools with co-ed saunas (nudity is NOT optional here, but required) and it is common for people to swim or sunbathe in the nude in public parks and at lakes (there is no law requiring that you keep on your clothes).
Every family is different, so don't feel bad about something that is simply a difference in personal comfort levels.
Good luck!

I think this is just fine, the way you do it. Actually, from my cultural perspective, i am worried about your friend's kids, and if they will be weirdos or unhappy or something. But i recognize the source of these thoughts is mostly my own cultural background, and not all common sense.

I was born and raised in Germany. At no time did anyone in our home, or in my school, or in our town act as if casual nakedness was a taboo, or a sexual offense. I am trying to say, when there is a reason to be naked (sauna, changing for sports, swimming in a lake), we would be naked in front of each other for the purpose of a specific activity, no matter what gender, age or shape. So, i have seen all kinds of people, strangers, friends, family naked. Old and wrinkled, skinny and fat, young and slender, scarred by war or whatever, stretch marks, stitches from cesarians the full reality. It had never occured to me before i went to the US as a 16 year old that there was anything strange about that. It would never have entered my mind that this could be seen as dangerous or indecent. It felt natural, casual, neutral. To this day i feel that way. I try to be tasteful and decent when i am naked around others, but i don't think about it much. Of course, in the US public i am never naked. Just in Europe.

Anyway, i think it was good for me to see real naked people, and not just all those supermodels in the media and advertising. I believe it is indecent to sell things by hidden sexual messages, or to objectify beauty. But just a naked body ready to jump into a clear mountain lake to cool off on a summer day? What's wrong with that pleasure?

In my family (with a US husband) we are naked with each other and think nothing much of it. If this comfort level continues, the casual nakedness will not end. But if kids in puberty will seem to need more privacy, we will adjust.

D.

You are fine! There is no need to feel ashamed of your body and that is what you are teaching your children. When they begin showing signs of puberty then you may wish to be a little more protective but right now they are young and I think it is very healthy to have a relaxed household in this regard.

We always used correct words about body parts verses some friends that just couldn't say them out loud. This is sort of in the same vein. Every household is different. We were like you.

Heck. I DO walk around my house naked. It's my house :)

Lots of families practice causal nudity. Lots don't. The ones that don't *tend* to get really upset by those that do. (Not always, but usually.)

Like Dagmar & Ina... my family is also heavily European (Scandanavian mostly). I've seen all the members of my family naked (esp during family holidays at the beach... 5 generations of people stripped and hosed off and then pile into showers. But also hiking, camping, skinny dipping, etc.). I was also raised in Japan where there are public baths. Often waterpark like, and often co-ed, but not always. One showers ahead of time and then goes in nude. ALL ages and conditions. From ancient and wrinkly and stooped halfway over (and the REVERENCE these elderly people were shown has permanently shaped my concept of beauty and respect) to scarred, preggers, middleaged, young, thin, fat... every aspect of the human condition.

Nudity doesn't equal sex, and beauty doesn't equal 16, although many people in this (my own) country seem to think it does.

You are doing just fine. Your friends girls may end up feeling shame about their bodies, yours will not.

I am more like you. My daughter turns 16 tomorrow. She is more modest now but still will come into the bathroom if I have showered or whatever and see me naked. I really don't care. Now, she no longer sees dad naked of course but when I hear of the "rules" your friend has I think of this....

Her children are not being taught to be ok with themselves, their bodies. Gees... look at the insecurities already in place for these children. Of course children need to know the differences between male, female and the privacy issues, however, if you make it so taboo, they are going to be screwed up mentally when they are older (Ex: not being comfy within ones self, considering nudity and sex dirty, not being capable of being intimate and knowing it is ok)

These kids are going to have gym class at some point with dress out. Think of how stressed they will be when they have to dress out at school. Same for an adult going to a gym, some of us just dress and doin out thing and others have to go the individual bathroom just to change clothes.

Nothing is wrong with how casual you are (or me). What is right for one family is not right for the other.

As a child.... My mom would just die if I accidently saw her naked. It is like she thought she was made of gold or something....it is not that big of a deal. She was sending messages that nudity was dirty and bad.

If it were'nt for my dear grandmother, I for sure would be in some looney barn right now.

I believe in open communication with my daughter and no topic off base. Wouldn't you rather be open with your children instead of making something taboo and then them go experiement on their own?

You hang in there, you are completely ok with what you are doing.

I never saw my parents naked and they never saw me naked once I reached a certain age. I turned out fine, with no problems. I don't think the body, is weird or gross. If there had been nudity, I think I would have been fine too.

I think you have to decide, where the line is. Very likely, your children will decide when they are uncomfortable with you seeing them naked. However, how long do you want them to see you naked? I mean once your boy hits puberty (or is about to) I have a hard time finding that appropriate. It's ultimately your decision.

No.

Absolutely NOTHING IS WRONG with how casual your family is
about your bodies in your home.

Especially since you have explained to your children
about what is appropriate (and safe) regarding
their p****** p**** in general.

