Mommy vs Momma

Updated on September 04, 2012
K.C. asks from Mc Lean, VA
24 answers

Ok .... So the other day, I was reading some of the responses to the "what words do you hate" question. Some of them were really funny; I enjoyed reading all of them. One though, caught my attention and I've been thinking about it all week. Curious why someone would object to "Momma". I'm a "Momma", not "Mommy", because I made a promise to LO's birth mother that she would be Mommy (we're adopting through foster care and, at the time, I was honoring her and her place in his life) and I would be Momma. If he changes it to Mommy on his own (once he's talking ... A long story), then whatever (we're in the final stages of the adoption process now). But LOs say Momma long before they say Mommy ... Even if it's just in babbling. Maybe it's a culture / southern thing, but I hear Momma a fair bit. So, thoughts? Thanks all!

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So What Happened?

@ Jo w - I know I'm inconsistent, but I usually use LO, because it's adoption through foster care and I'm trying to limit identifying info. Then my other side of the brain kicks in and I forget the other pronouns and it's just all over the place. One day, when all is said and done, I'll get it straight and be consistent ... Maybe ... ;+}

@2girlsallmine - been there, done that. Completely agree with you.

Thanks ladies! Just trying to understand the rationale. We're all doing the best we can ...

Featured Answers

N.G.

answers from Dallas on

My kids both call me all variations of "Mom". Mom, Momma, Mommy, Ma, Mother... and I love every single one. I've earned that title, and they all mean love to me.

4 moms found this helpful
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C.P.

answers from Los Angeles on

I can answer this one! I have twins, both girls. One calls me Momma, the other one calls me Mom-o. They came up with that all on their own. Whatever they call you, it is not nearly as important as the fact that they call for you, right?

3 moms found this helpful
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J.F.

answers from Tallahassee on

Most of the time my 6 year old calls me Mommy. Occasionally she will call me Mama or Mom. It doesn't matter to me. I answer to all three names. :) It did sound really weird the first time she called me Mom though.

2 moms found this helpful

More Answers

B.C.

answers from Dallas on

Why would anyone hate Momma? Never heard a mom say, "Oh, I just can't stand when he calls me Momma". Nothing I would EVER worry about, even in an adoption role. You are his/her Mommy/Momma/Mother/etc. Whatever your child calls you is what you are!

6 moms found this helpful

V.W.

answers from Jacksonville on

I am not too hung up on whatever they call me. I always referred to my own mother as "Mama" growing up, and still do when I talk TO her (or "Nana" as that is what she is to our kids), just like my father is "Daddy" (or "Papa").

I think kids call us whatever they are "taught" to call us. My daughter (11) uses both "Mama" and "Mommy". My son (14) has always called me "Mama". And my husband usually says "ask your Mother", lol.
FWIW, he is "Daddy". But when the kids talk with other kids ABOUT us in the 3rd person, they usually refer to us as "mom" and "dad". To me, that is just a function of our NAMES being "Mama" (or "Mommy") and "Daddy" and our TITLES being mom or dad (hence the capital letters or lack thereof).

Interestingly (for Sara G, below), my husband's cousins do call their mother "Ma". Always have. And it isn't with any humor intended or anything. They just refer to her has "Ma". They are the ONLY people I know who use this term regularly.

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M.L.

answers from Colorado Springs on

Growing up, I called my mother "Mommy" and "Mom," because that's what the kids in my neighborhood said. I had the impression that "Mama" was a Southern thing. It certainly wasn't an upstate-New York thing! But there's nothing wrong with it. In fact, one of my grown daughters has started calling me "Mama," because she likes it, and that's fine with me. "Ma" and "Pa" always sounded "country" to me. But again, that doesn't mean there's something wrong with it. In fact, I have a high respect for Laura Ingalls Wilder's ma and pa! It just not what I grew up with. "Mother" is apparently too old-fashioned these days, but I hope it will make a comeback. Keep your promise, and don't worry about how it sounds to anyone else. It's who's saying it that counts!

3 moms found this helpful

X.O.

answers from Chicago on

My kids have called me "Mama" since they were babies. They never call me "Mommy" or "Mom." I'm not going to change what they want to call me, as long as isn't not disrespectful :)

I called my mom "Mom," and still do. My 35 yr old husband still calls his mother "Mama," because that is what they do in their culture forever.

2 moms found this helpful

S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

i never called my mother anything but mom or mommy. i called my SM by her first name for years, but then reverted to 'mumsie' and she's been that ever since. my boys call me all sorts of variations and i love them all. it's usually 'mom' but sometimes it's 'mum' and often it's 'mizzle.'
they're all music to my ears.
:) khairete
S.

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C.P.

answers from Chicago on

My sister (in her 40s) refers to our mom as "mamma" and it drives me crazy. I'd rather her say "mom".

I think young kids (under 8-9) refer to mom as "mommy", but once they get older than 9, most kids say "mom".

We are from IL.

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❤.I.

answers from Albuquerque on

My girls call me mama. I think it's cute.

2 moms found this helpful
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J.F.

answers from Bloomington on

I think being called any of those titles is just freakin' wonderful! When you suffer with infertility (and I do mean suffer), you are just so honored to be a mom, mother, mommy, mama, or any other title that means motherhood.

My almost 5 year old usually calls me Mom unless she is wanting me to know just how much she loves me. "I love you, Mama." It melts my heart every time.

My 2 year old will say, "I love you, Mommmmm."

