Multiple Personalities & Games People Play

Kids aren't qualified to diagnosis Dissociative Identity Disorder (multiple personalities) and neither are adults. What's going on here is bullying and most schools have an anti-bullying policy. Let the principal know what you heard, then let it go.

Mood swings are a reality for many people but talking about someone as if one is an authority on mental illness in general or this child's mental illness in particular (if there is such a thing) is just gossip among the kids, and it needs to stop.

And by the way, the book "Sybil" has been debunked once the therapist admitted that she made it up.

It's a bullying situation - report it.
I doubt very much the trouble maker even knows what a split personality is.
She's just being mean and using gossip to ostracize someone.
It's totally irrelevant whether the victim girl in question has a mental problem or not.
The trouble maker is creating a hostile environment and it affects everyone at school - even those who witness it.
It would be worth it for the school to do a general anti-bully campaign to nip this sort of thing in the bud before it escalates.

Hi Cheryl,
This is my "professional" response: Multiple Personality Disorder (MPD) is almost non-existent in the "real world."

More than 17 years ago, during my clinical in psychosocial dysfunction, the experts were already saying it was being over- and mis- diagnosed in sort of a rampant way after movies and talk shows kind of "popularized" it as a diagnosis (kind of like, for a while, everyone who had "dementia" was diagnosed with Alzheimer's, when there are over 150 types of dementia out there!)

This is bullying, pure and simple.
t

E-mail the principal and tell him what you witnessed. Find out both kids names from your son and state the facts. Nothing more than that.

As to when multiple personalities come out? I don't know. I've worked with some guys who kinda lost it over in Afghanistan but not multiple personalities. As to bi-polar? probably early childhood. From what I know about it (which is very little) it's a chemical imbalance in the brain from birth.

Now the girl that's doing the gossiping? Don't approach her or her mom. That only gives them more "power". She will find out in the end how it will destroy her carefully constructed world. The truth always comes out in the end. And those that she considered friends will see her true colors when they hear or see her saying something about them. it will come back to bite her in the rear.

It seems very unlikely to me that the the girl has any mental disorders. It seems far more likely that the little girl who "warned" people about her is a typical, bratty sixth grade queen bee who goes around trying to stir up drama and hurt people's feelings.
There is at least one in every class. Something happens to girls at that age that is sad and disturbing. So many people say that's just how kids are but now having a 13 and 9 year old myself I think by accepting that behavior we are condoning it. My kids aren't like that nor are the many other kids who are raised with accountability, taught to respect people and have empathy.
The drama queens are a different breed and honestly every single one that has touched our lives has parents who defend their poor behavior and help to create a little monster.
I would pay close attention to what's going on during your volunteer time and also from what you son says. The fact that the girl is saying something so damaging about the other little girl, something that could follow her for years is a very important point. Even if there is any truth to it (maybe especially if there is) she could really hurt this child by spreading rumors. Get involved if it seems like a real case of bullying.

I think that since you were a volunteer in the classroom and you saw bullying that you should say something to the teacher and Dr. M. Probably in writing so there is record of you reporting this girl.
I would venture to say that in school when someone says that so and so has multiple personalities that it means that they can be mean one minute and nice the next. That doesn't mean that I don't think that mental illness can't show up in young kids. I KNOW it can. But, I think it's pretty rare. I have a girlfriend who has twin boys. When they were three her son kept asking her "Why do the people in my head tell me I should die?" So, I know it's possible, but I have a feeling that this sounds more like bullying.
L.

i, personally, would step in and talk w the principal. A school is supposed to be a safe place. If you saw this child's face and reaction you can answer this question. Did she look like she felt she was in a safe place? Girls are by far the worst bullies. There are books out about it. I stepped in and wrote a long note to one of our principals when my daughter was in 2nd grade and told him his school was not a safe place for kids. He took it upon himself to walk into every single classroom and talk to the kids about bullying every day for several weeks. And most of it ended. i hope you find an answer you are comfortable with.

Absolutely talk with the principal about it... Not only is it the right thing to do... But in the popularizing of escaping bullying via suicide (because that's what you witnessed, a small part of an aggressive campaign against one girl) if she DOES get pushed over the edge you'll hate yourself.

Imagine finding out months later the same things were said about your son. And another parent knew, but did nothing. Or more probably MANY parents knew via conversations like you had with your son... But all pulled a Kitty Genovese (dispersed responsibility... The more people know of something terrible happening the LESS likely ANYONE will do anything about it. Everyone assumes that a: someone already has, or b: someone else is better suited/has more right to). Case in point... If you had witnessed the same thing when there was no 'higher authority' around (like the principal) knowing you... You would have waded in and started sorting things out. But since there is someone with more 'right' you held your tongue.

Doesn't matter if the charge is true in bullying. Yelling at a kid with Downs that they're retarded, or whispering fatty fatty fatty to a fat kid is still harassment that is unacceptable... And when it's gone school wide... It's gone from harassment to true bullying.