In my opinion, something is definitely wrong
with your friend's family's behavior

In my opinion, the world would be a much safer, friendlier, human place
if more people were were like you and your family.

And our society is in the [messed]- up place it is in large part
because of the way her family handles nudity.

I feel very strongly about this.
I am reminded of a joke from (many many) years ago . . . .

If God had intended people to go naked,
we would have been born that way!

There's a lot more I could say
but I need to get ready to visit some extended family later today.
We will all be appropriately clothed.
There is a time and a place for everything.

I am pretty relaxed like you. My girls will come in the bathroom and talk to me while i am in the bath. As they got older though, they are becoming a little more private. I agree with the moms that say they will be comfortable with their bodies. I think the opposite sends the wrong message...eww gross, naked body, cover up. My husband is very private around the girls. I think he would be different if we had sons.

You are teaching them that not just anyone can see them naked...or that no one is allowed to touch them. As long as they know that, i think your/my/many others level of comfortable is normal :)

Personally I don't see anything wrong with the way you are handling things. It's really about comfort levels and what each person and each family feels comfortable with. In a way, it's probably a healthier way to be since hopefully your kids won't have all these hang-ups over their bodies and how they will function as adults. Plus, your kids are still pretty young, and eventually they all reach an age where they are not going to want to see you or each other naked, or let others see them naked (my stepson was 10 the first time he didn't want his mom to see him nude in the bathtub), and some degree of modesty will naturally set in. If they are reaching a point where it isn't, then you might have to say something to them. When my stepsons were 7 and 8 and were over for the weekend, they had no issues running around in their underpants and nothing else when they first woke up but it made me feel uncomfortable, so I had to say something to their dad and he had to say something to them - that they had to at least put on some pajama bottoms or sweat pants on over the underwear.

Our daughter is 3 and I have no issues with her seeing me in the shower or in the process of getting dressed - she needs to know that it is normal and natural and nothing to be ashamed of. My husband tends to cover up a lot more but I think it's more because of him being a man and she being a little girl and maybe if she were a boy it would be a different story.

In our house, i change in front of the kids all the time and my husband will not. I'm a stay at home mom with a 24 month-old and a 3 month old, so I have no choice but to leave the bathroom door open and change in front of them because they are too young to leave alone. My husband on the other hand, will NOT let anyone in the bathroom with him and is much more modest than I. He sleeps in boxers but his pants and shirt are the last things off at the end of the day and the first on at the beginning. I'm trying to get him to show our son how to use the potty like a big boy (he's still just sitting down on the toilet) but my hubby says he saw his dad naked once as a kid and has been traumatized by it haha

It really is just your personal comfort level and how you were raised. My family was quite hippy-ish growing up....5 kids, all 2 years apart, all breastfed and slept with our parents until the next baby came around-then we moved into one of our older siblings' beds. All of us bathed together or with our parents (im pretty sure mostly to save $$ on the water bill lol). 4 of us have small children now and we all bathe/breastfeed/co-sleep and my mother in law is completely baffled by it. My hubby's family would never dream of sleeping in the same bed as eachother, and would NEVER EVER be naked in front of each other. I even have to nurse my baby in the back room at their house even though i cover up completely. My husband is not a messed-up sexual deviant or prude, and neither am I. There's nothing wrong with your way or your friends way, its just a matter of personal preference and comfort level.

YOU are totally normal. Sounds like your friend needs to be little less rigid. We are pretty free around our house w/semi-nudity and full nakedness. However, our son who visits us every other wknd is very modest and always has the door shut when getting dressed etc. He is also 11 and I think becoming rather conscientious about his body. I still treat him as though it's not a "big deal" that I see him naked. I know it embarasses him if he sees me naked but he HAS seen me naked-sometimes by accident. I think it's less scary for people to open up who grow up around seeing others in their family naked. After all, we are individuals but if we are male or female pretty much look the same under all our clothes! I am much like you about how I've explained things. Interestingly enough, I had a friend who only had girls in their family and it was the same way in her house w/their dad never seeing them etc.-she was EXTREMELY modest but I loosened her up after awhile. We were roommates and both girls for heaven sake. Us Moms have seen our kids as "naked as a jay bird". So, what's the big deal? I mean, what happens in an emergency or when we get older and our kids have to take care of us or when they grow up and decide to have sex w/someone and get married? They can still be respectful of their bodies and others but having never seen things would shock them even more!

I grew up in a very strict Christian home. My siblings and Iwere always taught that it just wasn't proper to see each other naked since it is something that is to be shared with a husband & wife only. My hubby & I also have that same view with our 3 girls. The girls have never seen their dad naked. However, society's views and other religions/non-religious homes view everything differently. It's a 'to each his own' topic.

Your friend's kids are not allowed to be anything but fully clothed in front of their own FATHER??? I think your friend is the one with the issue...

There is nothing wrong with the way you (and I) handle the whole 'nakedness' issues in our houses.

I have 2 boys, ages 7 and 5 and a 2 yr old girl...they bathed together as well and are aware but not concerned/curious about how boys and girls have different parts...it is what and how it has always been, no biggie, it's a non- issue in our house!