I don't give a rip about which title they call me....as long as it is said with love and respect.

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J.A.

answers from Indianapolis on

I prefer M. :)

I wouldn't mind having that title forever.

2 moms found this helpful
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J.T.

answers from Victoria on

idk my grandmother insisted we call her grandmother not grandma. kinda weird but she is a upperclass lady and status might mean something to her. grandma sounds homey, kind, some what country. but i like it and her younger set of grand kids (hs age- the rest of us are in our thirtys) call her grandma. i think grandmother fits her no nonsence outlook and approach. momma sounds a little southern our country. but its what i call my own mom and what my kids call me. but i do hold lots of names. i called my ex mil mum like the britts do!

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S.G.

answers from Norfolk on

I don't know why, but I don't like "momma" or "mama." Just my preference. I am "mommy." My mom was "mommy" when I was younger. I've read a lot of books ("A Tree Grows in Brooklyn" comes to mind) where the protagonist calls her mom "mama." Not southern, interestingly. Does anyone call their parents "ma" and "pa" like in Little House on the Prairie? Love the books, but I would feel strange calling someone "ma" or being called "ma" unless it was tongue-in-cheek. Sounds like you made a promise and it's worth keeping.

2 moms found this helpful

J.W.

answers from St. Louis on

I am mom but I have no problem with momma. I do have a problem with LO, how hard is it to type son or daughter? :-/

Ya know, my kids have only called me mommy when they want something they know I will say no to. Clever little beasts!

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A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

I used momma for myself and DD uses mommy. Or mom-EEE like right now. I don't have an objection to either. I find I use momma (or she does) more in tender moments, like when she's sick. My stepkids use a variant of my first name, so it was a big moment for me when DD first started calling me mommy. I didn't care so much the title, just that I had one.

1 mom found this helpful

K.L.

answers from Cleveland on

Congrats on the upcoming adoption :) We are actually awaiting being moved to adoptions from foster for my son. I cannot wait!!

Like you, we have avoided the "mommy" word out of respect for birth moms. We've had mainly young kids, and they really seem to NEED to call people "mommy" or something like that on a regular basis. So my partner and I have become "Mama" and "Mimi". My four year old was adopted this past spring and sometimes calls us "Mommy", which is fine. We don't correct her.

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C.P.

answers from Albuquerque on

I'll just say this: See my name for my preference!
Grew up just calling my mom "mom." Call my MIL "ma." Grew up in Mississippi where adult women would still call their parents "mommy" and "daddy"!! Give me a break--you're 30 years old and still say that?! DD calls me mama (unless she's being silly then "mommeeee") and her dad is "da" or daddy.

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L.R.

answers from Washington DC on

My mama was Mama to me. Her mama was Mama to her. And my granny's mama was Mama to my granny. It's probably mostly a Southern thing for us (North Carolina) but I grew up finding "mommy" to sound harsh. And to my ears "mommy" and even "mom" sound like things really, really young kids call their mothers, whereas Mama works at all ages - but I admit that I probably hear it that way because I grew up hearing my mother refer to my grandmother as "Mama" and hearing my grandmother talk about her own mother as "Mama." A mommy sounds like a young mother with a very young child, to me.

If my daughter started calling me mom or mommy, honestly, I'd ask her not to do so because it would really grate. But she's 11 and insists on her own that she will only call me Mama, so it's not an issue!

1 mom found this helpful
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S.H.

answers from Richmond on

My LO (and I say LO a lot b/c I too try not to identify too much on the internet) calls me Mama most of the time. We went with Mama b/c my husband is Papa. Not my choice - would have much preferred Dad or Daddy but my husband's ex insisted on Papa for their son. We didn't want the kids calling him two different things and it didn't seem right to switch when our oldest was 12. So, we are Mama and Papa although the LO calls me Mom, Mommy and the occassional Mum (British babysitter's influence!). Really, as long as he doesn't call me something hateful, everything else is music to my ears! I waited a long time for someone to identify me as Mom/Mama/Mommy. He melts my heart with all of them but especially Mama - it just sounds so sweet and loving when he says it.

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K.H.

answers from Richmond on

i am momma, my sister is mom mom
K.

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H.W.

answers from Portland on

From pregnancy, I knew I was a Mama. Kiddo calls me whatever comes to his head in the moment and I do not take offense. It's all the same to him. It's relatively the same to me. As long as it's not 'Mother', it's all fine.

I think that's a word, like 'babe' that would really depend on who was saying it as to whether or not I would be offended. Like the young petitioner who solicited me with a "hey babe" a week or so ago when I got off the bus.... hmmm, not liking that so much. (But Kiddo and I afterward had a great conversation about appropriate terms of address, family familiarity and formality with the rest of the world.... so, it was a good opportunity in any case.)

1 mom found this helpful

A.M.

answers from Kansas City on

I personally prefer mom or mommy . Just something about momma that I don't like. It really bothers me when my daughter calls me "MUUUTHER" (Mother)...it makes me feel like an old lady!

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N.L.

answers from Jacksonville on

I'm "mommy" or "mom" to my 3 yr old. We try not to use "momma" or "mama" to refer to me because it sounds very much like the Korean "baby talk" for food (proncounced mah-mah) so for us it's mostly just to try and avoid confusion.

Although I tease my daughter when she calls me "mom" instead of "mommy". I call her "Zoh" instead of "Zoh-ee"

1 mom found this helpful
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