Moms in Tulsa, Ok I Need Advice on a 14Yr Old Boy

M.,
I used to work in Home for troubled boys and let me tell you, you need to take immediate, serious action. Your son is going through something or he would not be acting out illegally. I would suggest you call the Tulsa Juvenile Bureau or Youth Services of Tulsa and get recommendations for a counselor for him to talk to. I am sure being a single mother of teen and younger boys is very difficult but I recommend professional help quickly before he moves on to other things. Good Luck!

Maybe it's time to get tough and tell him the next time he takes your car, you'll call the cops. If you don't want to do that, try to get him to talk to a counselor and see if they might be able to figure out what is going on and how to help him. Sorry for the situation you are in and I hope it gets better soon!

** I would just like to add, my 15 year old sister was in a store in Memphis last month when an SUV crashed through the store and pinned her underneath it. She was seriously injured. This driver of the SUV took his wife's car without her knowledge. He was also an excluded driver on her insurance policy. He KNEW he shouldn't have been driving and he almost killed my sister. Your son could very well be heading toward that same situation. Please find a way to get him help soon!

{{{M.}}}

I got chill bumps reading your post...I have 4 boys ages 9,10,11,12. My oldest started middle school this year I know all about the hard headed thing.

When is your son stealing the car? If it is at night I would make him either sleep in the bed with you or bring a cot in your room (a palet is too easy to sneak off of) Make sure you set your room up so you'll be able to hear him trying to sneak out. If it's during the day all I can say is hide your keys.

I would also tell him that you will call the police the next time he does it. (& do it) You might want to call the police in advance & tell them what you are doing so you know what to expect....

I will keep you in my thoughts & prayers,
J.

If he brought the car back wrecked, HE HIT SOMETHING OR SOMEONE! I would suggest Family and Children Services for counseling. They can give family counseling and individual counseling and I believe it is on finicial sliding scale (depending on how much you make.) They will help you set up a plan for that type of behavior and how to stick to it. They will help him learn how to make better choices.

Hi M.,

I have a 15 year old son who lies and steals...not the car...but steals non the less. It must come with the territory of having a teenage son. (I didn't grow up with brothers so I'm only going on my husbands experiences here) What I would do if my son did steal the car is call the police and scare him. I'd make sure the police knew I didn't want to press charges just scare the dickens out of my son so he wouldn't do it before.

I'd also google and find a website that shows pictures of cars driven by inexperienced kids and talk about the consequenses of driving without lessons.

Good luck...and keep us informed on what happens.

W. Q

Dear M., the strong advice that came from Kelly P , you should really take . I know from personal experience what you're going through & i had to & still are doing the same thing with my 15 1/2 yr. old son. He has even been suicidel a few times until i got him serious counciling & treatment through family children service & through his school. what ever is causing your son's problem , through that kind of help you should no doubt get to the bottom of it. i know strongly what it is like trying raise kids single handed let alone that many boys . i truly wish you the very best . My prayers go out to you & your children.