There is NOTHING wrong with what you do in your house! I am super comfortable with my body and I want my kids to have a positive body image. So I don't have a problem walking around the house naked after the shower etc. I have even vaccumed naked--(lol). My kids are well-adjusted and just think nothing of it--normal body etc. My suspicion with your friend is that she isn't completely comfortable with her body so therefore she doesn't want her girls to be naked in the house either. Also, so weird to me that she doesn't want the girls naked around the dad. He's the daddy~ Whats the big deal??? She must not be comfortable with her body. Thats the only reason I can think of that would make sense. Anyways, thanks for posting--- take care.

M

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omg, Page's answer is so friggin hilarious :)
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Everyone is different. I think I started covering up in front of my boys when they were school age. I walked around in a bra and panties but no more nude mom after the age of 5. I figure they saw me in a bikini all the time so bra and panties were actually less revealing than many of my swimsuits while they were growing up.
Some people are just more modest. It's neither right nor wrong and there probably is no normal for what actually happens behind closed doors in most cases. I've had friends that go nude well into the kids being in their teens. Just depends on what youre comfortable with I guess. It all depends on how YOU were raised for the most part.

I am cracking up at Page's son!!

Anyway, good question. I wonder about this. My husband and I are very casual about being naked (bath, bedroom, sleep) and our 4 yo daughter prefers just to wear panties around the house, though she doesn't want other people to "see my naked" (though she will occasionally streak...hmmm). Her dad is an artist so we actually have a nude photo in our living room. So there's nothing remarkable about nudity. She drew a pic of us and her aunt and uncle a few days ago -- including squiggles to indicate the p****** p****! (Don't panic, she has never seen uncle and aunt undressed.) I suggested they should be wearing clothes so she had me draw the clothes on. I am trying to teach her what's "private" but not that anything is shameful.

My family is the same... tho my new husband is a bit shy, so we allow him to dress to his comfort level. My daughter is 5 y/o and she sees me naked all the time and vice versa. Nothing is wrong with nudity... it's the skanky/scantily dressed strangers we see everywhere that I teach my daughter to avoid and disparage. She sees a girl in a bikini and she'll go "EWWW!", but she nees a naked painting, picture or person and doesn't say anything.

We treat nakedness for basic things as nothing important. We change in front of each other, if we're in a hurry we'll throw the kids in the shower with us, they think nothing of barging into the bathroom while I'm showering to pester me for something, if we're out somewhere they come into bathroom stalls with me when we need to, I have had to ask the boys to grab toilet paper or tampons for me from the other bathroom in a pinch, both my boys were in the room and saw the birth of their sister, I've breast fed all 3 of them and never used blankets or covers. They know all the rules..what is considered their privates, what is and is not acceptible touching and showing. They know we are family so it's not a big deal but you would not do this with a stranger. They know who has what parts and what they're called and what they're for. My boys are almost 10 and just turned 7, my daughter is about to turn 19 months.
Your friend is taking an extreme we would never take around here.

nothing wrong with it yet. your son is getting to the age you need to change the rules. puberty is a doosy on boys. :) with the girls its no big deal no matter the age as far as I am concerned. it is more ok for a boy to see another boy naked than a girl cause of hormones. hormones dont kick in when they see another boy naked.just a normal male behavior. :) by 8 I would start not letting my son see me naked. at 6 i didnt hide from my oldest. but the girls have the same equipment as you and hormones wont kick in. :)

i am not going to lie, i hate wearing clothes! so my 4yo old son sees me naked ALL THE TIME! i just realized that a couple of months ago that i need to stop doing that! there needs to be some boundries between us! noone knows i do it but sometimes i feel its inapproiate for him to continue to see his mom in full glory like that. i know some people think its a SIN and i;m going to hell(espcially some of these prudes on here). but if you feel comfortable doing what you want to do in YOUR HOUSE then by all means do you. i'm kind of torn in between. but like they say it takes all kinds to make the world go round! lol good luck

We always walked around the house at night in our underware and t-shirt. My sisters and I will Share a dressing room so we can tell the other how the clothes look without having to leave the room. If we are some place that only has one bathroom and someone is taking a shower,I or one of my sister will be in the bathroom at the same time during their hair or makeup. I think nothing about it.

oh no your not doing anything wrong. i have a 3 year old daughter who is in panties 98% of the day! i try to keep her in clothes when we have guest and usually 10 mins after they leave shes back to panties. i however have started to now let her shower with my husband anymore but she still sees him naked time to time when she is in the bedroom and hes getting dressed. she sees me naked all the time and showers with me time to time. my only feelings is that you should bathe your son seprately now that he is older and the girls could bathe together. if he was the youngest one it would be different. either way do what your comfortable with.

My family sounds exactly like yours, and I think that is pretty normal, in the grand scheme. We don't flaunt our nudity, but we don't get all bent out of shape about it either. My son (almost 5) sees me naked on occasion, if he walks in while I'm bathing, or dressing, etc. and he prefers to be in his undies most of the time! And as long as we're at home, I'm ok with that.

It's fine... as long as you don't have a overly curious LO on your hands!