My daughter doesn't know many words but recently started saying $h!t. She heard my neighbor say it last week and won't stop saying the dang word. Any advice?
Thanks
Redirect. Give her a new word to love. Kitty! Doggy! Cow!
What's really fun is telling her the kitty is a cow. Or "the kitty says 'MOO!'" and then letting her work through that. "No mommy! Kitty says MEOW!" And then you grin and say "Moo, kitty!"
Give the cuss word less power to be interesting.
Typical. She's getting a reaction from you or others so she thinks she's pleasing you. Ignore it. Don't respond. I'd also ask how she's using it - does she say it when she drops something or is told "no"? Just figure out a new word to give her. My friend's kids used "BUMMER!" (which they taught her when she was swearing) and my stepdaughter used "Rat sticks!" Pick a word you want her to use (ideally one she can pronounce easily, then be sure to say it a few times yourself to teach her how and when to say it (stubbing your toe, forgetting something, whatever).
If she says a swear, you can correct her by saying, "You mean BUMMER! Oh bummer bummer bummer." If she says "What is this $hit we're having for dinner" (Which I realize is a bigger sentence than what you're talking about), just rephrase in your answer: "This stuff we are having is mac and cheese". Give her the words she needs without making a big deal out of the wrong word. I think, at this age, it's way more effective than explaining how it's not nice or not allowed.
When my kid started using choice words (that she learned from me), I simply taught her when and where it was ok to use them and when and where they would get her in trouble. I insisted that she learn what they actually meant, and use them correctly. It took a lot of the fun out of it for her. It also made her think about what she was saying and decide if profanity was really the best way to express herself. Sometimes it was, and if she let fly with an f-bomb at home, it wasn't really a big deal.
Don't react strongly when she says it. In fact, try not to give her any attention at all when that comes out. But DO give her lots of positive attention for other words and good behavior. That's generally a far more positive way to teach, especially because some children crave attention so much, they'll even misbehave to get some.
Lol!
Ignore, ignore, ignore then....ignore some more!
(Try to get it on video!)
I honestly told my daughter what all the words were, what they truly meant and what they mean now, then I told her that they were ugly, nasty and very very impolite words and that she was not to say them. I told her that she was too beautiful and smart to use such rude words. I also warned her that if she did say any of them and I heard her she would have to lick a bar of soap for ever letter of the word.
She now just get's time out, it took only one 4 letter word for her to realize I was serious.
She's even called me on a few slip ups, granted the most recent incidents were when her baby brother "leaked" all over me and the other when I slashed my arm on an exacto knife, that required 2 stitches.
We changed our words when our kids started repeating the bad words that would come from our mouths sometimes. Instead of sh!t, we would say "jiminey the crickets". Instead of "move a$$hole" we would say "move dope-a-saurus". Things like that. Not that name calling is okay, but in my defense I learned to drive in Boston :).
I also tell my kids that using curse words shows a certain level of decrease in intelligence. Sorry, but if you aren't smart enough to find another word to use, you must not know enough words. Curse words are never necessary. I did drop a few yesterday when I was MAD, but my kids rarely hear me curse and both of my boys sat stunned. I apologized, and made no excuse for my words. I made a mistake.
People make mistakes, kids say things they shouldn't just like adults, but tell your daughter WHY that word isn't good to use and she will stop. I don't think a punishment really works because then it gets attention.
Kids are so extremely intelligent that if you treat bad words like any other thing they're not allowed to do, 1) explanation of offense: "___" is a bad word. It's not allowed. Do not say it again or there will be a consequence. 2) You follow through with consequence when she does it again.
You don't get mad or anything, just mean it. I had three non-swearing toddlers this way. They tried each bad word only once because they were used to warnings being serious.
Now at 8, 6 an 5 it's a little harder to get them to knock off the potty talk though :) But if I get serious they know it and curb it in appropriate situations.
There shouldn't really be any behaviors at such an early age that you "just can't make her stop". The book Back to Basics Discipline by Janet Campbell Matson will calmly and lovingly nip nightmare habits before they start. I'm talking 2 1/2-ish here, not like one year old. If she's one then wait 'til she's over 2 to discipline certain words.
She's using it because of all the words she can say, this one triggers a great big exciting alarm reaction. And there's nothing more thrilling to a toddler than getting grownups to react.
Ignore it. Act thrilled and excited about other words. It'll pass.
Another strategy is to try to make the word into something else. "Oh, Schmidt!" "Oh, spit!" Something like that. I think flat-out ignoring it honestly works better, but some people like that one.
P.S. For reasons I forget, I came out with "poo-poo of the bull" when my son was about a year old. Instant repeat. Husband and I cracked up. New favorite phrase. We started ignoring it, and within a week it had passed.
How old is she? If she is old enough to understand then explain that is an adult word and adult words have a time and place they are okay, and for a child her age that is not often. If she is too young then just say tell her we don't say that word. I personally always ignored it for the most part, they are just words and they only have the power we give them, but I have had to crack down on my 10 year old about everything having a time and a place, and how some things can be offensive to others (like GD for example).
If you've already told her that it's a word that adults use and children shouldn't use, and she's not allowed to use, ignore it. Ignore ignore ignore. The more reaction you give the worse it will get.