You offered to go with her, but since she turned you down, it's now up to you to do the right thing.

Just wanted to address your mental illnesses questions. Multiple personality disorder has been changed to being called Dissassociative Identity Disorder (DID). It is rarely diagnosed and there is still a pretty big controversy in the field as to whether it is even a real diagnosis. The chances of a sixth grade girl having it are slim to none.

In regard to other mental illnesses, children certainly can and do have mental illnesses.

Unfortunately, this behavior is completely normal sixth grade behavior. It's hurtful and mean, but normal. This is the period of time when abstract thought first begins to occur in the brain. It is partly to blame for all of the insane behavior we see in kids at this age. Hope this helped some.

"The child psychologist who thought she had all the answers to parenting until she became one herself." www.themommypsychologist.com

True MPD is very very rare. There are very few cases of it documented in history.

I saw a special on tv about a young girl (About 7-10) with schizophrenia. That is very rare--but possible.

I think in the case of your SIL, it probably wasn't that people didn't "believe" it was a "real" disorder, it's probably a case of more information & more easily diagnosed now.

What you described isn't a case of mental disorder! It's a case of pre-teen or teen nastiness and cattiness and cliquishness common in elementary or middle school! I wouldn't waste my effort with an email to the principal. The girl was snotty. You can't "legislate" snottiness in school. You did enough by telling the girl you were there to help. If she feels "bullied" I'm sure she knows to go to the guidance counselor or her parents right?

Hopefully your son will continue to stand up for kids that are being bullied and if you can keep your finger on the "pulse" of the situation through him, he would know when further action is needed.

Ah....school nastiness....ain't it grand?

My bi-polar was present in childhood, but it was misdiagnosed as just depression for 30 years. Actually 23 years, no one noticed what was up until I was 15. By then I had become very self destructive, and that got their attention. That diagnosis was recently broken down into three or more types of BPD, I have Type 2. The drugs are very different, so is treatment.
Each mental illness is different. Certain ones we are born with, others develop due to a combination of genetics and circumstance, and still others are not organic, necessarily, but purely situational.

All middle schoolers have multiple personalities! In fact, while subbing I once asked a 7th grade teacher why she liked teaching middle school. She said, "Each kid is a different kid every day. It's interesting and challenging, I'm never bored!"

Sure, mention it to the principal. But you have some power here, in your place I would have done the opposite and questioned the mean girl right there about it, and let the victim go on her way. "My goodness that's a harsh thing to say. What on Earth would you need to warn anyone about concerning Jane?"

I think I'd send an anonymous letter to the principal/guidance counselor... teens are weird, so it's hard to say. Having another set of eyes on the situation is helpful though.
Teenager drama requires patience and perseverance. Don't jump the gun but do watch and see if true bullying is going on. Keep up the convo's with your child in order to stay "in touch".

I would tell the principal - you were there and parents need to be a part of what's happening in the schools. The kids say they will handle it because they don't think adults get it and for them its just part of their life. Children become more separate from parents at this age and especially in our culture. This girl has no idea what she is doing. Unfortunately teachers often ignore this behaviour and I've seen it even in pre school and Kinder. It's like an epidemic that no one is seeing. I would inform the school and let it go in prayer, praying for the girl to have real love in her life from caring parents. Kids that do this stuff are empty and it started long before her age, thanks to her environment. I wouldn't say anything to your son, he is a child, this is your choice. How is he handling it, how is he actually equipped to handle it.
Multiple personalities can show up early but they usually are not really seen or dignoised till a person is in their 30s. It's highly unusal to be seen as full blown multiple personalities till then. And there are 4 different types. I've personally known three people in my life with this illness and have studied it but of course I'm not a doc and the understanding on this is changing all the time. They still know very little about it. Some scientists even think it's a virus contracted during pregnancy. There are all kinds of theories.

ask the principal does he like his job, be sure to bring a news crew with you when you confront the principal with this question .kids spreading rumors about other kids is calling bullying and children have killed themselves because of of RUMORS, dont let this little monster, whatever her problem might be, get away with this. CONFRONT HER YOURSELF, best way to get results is ask the brats parents CAN YOU AFFORD TO BE SUED ???talk to the other parents and see how how other kids this brat has been gossiping about, then EVERYONE go and confront the brats PARENTS,you will see an INSTANT change in this brats behavior, dont wait until somebodys child hangs themselves because this kid bullied them to death
K. h.

I think they are in the 6th grade, and this is what kids do, she is probably just a mean little brat, and i highly doubt the girl does have any type of mental illness. this is something that she will need to talk to her parents about. its mean, but not everybody is nice, we have to deal with these people, as kids and as adults. she can tell the principal, but I dont think it will do her any good, she will be percieved as a tattle tale or a snitch...

Hi, Cheryl:
Yes, you need to talk to the principal.
It is a school problem.

You can go to the web and print out this information and give to the principal:

SaferSanerSchools Whole-School Change through
Restorative Practices

www.safersanerschools.org

Good luck
Thanks for Caring
D.