So my two year old has started screaming and crying when he wants ANYTING. And he wants it right now!!! No reasoning. No talking, no explaining just following me around screaming. And if I pick him up and nurse him or just pick him up he is fine most of the time. I don't want to continue this vicious spoiled cycle I have created but it is so freaking hard to see him like that. Do I just ignore him so he knows he can not act like this and get what he wants?
I just wanted to add that he is screaming right now because I took a marker away from him after I told him he was going to loose it if he got up from the table with the marker. going crazy
Pick him up and remove him bodily from the situation. Put up the baby gate and put him in his room. Quietly tell him "We don't scream. When you're ready to talk like a big boy, I'll come and get you."
Walk away and do NOT give in. It's hard to see him like that, but if you give in EVEN ONCE, you're taking many steps back in getting him through this stage.
Never give in!
My 2 year old tried the same thing. I did NOT let her get away with it for long! When ever she tries it, I pick her up, and put her in her room. I tell her that she can come out when she is done with her tantrum.
The first few times were pretty rough, but she got the idea pretty quick. I absolutely ignored her when she was in her room...
Of course, she still tries once in a while to push her limits. When she does, I will pick her up and put her in her room again, and she immediately stops. She knows that Mommy Means Business!
aw, he's not spoiled, he's just trying to figure out how to make his world work, and doing what you've taught him is best.
don't talk and reason and explain with a melting down 2 year old. and ignoring him will only make him more frantic. short simple words and short simple actions.
he's only 2.
'no screaming! use your words.' and go on about your business until he does.
i wouldn't lock him in his room or try time-out under these circumstances. he's only 2 and he won't understand. you're the grown-up. you've created the situation, it's up to to you to fix it, calmly and compassionately. i'd refuse to interact with him while he's screaming other than to lay a hand on his head from time to time to let him know you're tuned in, but don't pick him up or talk to him until he quiets. and don't ever comply with his demands just to shut him up. you're setting the stage for how this little person will handle frustration and desires for the rest of his life. think about that the next time you just want to survive the next 5 minutes.
khairete
S.
at 2 he is just learning about actions and consequences. I would if it was me each time he does the screaming thing say in a calm voice stop screaming or your going to your room. and then calmly pick up and put him there. it won't take many times of that happening to get it. put him in and shut the door.
side note 2 is way to young for markers lol. unless you have him trapped in a highchair which is the only place I allowed playdough, markers or crayons at that age.
Hi, C.:
When you took the marker away from him, did you give him a choice to give it up?
You give him choices for everything.
You tell him: You have a choice, you can have the marker if you sit at the table, or if you get up from the table, the marker stays on the table, it's your choice.
In all situations you give him a choice.
You are teaching him to think and make the correct decisions.
The problem is: You have to make sure you have his attention.
When he acts out with his temper tantrums, you give him a choice. If you keep crying and screaming, I am going to put you in your room until you can
tell me why you are crying and screaming. You have a choice, stop crying or I will put you in your bed.
You might have to swat him on his hiny to make him stay in his bed.
Once he learns you mean business then he will pick the right choice.
Good luck.
D.
Read the first four responders. They all have the right idea.
If you don't control the situation now, it will be 100 times worse when he is a teenager.
I did what they did about putting him in his room, but I also swat their bottom if they totally lost control. Putting them in their room causes discomfort and they react to it. Swatting their bottom also causes discomfort and they will react to it quicker.
Good luck to you and yours.
Ditto the advice about putting him in his room and telling him he can come out when he can talk calmly, ignoring his screaming and crying requests, and not giving in, ever! It's hard, but worth it, especially in the teen years when you've set the precedent.
I think do your best to ignore him - maybe leave the room. Reasoning with him is a waste of time, and probably time outs will end up as a battle of wills.
His tantrums will become easier in the next couple of years - my son is now 4 and he used to do the same thing. He still is strong willed, but he has more social skills and language skills to use/ more tools to help him get what he wants.
