My Son Is a Picky Dresser - What to Do?

I would make the too-small pants disappear and let him wear pants with elastic waists like sweats and track pants for now. He can have a choice amongst those pants but don't let him have access to anything that will not be acceptable to you. That way he has some say in what he is wearing and no matter what it is still a choice you can live with. If he starts flipping out about the pants, tell him he can just stay home if he won't get dressed (unless that backfires because he really would rather stay home!). Get him into the car in his undies and drive him to school if he fights putting on the pants. Take the pants with you when and if he changes his mind and decides wearing pants is a good idea.

What about overalls?

Wow. Deja Vu. I finally let her wear the short pants without arguing. I saw plenty of kids in pants that were too short. When I mentioned it to the teacher, she said it was common and my girl would grow a butt someday like her daughter did. :0) Good luck

I think you guys need to do a little shopping to find some stuff that does fit. My great nephew is going to be 5 and he is sooooo tiny on the bottom, I know exactly what you mean--the 3Ts fit at the waist but are short. Al others really DO fall down & he spends his day hiking them up, etc.
As for what the pre-school teachers think...just wanted to sa that this is not the first time they've seen a kid with clothing/size/fit issues. There are kids out there that want to wear the same two pairs of sweatpants every single day! I wouldn't worry at all about that aspect of it. Good luck!

Do a search online for elastic pants. Honestly, if I had pants that were uncomfortable at the waist and kept falling down, I wouldn't want to wear them either. I did a quick search and it looks like Gap, Target (Cherokee brand) and Lands End have elastic pants. Don't know what sizes, but maybe that'll help.

Explain to the teachers that this is all he will wear, and let him wear what he wants. He's 5, what difference does it make? There are bigger battles ahead that are more important than this one. You might find that when it's no longer a battle, he will change his mind. It happens ;-)

My daughter hates jeans (so do I, they are not comfortable) and wears elastic waist cotton pants every day.

i have an idea....you know that shelf at the top of closets??? put ALL his clothes in a plastic box that you can fit at the top of the closet....get the pants YOU want him to wear in reach for him and keep the rest out of reach/sight.....and keep it like that until he quits "sneaking"...or just throw away the pants that are dont fit, and quit buying him his favorit elasitc pants. then maybe make a "bribe" with him, that as long as he will wear what you tell him to wear, and not sneak to change then you guys can work something out

key: take away his choices of clothes/freedom

I am with you- I too liked the idea of giving my children choices about what they wear- it also backfired with me. I agree with the mom's who said put away all that you don't want him wearing. My daughter also throws huge fits about clothes and doesn't want to dress apropriately- she is 4. I have put away all that doesn't fit and since we are in TX like you are and still have plenty of warm (hot!) days in the fall- the shorts are in my room on a high shelf and I will only retreive them if the day is warm enough. Her appropriate clothes are paired in outfits in cubbies in her room- so she still has choices. This has not made the fits go away but it's helped. She also knows that if she has a fit in the morning about getting dressed then she will loose something- like her evening epsisode of Little Bear. I have also learned to stop negotiating/arguing with her. Sometimes when she start to throw a fit- I say- "I'm going to set the timer for 5 minutes and if you don't have at least one item of clothes on by the timer you will loose show tonight" and then walk away. After that I will respond to her only one more time with a reminder that the timer is set and I would hate for her to loose show and then ignore the screaming. I also praise her when we have fit free mornings. Good luck!

"disapearing" is a mom's greatest ally in the ever changing kid's battle for control.
Take the 3Ts and disapear them while he is sleeping, etc and while you are at it, cut the tags out of the other jeans/pants.
My kids have relative control on what they wear, too. I just tell them it has to fit and not be stained/dirty. I also let them choose the clothes we buy for Back to school, etc.
I do understand the morning fight and I have found that after a week or two and they don't get what they want because said item is no longer around - they do comply. This, too, shall pass - LOL!
Good luck!

I understand what you mean about skinny. My oldest now 11 was in size 4's in 3rd grade that is shorts. But pants they where too short. I think it's great that you let them think for themselves but sometimes you got to put your foot down. I let my youngest 8 somewhat pick out his cloth and my oldest I tell him as along as he does not look like a ragamuffin he can pick his cloth. Get rid of them while he is gone. For now try and find some wind pants or something that might appease him till you can find jeans. And if you think he will get into the shorts if you take the pants away put those up too!

Good luck and God bless!

My grandson is a long-legged, skinny 5yo, too. His mom finds elastic-waist pants in his size (Old Navy, I think). He HATES non-elastic waists that he has to hike up all the time, and I sure don't blame him.

Comfort, utility, protection against the elements, and modesty are really the most important qualities in clothing. Beyond that, fashion is a matter of taste and not even important to many kids. When I look at the clothing choices of many of the children of my acquaintances, I am charmed by all the ill-fitting, old, wildly mismatched, and obviously loved outfits they wear – even portions of old dress-up costumes, like half-shredded tutus in a little girl I know. All the way through grade school, for many of them.

Lots of kids, additionally, have sensory-integration issues to some degree; seams or textures or tags really bug and distract them. I've always been like that, and can scarcely endure anything rough, especially around my neck. I've been known to wear jammies, shirts and socks inside out to escape the seams.

As far as setting this up as an inevitable battle, how about backing away from that for a month and checking out the compassionate and mutually-respectful techniques employed in How to Talk So Kids Will Listen, and Listen So Kids Will Talk, by Faber and Mazlish. Your son(s) can be a working part of just about any solution you may need in coming years. These authors show you how to do that in ways that will meet both your needs and your sons, with less stress. This is a lovely book – I use it with my grandson all the time, and we work through inevitable behavioral problems creatively and effectively.

I've seen some comments on the Land's End facebook page from parent's commenting on how much they like their "slim" and elastic waistband pants. You may want to try to look there for his size.

Good luck!
L.

My son is 8 and we still struggle a little with pants. He doesn't like button and zip pants because he has a hard time undoing them and this has caused him to have a couple of accidents. Unfortunately for him, all the jeans in his size now are button/zip. He can wear a size 8, but they are getting a little short on him, so I got him a bunch of size 10 recently and he loves them because he can just pull them up over his skinny butt without having to mess with the button/zipper!!
I would get rid of all of the pants that are too small (unless you want to save them for Spring for shorts :). I think the track/running pants might be a good option and then phase jeans back in later?

I waited too long to go through my 5 year olds wardrobe and he would find the pair of pants or long sleeved shirt that was just a little too short in the legs or sleeves every single time. Then there would be a fight getting him to get changed.
I literally went through his closet one day and got rid of all the clothes that no longer fit him. It actually didn't bother him one bit.
Now everything fits and he can choose whatever he wants out of the clothes that he has.

instead of a dresser or closet full of clothes to choose from, give him 2 options - "you can wear brown pants or blue pants" Also, for school it is okay for him wear sweat pants which are elastic waisted also, some 4T pants are elastic waisted. Good luck. And I totally understanding not wanting a daily battle on what your kiddo wears to school when all he's going to do is roll around on the floor and get dirty.

My son is 5 and is EXTREMELY skinny also. He also refuses to wear jeans or any pants with a button, snap or tie. They have to be elastic waist. I found the pants at Old Navy to be too large around the waist. I did find sweat pants (they look like track pants or sporty pants) and fleece pants at Target that fit him great. He likes to roll down the waist once which makes it even tighter. You can try these out! I'd take your son there and have him try them on. Then I'd make all those size 3 pants disappear! I know that some brands have "slim" sized pants as well....like LL Bean but I have not tried these.

Maybe take him and let him pick out some "sporty" wind suits? My 5 year old wants to wear a dress EVERY day.

I feel your pain.

I totally understand as I have a son with the same build and he cannot stand for his clothes to fit loose. So, we began laying out his clothes the night before - we make a stick man on the floor with his clothes (which makes it kinda fun for him) and then the fighting, if there is any, begins that night rather than the next morning. Honestly, you'll just have to be consistent and don't give in. Stay calm and have the attitude of "we can't make a decision if you are screaming and/or throwing a fit so come talk to me when you can settle down" then walk away. Once he understands that his drama won't change your mind he'll stop trying so hard. Good Luck!!
I also wanted to add that we purchased a magnetic "responsibility chart" that allows you to decid the responsibilities and they get a smily face for each "completed" responsibility. We put "getting dressed" on there and if he can get dressed without any problems he gets the smily face. It really encouraged him to try harder and I could use it as a negotiation tool - "if you don't straighten up you won't get your smily face" . . . he was very motivated by the smily face (we made a very big deal out of how many smily faces he could get in a week) and I didn't even have to use other things like stickers, candy, etc but you can if the smily face isn't enough. Again, Good Luck!!

I think the advice you've been given is great. I would add you might want to read "Love & Logic" by Dr Cline & Fay. It's a great read with lots of helpful tips in parenting.

Blessings!
L.

Oh, you have the Mini-Me version of my 14 year old!!!!

He is longer than he is round and I have always had to put him in pants one size too big in the waist in order to have them long enough. He also has a problem realizing that his favourite clothes are too short. So this year I went through his closet while he was at school, boxed everything that did not fit and took it straight to the Goodwill before he got home. Poor boy, got home to a closet that was basically empty. But, since he was not going to go to school naked he learned to wear what was there.

The only other option I can think of is to give him a time limit to get dressed - set an egg timer - and if he is not ready when it is time to leave the house pick him up, put him in the car and drive to school. Yes, have clothing already in the car for him.

I did this to mine when he was in 1st grade - He wound up in the car without shoes and socks and panicked until I handed them to him. But, he did learn to get dressed on time.

Or cut all the tags out so he can't tell what size they are and tell him the are all size 3T.

Good Luck - I know how frustrating mornings can be.

Get rid of the small pants today. And tonight, if you can, take him out just the 2 of you for some new pants that fit. Go to target-they offer slims and are really cheap. Or Old Navy. Mae it all about him and he will hopefully be so excited that he will forget his problem with small pants.

Also-what about wind pants? My boys seldom ever wear jeans because they find them uncomfortable. They are all about their 'sport' pants. You could take them in at the waist if they don't fit.

Go shopping and let him try things on and say we are looking for special magic pants or something that will make him excited. Let him pick the pants, but only show him ones you like. And yes get rid of the small pants and say they ran away to a kid who needed help getting dressed, and it might dampen the fits. Good luck!!

Yep, my 5 year old is built the same way (average height and weighs all of 38 lbs!). Fortunately, he doesn't mind the adjustable waist so that saves us. I think you're right in having all small pants just disappear. Then the only option available are pants that actually fit him. And if you do it today you have all weekend for him to get over it and maybe by Monday he'll throw on pants that fit even if he doesn't like it. As far as what pants he might find most comfortable.... I don't know. The adjustable waist is a life saver for us because my son also freaks out if the pants slide down; what is it he doesn't like? Is it the strap hanging out? Cause maybe you could trim that or pin/sew/tuck it to the side. I've heard that starting around size 5T you can find slim fit pants in certain department stores. I've not tried them yet so don't know if they would be slim enough. Also, maybe find someone who is a good seamstress or find a cheap tailor who will agree to take the waist in on all his pants for a cheap price. That would be a hassle, but if helped you avoid the battle might be worth it.